Theatre This week, Not Romola Garai, or Secret, sigh, ploughs headlong into Shakespeare. Luckily he manages to dodge her in time.
Whoever is writing this is so shit scared of being found out, when they quote from an interview, they keep the subject anonymous. What's interesting is there also isn't enough for us to find this "legendary" article online, even by wildcarding the quote.
The ensuing anecdote, which is about someone else, so therefore irrelevant because she also neglects to mention their connection if it exists, sounds like it's about the RSC.
Sadly it's not really about anything else other than the arrogance of some actors and doesn't really go anywhere and is even given away in the subheadings of the article, which like a trailer for an Adam Sandler film was presumably scrabbling around for material from the thinnest of scraps..
As the first commenter notes, "Seriously, this is getting painful now."
Which it is. Nine articles in and even I'm beginning to miss the point, if there is one.
Showing posts with label Who is the Secret Actor?. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Who is the Secret Actor?. Show all posts
Who is the Secret Actor? #8
Theatre Well, it's not Romola Garai if as this week's column suggests Secret has never acted nude. Romola's been naked on several occasions, most prominently in The Crimson Petal and the White. Fiddlesticks.
On the upside the fact that Secret hasn't acted naked and that a director would think that isn't necessarily a good idea narrows things down quite a bit, or at least, offers a piece of important information should a specific list of potential names become a possibility.
There are other titbits. We know for example that she's the sort of actress who would be given a job out of the blue at the theatre. She's famous enough, at least in some circles, or has been for that.
We also now know what kinds of jobs she's done. We have a confirmation that she's done commercials, or at least it's implied. She's also done "screen" and theatre and in the theatre a play in which a character is walking around naked for a whole scene should the director choose to.
Here's some. Here's some more.
As a side note, I once saw an all nude midnight production of Hair at the Edinburgh Festival. That's not something you ever forget.
I also saw an experimental dance piece at university which just consisted of the two performers artistically removing their closes then putting them back on again to the gangling about of a gamelan. It was a matinee. I can't forget that either for a whole other set of reasons, and no, not because I was one of the performers. Enjoy that image nonetheless people I've met.
Nevertheless, if not Romola, who?
On the upside the fact that Secret hasn't acted naked and that a director would think that isn't necessarily a good idea narrows things down quite a bit, or at least, offers a piece of important information should a specific list of potential names become a possibility.
There are other titbits. We know for example that she's the sort of actress who would be given a job out of the blue at the theatre. She's famous enough, at least in some circles, or has been for that.
We also now know what kinds of jobs she's done. We have a confirmation that she's done commercials, or at least it's implied. She's also done "screen" and theatre and in the theatre a play in which a character is walking around naked for a whole scene should the director choose to.
Here's some. Here's some more.
As a side note, I once saw an all nude midnight production of Hair at the Edinburgh Festival. That's not something you ever forget.
I also saw an experimental dance piece at university which just consisted of the two performers artistically removing their closes then putting them back on again to the gangling about of a gamelan. It was a matinee. I can't forget that either for a whole other set of reasons, and no, not because I was one of the performers. Enjoy that image nonetheless people I've met.
Nevertheless, if not Romola, who?
Who is the Secret Actor? #7
TV There's a deceptively large amount of information in the latest column, which took a week off for the bank holiday. Secret's talking about someone else again but there information that could prove useful should this thing run on long enough that we can read between its many lines.
This week it's about dealing and working with writer/performers. After a bit of preamble, there's an anecdote about a situation in which the a writer/performer is precious over their lines. At this point I should note that there's probably no right answer to this. Some writing has a rhythm to which is important to keep fidelity with and some writers are happy for whatever help they can get to make the thing better. If there's a breakdown in communication here it's that the state of affairs wasn't made clear during rehearsals and there's always the possibility that Secret's friend is being pigheaded about running all over the writer's words which they've had to toil over. Writing isn't easy and comedy writing, if done well is even harder.
Ahem, anyway, they've filming for TV in front of a live studio audience so this is a studio based, multi-camera sitcom or sketch comedy.
