The Satan Pit.

TV When I was in my first year of school I used to attend bible study meetings. I wasn't a Christian. It was that moment we all go through when we trying work out what we believe in. I also talked to friends from other religions and thought about all of those hymns I'd sung in hundreds of school assemblies and the words of The Lords Prayer. I thought about war and the reasons for war, and eventually I realised or decided that actually no matter how philosophical you want to be about words being handed down from the supernatural as far as I could tell they were the words of men. That's when I parted company with the mono-theists.

Rather than just following the teachings of one religion, in fact, I was best going with my conscience and instinct, that there are bad and good things in the world and that whatever happens, happens and that if you're going to have faith in something, to have faith that it will all turn out ok in the end. If anyone asks what my religion is -- on those rare occasions that people ask now -- that I'll tell them that I'm a non-denominational spiritualist -- and once I've finished saying pretty much what's in these two paragraphs they don't ask any more (and probably remind themselves never to ask me about religion again).

The best writing leads someone to reflect back on these fundamental questions and that's what happened tonight. For the first time in some weeks, as well as being a romp, this was a script that allowed its characters to talk and ask those fundamental questions which bug everybody. The Doctor's rather complex belief systems are forever getting a hammering but I'm not sure that we've actually seen him stop and actually find himself stumped.

Quite rightly, the timelord couldn't conceive of a 'time' before 'time' that the entity, the big brutish Beaslian monster in the pit, couldn't possibly be from there. I mean surely there would need to be some time there for an existence (the Big Finish Divergant Universe Series for endless boring discourse on that subject). But it's pleasing to know that when it came to the crunch, his fundamental belief was yet again in humanity, and in this case Rose (who bless her judging by the beast's prouncement here doesn't seem long for this multiverse).

Just as a contrast, here's what Beyonce Knowles believes in, as discoursed during an interlude from one of her albums...

"I believe that harmonies are colors / Every time I paint it sharpens my harmony / Yesterday I tried to paint you / But they colors weren't beautiful enough / Your love goes beyond what I can say / Love, Beyonce."

Is that a great rhyme or what? Well, no. Anyway ...

What was so pleasing about the episode is that it could be this literate and yet still very exciting. Granted some of the beats will have been quite familiar to fans of the films of Jim Cameron and television of Joss Whedon and the writing of J R R Tolkien but does that matter if its something new to Who and still puts the viewer on the edge of their seat in a cocktail that looks like nothing else being made for and being shown on British television? I mean I know I've been ENTHUSIASTIC in the face of the stiff backlash but really this was great stuff. Even the big beast boss thing looked amazing, brilliantly thought through and ten times more charactersome that Cassandra or the Wolf. Who would have thought that this sort of thing was possible on such a relatively small budget. I think the The Mill are going to get even busier over the next few years. And the music of Mr. Gold didn't intrude nearly as much -- the sound seems to have been worked on. Even the intrusion of the Bad Wolf theme which seems to have mutated into the Doctor & Rose In Lurve theme seemed right in context.

Pretty much everything I said about the performances from last week is carried over to here (as you'd assume it would given they were shot together). Rose's behaviour continues to be a bit oddball though. There has obviously been an upwards confidence curve over the past two years which would indicate that she's being prepared to actually make some ultimate sacrifice. Nice return to the mad editing of Tooth & Claw to visualise the Doctor's through processes and the big heroic talk of The Christmas Invasion. Yet again I say -- it's great to see him saving the day again, even if for a change the division of labour spread to Rose as well. Seriously, I cheered in those final moments.

I'm sure that others will find something to complain about (are those mean spirited posters at Outpost Gallifrey watching the same programme?) but really for me this was as close to a perfect story overall as I think we can get. It had humour, excitment, danger, really wild things, horror, body horror, madness and thought. But look, as it should be, next week's is another change of pace with something that seem like a cross between the novel Who Killed Kennedy? Buffy's The Zeppo and the DC graphic novel, Finest. Amazing.

I still believe in Doctor Who.

Muffin

Life This last couple of days have been spent at a Philosophy of Film conference at Liverpool University. I'm feeling hot and drained so I can't really put into too many words how enjoyable its been. I might not be intelligent enough to have grasped all of the intricacies of everything which was said over the two days and I think I might have over compensated by talking to people a lot and loudly (as usual).

