the average Asda family

Food You have to admire the hilarious, raving zeal with which Matthew Norman dives into this restaurant review from Saturday's Guardian. It's a massacre. Do the staff know or is this the start of a very bad day indeed for them? It seems as though because Norman didn't like the food, everything else that was rotten with his visit became magnified:
I barely know where to begin with this one, so let's follow Julie Andrews and start at the very beginning, with the oppressive baronial hall in which we sat over drinks staring at copies of famous portraits of monarchs seemingly bought from the Rolf Harris Memorial Car Boot. From there we were led to a wildly portentous, stone-walled dining room in which the royal coat of arms sits above a huge, candle-filled fireplace.
Spot the moment towards the end were the review mirrors his visit and he clearly can't be bothered with it any more and wants to get out as soon as possible. I like the look of the anti-décor in the photograph, but look at those prices! The cost of a meal at Equilibrium (is this an April fool?) would comfortably feed an average Asda family like us for a month.

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