No times are given but consider:
The Household Name is a woman.
How many women in the history of television have been writers and performers of their own material in multi-camera sitcom?
French and Saunders
Ruth Jones
Meera Syal
Catherine Tate
Julia Davies (ish)
Miranda Hart
Jessica Hynes
Victoria Wood
Maureen Lipman
Assuming it's the UK of course. Could be anywhere in which case ... shrugs ... I've asked Twitter again. James's old blog post about female writer/performers is pertinent too.
But the point is it's a finite number. Plus it's fairly well indicated that the person who is Secret's friend is a supporting player and not really friends with the Household Name. Plus someone reading the column might even have been at this recording. It's the kind of incident easily remembered. So they would know who the Household Name is and also who Secret's friend is and ...
Well, the other thing is you do begin to wonder who would or could be like this. Secret calls them a "national treasure" which could suggest Wood. But that would send us as far back as Dinnerladies wouldn't it?
Yes, well, not as much information as I thought. It's all rather like being on the edge of trying to remember something but ... what was I saying?
This week it's about dealing and working with writer/performers. After a bit of preamble, there's an anecdote about a situation in which the a writer/performer is precious over their lines. At this point I should note that there's probably no right answer to this. Some writing has a rhythm to which is important to keep fidelity with and some writers are happy for whatever help they can get to make the thing better. If there's a breakdown in communication here it's that the state of affairs wasn't made clear during rehearsals and there's always the possibility that Secret's friend is being pigheaded about running all over the writer's words which they've had to toil over. Writing isn't easy and comedy writing, if done well is even harder.
Ahem, anyway, they've filming for TV in front of a live studio audience so this is a studio based, multi-camera sitcom or sketch comedy.
No times are given but consider:
The Household Name is a woman.
How many women in the history of television have been writers and performers of their own material in multi-camera sitcom?
French and Saunders
Ruth Jones
Meera Syal
Catherine Tate
Julia Davies (ish)
Miranda Hart
Jessica Hynes
Victoria Wood
Maureen Lipman
Assuming it's the UK of course. Could be anywhere in which case ... shrugs ... I've asked Twitter again. James's old blog post about female writer/performers is pertinent too.
But the point is it's a finite number. Plus it's fairly well indicated that the person who is Secret's friend is a supporting player and not really friends with the Household Name. Plus someone reading the column might even have been at this recording. It's the kind of incident easily remembered. So they would know who the Household Name is and also who Secret's friend is and ...
Well, the other thing is you do begin to wonder who would or could be like this. Secret calls them a "national treasure" which could suggest Wood. But that would send us as far back as Dinnerladies wouldn't it?
Yes, well, not as much information as I thought. It's all rather like being on the edge of trying to remember something but ... what was I saying?
Who is the Secret Actor? #6
Theatre Secret's in generic mode again this week talking about other people in other places and lookatmeism.
Within she talks about a "Young Actor Pal" who could be anyone, attending a meal that has a very famous person hold forth who could also be anyone. Without names or faces, I'm not sure what we're meant to draw from it other than that human beings walk around, breath, are sometimes arrogant and often have dinner, all at the same time.
It could just as well be that "Young Actor Pal" is Secret herself in which case she's using an anonymous fictional friend within an anonymous column for the purposes of an anecdote which makes her look clueless, but the philosophical implications of that would be enough for a whole series of Adam Curtis films.
So here's a parody of an Adam Curtis film about Adam Curtis's films:
Also today, The Guardian published this interview with casting directors which says more about the profession than the first six of Secret's columns. Here's Doctor Who's casting director Andy Pryor on receiving presents:
Within she talks about a "Young Actor Pal" who could be anyone, attending a meal that has a very famous person hold forth who could also be anyone. Without names or faces, I'm not sure what we're meant to draw from it other than that human beings walk around, breath, are sometimes arrogant and often have dinner, all at the same time.
It could just as well be that "Young Actor Pal" is Secret herself in which case she's using an anonymous fictional friend within an anonymous column for the purposes of an anecdote which makes her look clueless, but the philosophical implications of that would be enough for a whole series of Adam Curtis films.
