Theatre The Guardian has a new column called The Secret Actor, the idea of which is presumably to create similar buzz to The Secret Footballer with people attempting to guess their identity.
The footballer named names. The actor hasn't. Yet. Here's what we do know so far, from the first column.
They are male or female. They make a big thing of pointing out "actor" in The Guardian's style guide is utilised for both, and don't we know if from every comment section under interviews with female actors. Pointing this out could lead you to assume either way so it's probably a double bluff.
They're articulate. Unless a sub has been through this to flower up the language, they use words like "antithesis" and "meritocracy". They're also capable of knocking out seven paragraphs of something which looks like an essay.
They're always in work. Someone who refuses to follow the instructions of the people who're auditioning them is someone who can afford to lose jobs on a whim. Unless they're Joey from Friends.
They're in sitcoms. Though that doesn't necessarily mean they're not also in films, tv drama or radio. Such things are more flexible than they used to be.
You could infer also something about who they might be from their decision to write a column for The Guardian from their political leanings to whether they've written for them in the past. I'll get back to you on that one.