I did have a moment of zen during one of the breaks at the refreshment table on the first day when I began to second guess myself and my own greed.

Should that be a small muffin, or a large muffin?

I chose a small muffin.

I think it was a (tiny) personal victory.

Something which became perfectly clear during the two days is that the filmic experience we're all enjoying through dvd is nothing like that which should be a available at a cinema. Obviously. Even on a large screen tv, the interaction between you and the film is absolutely diminished because of the interuptions and distractions. It seems like the only, perfect way to see something like Tarkovsky's Stalker is in a massive auditorium with an audience that will stay completely still throughout the film just letting themselves be lost in the filmic experience. Anything other than that and the message or idea being projected by the film maker is corrupted.

Although dvd gives us access to many more films in a far better condition than could be conceived of previously the home market totally ruined the repertory secondary presentation system through which most people a few decades older than me saw these films. Although a flick through Time Out shows that these places do still exist in London, regionally, unless a new print has been released by the BFI, there isn't anywhere that someone could go and see an Bergman film in an environment close to that which he intended. There's something very wrong about seeing Persona on dvd. The pacing and rhythms are ruined because the viewer generally has somewhere else to look.

The trouble is, if in Liverpool, for example, someone were to buy up and renovate one of the old cinemas, The Futurist or old ABC on Lime Street and just had a diet of non-new not always commercial films, would there be an audience for them? I saw 8 1/2 at FACT last year and it was a near sell out but that was on the smallest screen. Perhaps a programme akin to that which the new version of the FilmFour channel are proposing might work, of 'popular' classics during the day with more challenging pieces in the evening. The only unknown factor I have is cost -- how much are the prints of these films to source and how big an audience would be required to survive?

Gutters

Journalism "The ongoing Diana saga provides a particularly clear illustration of the way in which the Daily Express constructs it's narratives. The text of the news item describes fairly un-sensational events which, so far as I can tell, really happened in the real world. But this text is surrounded by headlines, sub-headlines, cartoons, captions, phone-in polls, readers letters, and op-ed columns -- all of which tell a completely different, and much more dramatic story." -- Andrew Rilstone

I remember when we started buying the Sunday newspapers -- yes, in the eighties -- I used to love the Express because of the Funday Express comic strip section with Rupert The Bear. Although I didn't ever look at the rest of it, even my young brain liked the identity of the paper with the little red knight. Then it went tabloid and now it seems to have become a parody, not just of itself, but the business of news. I always imagine that Rupert is still in there looking about outside the four corners of his panel and trying to work out his 'Great Escape' style climb up the gutters [via].

Filmed football

Sport No hold on...

Film No erm ...

Whatever. Tonight, ahead of the World Cup (because everything seems to be ahead of the World Cup at the moment) the Cornerhouse in Manchester had a programme of Mitchell and Kenyon's turn of the century footage of random football matches. The films were presented with live commentary from collection curator Vanessa Toulmin and Dave Russell, football expert from the University of Central Lancashire. Pianist Stephen Horne provided a improvised piano accompaniment.

Anyone who saw the Dan Cruckshank presented documentaries will know how mesmerising these films are, literally a chance to look into a past that was visually lost up top a few years ago. Most of the work offered the same routine -- a mass of crowd shots, followed by material of the game. I'm no fan of the 'beautiful' game, but watching these men of the past with their cigarettes and moutaches the size of their faces showing great stamina as they dashed around the dirtiest of pitches seemingly without a break was incredibly moving.

In our post modern world, something of the community has been lost as these films demonstrated. One of the teams had a dwarf as a mascot and his appearance is incongruous but the applause he receives as he comes on to the pitch seemingly just to walk around is warm and welcome. There was a routine to life and men knew were they would be on a Saturday afternoon, at the ground supporting the team. Most of these matches had crowds that todays club's can but dream of.

The commentary added colour to what in some cases is understandable blotchy footage. One ground had a cycle track around its edge because multi-purpose stadiums were already being built -- we were told that it was opened with a monkey on a bicycle riding around the edge. In another incident, a game had obviously become a bit personal because as one team left the pitch they realised that one of their number was lying unconcious having been punched by someone in the opposition.

Good times.

Mark's kept that a secret.

Audio An extraordinary and slightly improbable thing happened tonight.