So here's a parody of an Adam Curtis film about Adam Curtis's films:
Also today, The Guardian published this interview with casting directors which says more about the profession than the first six of Secret's columns. Here's Doctor Who's casting director Andy Pryor on receiving presents:
"The worst," he says, "is when you get a card with a teabag in it, and the card is filled with glitter – so that when you open it, it goes all over you. They say, 'We just wanted to get your attention.' It's like, 'Yes you did. Now we've got to clean this shit up.'"Pryor then goes on to admit that they have cast roles on the strength of unsolicited approaches. I wonder who.
Who is the Secret Actor? #5
TV After last week's information overload, Secret's back to talking about someone else.
She has a friend who's a bit like Martin Freeman and is everywhere, but before that was being asked to be a bit like Martin Freeman in auditions.
If this is Romola "After the recent birth of my child, I had the misfortune of having 23 stitches in my vagina. So I didn't think I'd be laughing at anything for a long time - but tonight's nominees have proved me wrong" Garai (Oh wasn't she brilliant last night? Wasn't she?) then a prime Freeman-like suspect would be Joshua McGuire from The Hour.
He's sort of Freemanesque. He's not "everywhere", certainly not on television. He's not a household name. He isn't out of work at the theatre though. He played Hamlet at The Globe in 2011. He's at The National at the moment.
The comments underneath the column are still scathing, but I'm sticking with it, if only for the intellectual challenge.
One of them is making an effort and suggests a few decent possibles. Hits upon Hugh Bonneville as another possible, which could work too thanks to the Glorious 39 connection, but he's not very Freeman-like, plus he's was knocking around well before Freeman turned up nullifying the premise of the column.
She has a friend who's a bit like Martin Freeman and is everywhere, but before that was being asked to be a bit like Martin Freeman in auditions.
If this is Romola "After the recent birth of my child, I had the misfortune of having 23 stitches in my vagina. So I didn't think I'd be laughing at anything for a long time - but tonight's nominees have proved me wrong" Garai (Oh wasn't she brilliant last night? Wasn't she?) then a prime Freeman-like suspect would be Joshua McGuire from The Hour.
He's sort of Freemanesque. He's not "everywhere", certainly not on television. He's not a household name. He isn't out of work at the theatre though. He played Hamlet at The Globe in 2011. He's at The National at the moment.
The comments underneath the column are still scathing, but I'm sticking with it, if only for the intellectual challenge.
One of them is making an effort and suggests a few decent possibles. Hits upon Hugh Bonneville as another possible, which could work too thanks to the Glorious 39 connection, but he's not very Freeman-like, plus he's was knocking around well before Freeman turned up nullifying the premise of the column.
Who is the Secret Actor? #4
Theatre Gender! We have a gender!
This column's about open calls and attend auditions which aren't a perfect fit. In the midst of which we have:
"On one occasion, despite knowing I am not an ideal fit, I decide to audition for a musical about hookers in the wild west and dress accordingly. I wear a very low cut top, showing a fair amount of cleavage ..."
Hello, secret actress. I was right all along.
Of course, The Guardian style guide prefers to ungender, so utilises "actor" much to the chagrin of commenters on most interviews with women in the profession, despite the fact as even the Wikipedia acknowledges:
Meanwhile, because this is an anecdote, and because it does have some specificity about it, it's the best column yet and has a funny punchline.
It still feels like it's Romola Garai but admittedly looking at her biography the timings don't fit. Minnie Driver? Gemma Arterton?
As for the show? I've asked the Twitter hive mind. I'll update this if I get any responses.
This is important because a timing could be extrapolated. The assistant of the director of this was just about to tour Winnie the Pooh. Is it the Disney Live version?
This column's about open calls and attend auditions which aren't a perfect fit. In the midst of which we have:
"On one occasion, despite knowing I am not an ideal fit, I decide to audition for a musical about hookers in the wild west and dress accordingly. I wear a very low cut top, showing a fair amount of cleavage ..."
Hello, secret actress. I was right all along.
Of course, The Guardian style guide prefers to ungender, so utilises "actor" much to the chagrin of commenters on most interviews with women in the profession, despite the fact as even the Wikipedia acknowledges:
"After 1660 in England, when women first appeared on stage, actor and actress were initially used interchangeably for female performers, but later, influenced by the French actrice, actress became the usual term. The etymology is a simple derivation from actor with ess added. The word actor refers to a person who acts regardless of gender, and this term "is increasingly preferred", although actress, referring specifically to a female person who acts, "remains in general use". Within the profession, however, the re-adoption of the neutral term dates to the 1950s–60s, the post-war period when women's contribution to cultural life in general was being re-evaluated. Actress remains the common term used in major acting awards given to female recipients."So for the purposes of this exploration she'll remain the secret actor, because The Guardian says so.
Meanwhile, because this is an anecdote, and because it does have some specificity about it, it's the best column yet and has a funny punchline.
It still feels like it's Romola Garai but admittedly looking at her biography the timings don't fit. Minnie Driver? Gemma Arterton?
As for the show? I've asked the Twitter hive mind. I'll update this if I get any responses.
This is important because a timing could be extrapolated. The assistant of the director of this was just about to tour Winnie the Pooh. Is it the Disney Live version?
Who is the Secret Actor? #3
Film So far, then, the approach taken by the secret actor, heretoforth known as "Secret", for remaining secret is to write in as vague or generic terms as possible and not to include as far as is apparent anything specific.
But there are hints. Take yesterday's column.
We can't really tell who the "very beautiful actor" is. She's a she. She's also British. The problem is we don't have any timescales. For all we know this could be decades ago. Could be Jenny Agutter. Could be Minnie Driver. Could be one of the Richardson-Redgraves.
We're told that Secret is wearing "evening attire" which pretty gender non-specific but the texture of the rest of the paragraph, indeed this whole thing, still suggests female to me.
But notice how, though we're told that the mutual producer friend (who could be anyone frankly) has introduced them at the opening night of a play, we're not told if either of them are actually in it.
We are told that Secret was out of work for a year but again without timescales she might just have been in at the start of her career.
Romila Garai wasn't in continuous work last decade. Despite the bitchiness at the end of this week, I still think this is her, though I should also consider the question of why she'd be doing this unless it's some kind of post The Hour cancellation creativity revenge plot.
[I should add that the readers are revolting. The comments underneath are entirely negative. But I do think there's a long game to this if they want to stick with it.]
But there are hints. Take yesterday's column.
We can't really tell who the "very beautiful actor" is. She's a she. She's also British. The problem is we don't have any timescales. For all we know this could be decades ago. Could be Jenny Agutter. Could be Minnie Driver. Could be one of the Richardson-Redgraves.
We're told that Secret is wearing "evening attire" which pretty gender non-specific but the texture of the rest of the paragraph, indeed this whole thing, still suggests female to me.
But notice how, though we're told that the mutual producer friend (who could be anyone frankly) has introduced them at the opening night of a play, we're not told if either of them are actually in it.
We are told that Secret was out of work for a year but again without timescales she might just have been in at the start of her career.
Romila Garai wasn't in continuous work last decade. Despite the bitchiness at the end of this week, I still think this is her, though I should also consider the question of why she'd be doing this unless it's some kind of post The Hour cancellation creativity revenge plot.
[I should add that the readers are revolting. The comments underneath are entirely negative. But I do think there's a long game to this if they want to stick with it.]
Who is the Secret Actor? #2
Film I wasn't intending to make this a weekly venture but ...
This week's column is shorter and more enigmatic and seems to be missing a final paragraph. Are we supposed to assume the writer is Once Famous Actor or Young Actress or neither?
The latter would make sense and confirm my assumption that this is someone who's already written for The Guardian like Romila Garai, who's previously written something similar when The Observer ran the "my week" column.
Let's see what Gender Genie says.