I've just got back from seeing Simon 'Dickens' Callow give a talk at my local cinema about writing his new book Hello America, which is the second volume of his biography of Orson Welles. As expected he was an extraordinarily brilliant storyteller and although I'm pretty good on Welles arcania there were still a few things I hadn't heard before.

At the end, as everyone left I was stuck halfway up the stairs, I turned around and realised that Callow and his interview were right behind me talking about what they'd had to cut for time. As we walked upwards someone asked him about the film he'd directed and about the footage we'd seen from It's All True one of the Welles' lost masterpieces.

As we walk into the area outside the screen and the crowd waiting for The Da Vinci Code, I realize that I'm the only person actually with Callow.
"Can I just ask you?"
Callow looked at me.
"Have you heard Invaders From Mars?"
Callow's still looking at me and I can tell he thinks I'm a loon. Anticipating a 'What's that?' question, suddenly I get an attack of the nerves but I continue ...
"... the Doctor Who audio play by Mark Gatiss in which Doctor Who* goes back in time and helps Orson Welles to stop a real invasion from Mars."
Callow's surprised. Genuinely surprised.
"No. Mark's kept that a secret."
"He didn't mention it to you?"
He grins.
"No."
By now we can walk forward through the crowd.
"Well a company called Big Finish puts out audio cds and this is the one that Mark wrote before the tv story. It's set on Halloween. Its got people like Simon Pegg and Jessica Stevenson in it."
"Who plays Orson Welles?"
Aaaah.
"I can't remember. But he enjoyed playing it so much that he took a one man show around the country in which he played Welles."
Callow raises his eye brows.
"A bit like your Charles Dickens." I finish.
Simon gives one of his belly laughs. The interviewer appears.
"Are you ready."
"I am. But I must go to the toilet first." Simon says.
"Pleasure to have met you." I say, but he's ushered away and doesn't hear me.

I would have thought someone might have mentioned it. I mean didn't Doctor Who Magazine ask the question?

* I know. But as I said I was nervous. I couldn't believe I was having the conversation.

You just don't care.

Film "See the problem is that a LOT happens in this film that should have enough of an emotional impact to make you feel like you've been kicked in the gut. Except it doesn't. At all. And that stinks because with the things that happen to characters we know in this film we should leave the movie theater dumbstruck and shaking our heads at the losses." -- ScreenRant puts into words what I somehow couldn't about X-Men 3. I think they were just trying to do the Serenity thing and somehow misunderstood how that was achieved.

Genius(ish).

Film I've just got back from seeing Simon Callow give a talk at my FACT Liverpool about writing his new book 'Hello America', which is the second volume of his biography of Orson Welles. As expected he was an extraordinarily brilliant storyteller and although there was an interviewer, his job was closer to verbal shepherd taking Callow through each section of Welles life than genuinely posing questions. Callow's book covers the years between The Magnificent Amberson and Macbeth to the subsequent exile in Europe. It's this period that fans generally point to as reason that Welles' genius was compromised as he was thrown out of Hollywood and forced to make films in an adhoc way.

The writer's approach is that actually the director himself had something to do with the career problems that ensued because he could never finish a project because he would always become engrossed in something else new and exciting and didn't want to look backwards. He was very slow to take action to save Ambersons because he was in Brazil making a documentary. He actually finished Macbeth but it sat around at Republic Pictures for ages while he pottered about with the editing and redubbing of the accents, which explains much if you've seen the completed film.

I didn't wait around to buy a copy of the book because I wanted to rush home and write about a slightly embarrassing occurrence that happened directly after the talk was over (I've posted it at Behind The Sofa because it fits better there -- no really) but I will be picking up the books because this sounds like a very enjoyable take on one of my heroes. During the talk, scenes from Ambersons, It's All True, The Lady from Shanghai and Macbeth and as soon as I've the time I'm certainly going to revisit his work and look at those items like Shanghai I've previously somehow missed. The man was a flawed genius but at least he seemed to care about his craft.

Updated 16/03/2015

To save you clicking, here's that anecdote in full:

An extraordinary and slightly improbable thing happened tonight.

I've just got back from seeing Simon 'Dickens' Callow give a talk at my local cinema about writing his new book Hello America, which is the second volume of his biography of Orson Welles. As expected he was an extraordinarily brilliant storyteller and although I'm pretty good on Welles arcania there were still a few things I hadn't heard before.

At the end, as everyone left I was stuck halfway up the stairs, I turned around and realised that Callow and his interview were right behind me talking about what they'd had to cut for time. As we walked upwards someone asked him about the film he'd directed and about the footage we'd seen from It's All True one of the Welles' lost masterpieces.

As we walk into the area outside the screen and the crowd waiting for The Da Vinci Code, I realize that I'm the only person actually with Callow.
"Can I just ask you?"
Callow looked at me.
"Have you heard Invaders From Mars?"
Callow's still looking at me and I can tell he thinks I'm a loon. Anticipating a 'What's that?' question, suddenly I get an attack of the nerves but I continue ...
"... the Doctor Who audio play by Mark Gatiss in which Doctor Who* goes back in time and helps Orson Welles to stop a real invasion from Mars."
Callow's surprised. Genuinely surprised.
"No. Mark's kept that a secret."
"He didn't mention it to you?"
He grins.
"No."
By now we can walk forward through the crowd.
"Well a company called Big Finish puts out audio cds and this is the one that Mark wrote before the tv story. It's set on Halloween. Its got people like Simon Pegg and Jessica Stevenson in it."
"Who plays Orson Welles?"
Aaaah.
"I can't remember. But he enjoyed playing it so much that he took a one man show around the country in which he played Welles."
Callow raises his eye brows.
"A bit like your Charles Dickens." I finish.
Simon gives one of his belly laughs. The interviewer appears.
"Are you ready."
"I am. But I must go to the toilet first." Simon says.
"Pleasure to have met you." I say, but he's ushered away and doesn't hear me.

I would have thought someone might have mentioned it. I mean didn't Doctor Who Magazine ask the question?

* I know. But as I said I was nervous. I couldn't believe I was having the conversation.

Dice

Books "After a generation out of print, the original Choose Your Own Adventure series is back. First published in 1979, the books let readers remix their own stories ? and face the consequences. A quarter-billion copies sold worldwide as kids raced to discover lost civilizations, navigate black holes, and go in search of ? the Yeti. This summer, eight of the original titles return to bookstores, revamped with 21st-century references (cell phones!). Will they become popular again?" -- Michael Reilly for Wired

Clever article written in the style of a Choose Your Own Adventure book. I was a Fighting Fantasy man myself. Oh hell now look what I've done ...

TIRED BLOGGER

Stamina: 2
Strength: 1

Will you defeat me? You can also play FF online here.

Stolen

Politics "In what may be the single most astounding fact from the election, one in every four Ohio citizens who registered to vote in 2004 showed up at the polls only to discover that they were not listed on the rolls, thanks to GOP efforts to stem the unprecedented flood of Democrats eager to cast ballots.(14) And that doesn?t even take into account the troubling evidence of outright fraud, which indicates that upwards of 80,000 votes for Kerry were counted instead for Bush. That alone is a swing of more than 160,000 votes -- enough to have put John Kerry in the White House." -- Rolling Stone

This is horrifying if unsurprising. I'm generally posting this because the meticulousness of the research is astounding as is the care taken to quote sources lest anyone suggests bias.

Assets

Life And so my bewildering dissertation reading programme continues as I plunge into the depths of trying to understand how genres are defined and how I can even attempt to do such a thing. It's actually very exciting, although as I'm discovering it can be done very badly and without recognising the values of the past. All too often a film like The Great Train Robbery is described as the first western and the start of a series that continued with a guilty feminist pleasure like Bad Girls, even though at the time it was actually part of a cycle of films narrating bank jobs and heists.

Actually one of the problems that continues to dog genre criticism is the primacy of old genres that have largely gone away, simply because there are so many of them. A huge chunk of writing follows westerns and musicals around even though there's only been a few of them in recent years (all to do with the life cycle of genres apparently). Horror and sci-fi are still around because they have adaptability on their side.

How am I apart from that? I'm back in existing mode, lurching onward to September and the dissertation handing in date and whatever happens beyond. I still have no idea what I want that to be. Film journalism's a dream but I still have that nagging feeling that my writing still isn't up to scratch (my X-Men 3 review being a new low) and that it's a really unpredictable business. Plus I wouldn't know where to start. Any ideas anyone? Some kind of columnist also sounds perfect. People in the real world keep saying 'You should become film reviewer' and good lord I wish I could -- if only because of the amount of really bad, slanted criticism knocking around.