The first column when put through as a blog entry (which is what it amounts to) says:
Female Score: 403
Male Score: 548
The Gender Genie thinks the author of this passage is: male!
This second column?
Female Score: 639
Male Score: 483
The Gender Genie thinks the author of this passage is: female!
So that's inconclusive unless there's more than one columnist or we're seeing the gendered intrusion of sub-editors.
Just to check, I put my Doctor Who review this week through the genie too, and ...
Female Score: 4057
Male Score: 4924
The Gender Genie thinks the author of this passage is: male!
Just for fun, I also passed Garai's my week column though and ...
Female Score: 1280
Male Score: 1481
The Gender Genie thinks the author of this passage is: male!
Which puts us right back at the beginning again. Until the actor person starts dropping proper anecdotes we won't really have a clue, especially since in terms of Garai's career, a Once Famous Actor has too many candidates ...
This week's column is shorter and more enigmatic and seems to be missing a final paragraph. Are we supposed to assume the writer is Once Famous Actor or Young Actress or neither?
The latter would make sense and confirm my assumption that this is someone who's already written for The Guardian like Romila Garai, who's previously written something similar when The Observer ran the "my week" column.
Let's see what Gender Genie says.
The first column when put through as a blog entry (which is what it amounts to) says:
Female Score: 403
Male Score: 548
The Gender Genie thinks the author of this passage is: male!
This second column?
Female Score: 639
Male Score: 483
The Gender Genie thinks the author of this passage is: female!
So that's inconclusive unless there's more than one columnist or we're seeing the gendered intrusion of sub-editors.
Just to check, I put my Doctor Who review this week through the genie too, and ...
Female Score: 4057
Male Score: 4924
The Gender Genie thinks the author of this passage is: male!
Just for fun, I also passed Garai's my week column though and ...
Female Score: 1280
Male Score: 1481
The Gender Genie thinks the author of this passage is: male!
Which puts us right back at the beginning again. Until the actor person starts dropping proper anecdotes we won't really have a clue, especially since in terms of Garai's career, a Once Famous Actor has too many candidates ...
Who is the Secret Actor?
Theatre The Guardian has a new column called The Secret Actor, the idea of which is presumably to create similar buzz to The Secret Footballer with people attempting to guess their identity.
The footballer named names. The actor hasn't. Yet. Here's what we do know so far, from the first column.
They are male or female. They make a big thing of pointing out "actor" in The Guardian's style guide is utilised for both, and don't we know if from every comment section under interviews with female actors. Pointing this out could lead you to assume either way so it's probably a double bluff.
They're articulate. Unless a sub has been through this to flower up the language, they use words like "antithesis" and "meritocracy". They're also capable of knocking out seven paragraphs of something which looks like an essay.
They're always in work. Someone who refuses to follow the instructions of the people who're auditioning them is someone who can afford to lose jobs on a whim. Unless they're Joey from Friends.
They're in sitcoms. Though that doesn't necessarily mean they're not also in films, tv drama or radio. Such things are more flexible than they used to be.
You could infer also something about who they might be from their decision to write a column for The Guardian from their political leanings to whether they've written for them in the past. I'll get back to you on that one.
The footballer named names. The actor hasn't. Yet. Here's what we do know so far, from the first column.
They are male or female. They make a big thing of pointing out "actor" in The Guardian's style guide is utilised for both, and don't we know if from every comment section under interviews with female actors. Pointing this out could lead you to assume either way so it's probably a double bluff.
They're articulate. Unless a sub has been through this to flower up the language, they use words like "antithesis" and "meritocracy". They're also capable of knocking out seven paragraphs of something which looks like an essay.
They're always in work. Someone who refuses to follow the instructions of the people who're auditioning them is someone who can afford to lose jobs on a whim. Unless they're Joey from Friends.
They're in sitcoms. Though that doesn't necessarily mean they're not also in films, tv drama or radio. Such things are more flexible than they used to be.
You could infer also something about who they might be from their decision to write a column for The Guardian from their political leanings to whether they've written for them in the past. I'll get back to you on that one.
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