Too many times now I'll want to find out actually how good a film is and have a bunch of prejudices thrown being tossed out masquerade as a fair opinion, too easily wanting to make the reader laugh. I read Sight & Sound and although sometimes the writing style can be a bit dry at least they give every film a chance. There's a piece about the Kelly Brook staring beach drama Three III which whilst conceding that it's largely a vehicle for Brook, actually talks about problems with editing and scripting and careful justfies why it's not that good a film. I'd rather have that, a situation were you actually learn something, than some gimp simply giving it one star and knocks on about her 'assets'. Err thanks.

We must act quickly...

Theatre "It was widely stated that Jude Law was set to play Withnail in a West End adaptation of the 1987 film, but according to Withnail himself this isn?t the case at all. "Bruce Robinson called me up about this immediately, and he said, ?Do you know anything about this??, and I said, ?No, no, nothing at all,?" says Richard E Grant. "The guy is a producer, I think he has bought the film and he owns the rights to that but he doesn?t own any rights to turn it into a theatre play. So it?s pure fantasy and Bruce Robinson said over his dead body, it?ll never happen. He?ll sue him." -- Empire Online

JUDE LAW!?! You know sometimes you hear about there projects and you can tell that someone's plucked a name out the air. Thank the gods that version isn't going ahead. Although seeing the thing in a theatre with Beckettian styling sounds excellent, especially having the immediacy of what is, after all, a very literate script. That Bruce Robinson continues to live without renumiration is a tragedy.

The Impossible Planet.

TV I saw the new X-Men film last night. I didn't enjoy it in the end, partly because the screen was tiny and filled with teenagers who didn't seem to actually want to watch the film but mostly because it felt like the work of someone who was trying to make what they thought an X-Men film should be like rather than trying to make something which entertains because it's the X-Men. I've had much the same criticism of a couple of episodes of Doctor Who this season, and despite my positive review last week, but in this case I was afraid it was my problem -- that I was becoming slightly jaded with the whole thing. Call it a crisis of faith if you like but I almost didn't watch tonight's episode while it was on, just in case.

Thank God I did.

I've seen fans playing games trying to work out which of the old eras each episode is most like. For the first half I actually thought I was watching a spruced up First Doctor story (which was weird) then as the climax descended I knew this was pure Eighth Doctor territory, right down to the news that TARDISes are grown (which ties it in with Alien Bodies doesn't it?). In my sporadic reviews of that era, I suggested that the the Eighth Doctor books were all about a small humanoid fighting against giant planetary or galactic forces, and that's exactly the territory this story has dropped into (although with a bit of Robots of Death tossed in for good measure).

Generic discussions aside, I can't believe that something like that is going out on Saturday teatime. I don't remember the last time the show did demonic possessions so well, with all the tattoos and screaming and random death. But classically it managed to meld the epic proportions of potentially a Lord of the Rings size foe with moments of human terror and body horror. Having just recently rewatched Pyramids of Mars I was amazed to hear the voice of Sutekh demonstrating how a horrific voice in a tiny cabin can be just as chilling as a computer generated wolf, if not more so because you simply don't know what it wants or what it's capable of. Well alright, at the end, with the Ooooood we're back in marching killing alien territory, but when has that not been something that happens? Well alright the design of the back of their heads was ... interesting ... but I like the idea of the globe translators giving the wrong signal -- especially as the cause of the basically false teaser cliffhanger -- I don't think that's ever been done before.

Also, unlike the rebels in the Cyberman story, the crew were clearly defined from the opening scene. The writing of Matt Jones (who I think I once met at a script conference) proved that in a two-part you simply do have the time to establish characters, even a little bit, so that when wiggy things happen to them, possibly resulting in death, you care. Scooti Manista (MyAnna Buring) was likeable companion material so you actually felt something as she floated away in the almost void (really she was great -- anyone else feel a twinge of regret that she left so soon?) Finally, for the first time in what seems like ages, we had the Doctor and Rose sitting down and having a chat about something, even if it was the loss of the TARDIS (another Eighth Doctor novel paradigm). Given that we already have some idea what happens in at least a couple of the episodes after this we know that it'll be turning up again (I'm guessing the psychic link) but part of me wishes that we could see the Doctor and Rose trolling around the universe conventionally for a few episodes and dealing with that. Is Doctor Who just about time travel?

And in a weird move, Tennant seemed to have toned down his performance slightly whilst Piper's gone in a whole other direction. Anyone else wonder if in places the spirit of Cassandra was still around or if Rose was doing an impression of Ken Branagh's drunk act from Peter's Friends? Surely the loss of the TARDIS leading to no way home would have led to a bigger reaction. A coping mechanism? Are we seeing the effects of all that travelling, that she's become desensitised to the happenings? Is it that belief that everything will turn out alright in the end so why worry? They're heading for a fall. They are. But it has an amazing cast of largely film actors who've previously worked with British directors like Mike's Leigh and Winterbottom and it really shows. And none of them gave the kind of BIG LARGER THAN LIFE performance that actors stuck in sci-fi dramas too often end up doing. It's a treat to have someone like Secret and Lies' Claire Rushbrook (who I once saw shopping Manchester with Bev from Brookside) in (still) my favourite programme (have at you the less good final season of The West Wing).

I think you could actually see the directorial difference here. Were Euros Lynn is all about interesting angle and visceral action, James Strong's more of a wide angle lense, legible action kind of a guy. In moments when I'd expect a handheld we had smooth movement, but there were still those beautiful sweeping crane shots. The editing was a bit weird towards the end though, the repetition of what looked like the Doctor dancing in the cave. Despite some excellent Firefly-style violin chords during the demonic-aaaah scenes, the full orchestral score, whilst suitably epic was still TOO BLOODY LOUD, with some bits of dialogue being lost in the mix. Whose problem is this? The sound mixer? The Dolby downmixer? Murray Gold himself. I mean it's not just us who are noticing this -- I hear even Dead Ringers have done a sketch. Will someone do something please?

Look -- if the only bad thing you can say about an episode is that the music is too loud then something very right must have happened. From the production design that looked like a movie to a script which sounded like one too, the week's Doctor Who raised the bar yet again and confirmed my theory that you take the good with the bad. This time The Age Of Steel allowed to us to bathe in the awe and mystery of The Impossible Planet and I can't wait to see into The Satan Pit.

Thank you, and good night.

Meating places

Food "With so many different fast food chains out there and so many hamburgers to choose from, it leaves one with some of life's most difficult decisions. What hamburger is the best? How do you choose the best tasting hamburger? By simply reading this article. With over 20+ years of scientifically proven taste testing experience, we (my taste buds) have researched the different meats that fast food restaurants have to offer." -- John Money at The Plain Jane

Ugh.

Film When I heard that hack director Brett Ratner had left the Superman project I was happy. When I heard that he'd replaced Bryan Singer on X-Men 3 I was unhappy. Then I saw the trailer and I was happy and again ? and ? well alright this could go on forever but really, I thought that actually, things might not be so bad after all, that the production momentum that Singer could have built up might have been enough for the film to quite good after all.

Today I saw the film.

Oh dear.

I've actually seen some reviews that have talked up the good aspects of the film, but frankly they're all in denial. Most comic book films run a fine line between brilliance and boredom, and I'd say that usually it's something that can't be put into words. Unless your watching Batman & Robin (or walking out as I did).

It's actually very easy to say why X-Men: The Last Stand doesn't work.

There are too many characters and not enough time given for us to care about them, or enough work done to make them distinctive enough, because it features too much bland, placeholder-rate dialogue. It doesn't have a feel for the characters that have been built up in previous films, and too many of them drop out of the film to often and illogically, some giving speeches that are fundamentally wrong as though the words have been written and given to whoever hasn't said anything for while.

There's far too much plot with two stories vying for attention either of which would have been perfectly fine on their own and were in their original comic book form. That one of the plots is from the classic Chris Claremont era and the other from Joss Whedon's latest work on what's been described as the best book since the Chris Claremont era makes the whole thing all the more horrifying.

The spectacle rules the story not the other way around, meaning that unlike the earlier films it lurches from set piece to set piece. Important, iconic story moments that fans will have been waiting for are flubbed away at the expense of other scenes that lack resonance. All of the previous talk about storms coming and the great big battle to end all great big battles add up to naught, especially in the anti-climactic resolution.

It's edited within an inch of its life and doesn't notice that in the Singer films the best moments happened when the characters were just hanging around and chatting. It's not funny enough. It has a horrifyingly generic score. It spends half its time referencing the first film then actually tells us it's referencing the first film in the dialogue.

Hmm.

But paradoxically there are still some moments of genius, hairs on the back of the neck brilliance. Some of the characters work extremely well when they're given room, especially Beast and Kitty Pride who both have the best fight scenes in the film. Despite looking uncomfortable with some of his lines, Hugh Jackman's still great as Wolverine and given that she ends up effectively carrying the other half the film, Hallie Berry finally shines in her role as Storm.

Some of the new mutants are special even if many of them feel generically characterized. The opening scene in the Danger Room is fun even if it tosses off a plotline from the comics that would have been excellent had the filmmakers had the balls to have gone with it, especially since it is the actual final battle, not the sortie that appears here. Some of the special effects are, well, special, even if at times it feels as though the film pauses for a while so that we can see them.

Really this is one of those cases when I'd sufficiently lowered my expectations and still ended up disappointed. To be honest, it's amazing how carefully the X-Men trilogy has paralleled a certain other sacred trilogy. And just like Jedi, this'll pass the time but not make you feel truly satisfied.

Burger

Food "IF an American tells you to go and try the best hamburger in town, you might start thinking of one of the American diners decorated with those oh-so-typical red leather seats and chrome bar stools, purchased out of a How to make an American Diner catalogue. The hamburgers there are huge, garnished with half a kilo of Freedom Fries, swim in ketchup and mayonnaise, and, horror of horrors, the juice has been squeezed from the pickles." -- Eszter Balázs on a Budapest burger battle.

Pianonono

Music The theme from Tetris played on a badly tuned piano. But she's not the only one @ YouTube with the bug. There are thousands ...

Healthy

Life I've handed my essay in and I'm in the process of trying to do some reading although with the summer and the fact that everyone else in the university seems to be having fun it's very easy be distracted. Which is possibly why I'm typing this rather than have my head in the book.

As I walked away from the faculty I was heckled by someone, an older man with a friend. They were both bearded and in old looking clothing. They were carrying half drunk bottles of white cider.

"Hey student." He shouted, "You're healthy lookin' for a student. Are your mummy and daddy in the police? Is your daddy a mason?"

Wierd.

Grin

Politics Since this seems to be a politics and plants sort of a day, lets join our correspondent Nick Robinson as he asks Just Why Is Gordon Brown Smiling?

Plant envy

Plants " There is more to nettles than just their sting. Butterflies love them, clothes are made from them, and they can even cure aches and pains. This week (17-28 May) is national Be Nice to Nettles Week and this Saturday 27 May the Natural History Museum is celebrating with a Nettle Day. You can take part in a range of talks, activities, tuck into nettle-based food or even buy nettle gifts."

I seemed to spend my whole childhood being stung by these things. And every single time I'd cry. And every single time my Dad would rush off to look for some dock leaves to cure the pain. Despite the medicinal effects of the nettle, it's really those dock leaves that are the heroes in this. But's not national Be Dandy to Dock Leaves week is it? It's always the bad guys that get all the glory.

News cycle

Politics "Federal authorities are actively investigating dozens of American television stations for broadcasting items produced by the Bush administration and major corporations, and passing them off as normal news. Some of the fake news segments talked up success in the war in Iraq, or promoted the companies' products. [...] The range of VNR is wide. Among items provided by the Bush administration to news stations was one in which an Iraqi-American in Kansas City was seen saying "Thank you Bush. Thank you USA" in response to the 2003 fall of Baghdad. The footage was actually produced by the State Department, one of 20 federal agencies that have produced and distributed such items." -- Andrew Buncombe

I don't usually cover US politics here (or any kind of politics for that matter) but this is really, really horrifying. I suppose the comparison are those media outlets that use the video packs that film companies send out to publicise films in which they'll sometimes use the interviews and pretend the particular actor or director was talking directly to them. But this is political propeganda that cuts to the heart of the subject of journalistic independence. As far as we can tell these news outlets don't have to release this stuff, but that fact that they do and pass it off as real news is wierd. But then I look at the news in the UK when parliament is sitting and see how often the top story is some initiative that the government here is due to/has announced at such time that it'll perfectly hit the news cycle and I wonder. But then, I suppose, in those cases, balance is provided through the opinion of other parties ...