especially on Today

Politics Chris Addison in The New Statesman says that both politicians and the news media should leave satire to the satirists:
"The reporting of politics on television and radio in this country is itself turning into a joke. It doesn't help that most TV bulletins give the impression that those involved have misunderstood The Day Today and taken it to be some sort of training video. The reporting is overlaid with a patina of knowing, matey awfulness, and every report seems to start from the standpoint that all the politicians involved are foolish and the reporter could have told them it would end up this way."
I stopped watching television news on purpose a couple of years ago in favour of Radio 4. Sometimes it can be capable of the crassness that Addision is describing (especially on Today), but most often its just the facts attitude is refreshing.

On Friday night, PM dedicated its first fifteen minutes to describe the results of the latest Potters Bar enquiry, unpicking the implications and speaking to interested parties, sensitively and without a hint of sensationalism. It's still available on the iPlayer and well worth a listen as a good demonstration of how broadcast news should be done.

translated

Theatre Woody Allen's full length plays have finally been translated -- into Iranian:
"The plays ‘Play it again, Sam’ and ‘Don’t Drink the Water’ written by Woody Allen and translated by Behrang Rajabi are published by Cheshmeh publications in 2000 copies and price of 3500 Tomans."
To be honest that press release is worth reading because its quite some time since I've seen anything which has to explain who Woody is and to see what's left in and out.

Translation.

History Reading the Writing on Pompeii’s Walls at the Smithsonian. It's the Roman twitter:
"Rebecca Benefiel stepped into the tiny dark room on the first floor of the House of Maius Castricius. Mosquitoes whined. Huge moths flapped around her head. And – much higher on the ick meter—her flashlight revealed a desiccated corpse that looked as if it was struggling to rise from the floor. Nonetheless, she moved closer to the walls and searched for aberrations in the stucco. She soon found what she was looking for: a string of names and a cluster of numbers, part of the vibrant graffiti chitchat carried on by the citizens of Pompeii ..."
Translation: "RT: @judianreg Thenacuth'th Oediputh #pilatethplayth"

the argument fits here too.

Books In Defense of Amazon:
This isn’t the case with Amazon. Before it appeared on the scene, if you lived in a part of the country that happened not to be served by a great independent bookstore, you were out of luck when it came to getting books other than bestsellers. As a child growing up in suburban Baltimore—not exactly a backwater!—I felt keenly the lack of ready access to the books that I wanted. (Remember the joke of a selection at your local mall’s Waldenbooks?) And with the quirkier independents—such as the great Louie’s to which I paid tribute above—you were at the mercy of the owner’s idiosyncrasies, which meant that you might find shelves stocked with contemporary poetry but nothing by, say, Tolstoy.
This is a US article but the argument fits here too. Arguably Borders UK went out of business because they reduced their selection, removing one of their main selling points. Waterstones isn't looking pleased for some of the same reasons (not least changing the branch to branch individual buying process in favour central warehousing).

Amazon stock almost everything, and if they don't have it, one of the indies who are selling through their website will. I also like that about Amazon. It supports independent retailers by providing them with an infrastructure to offer their wares. And cheaper, although clearly that helps us rather than them.

I've also seen people criticising Lovefilm lately for putting the high street video rental shops out of business. But I don't see Blockbuster or the majority of those indies stocking the Tommy Trinder or Bunuel films I received this week; along with cheaper retail dvds, viewers seem to be happy to sacrifice immediate choice for selection and price. Or at least I am.

That cannot be a coincidence.

Film Music Honestly, it's not just that Hans Zimmer based most of the musical score to Inception on “Non, je ne Regrette Rien” which punctuates the film in its own right ...



It's that Chris Nolan also hired Marion Cotillard who was the lead in the Edith Piaf biopic, La Vie En Rose, to play Leo's girlfriend. That cannot be a coincidence. But which came first, the casting or the song? Oh, the academic essays which will be written about this film ...

'My Hamlet'

Linda Marlowe, who appeared as Gertrude in the infamous Berkoff Hamlet was on Radio 4's Midweek yesterday morning because ...
"Her latest show is 'My Hamlet' which she is performing at the Edinburgh Festival Fringe. It consists of Linda, Shakespeare's greatest text and six brilliant puppeteers from Fingers Theatre, Georgia. She plays Sarah, a cleaner who finds herself playing the actor's definitive role, as a company of puppets come to life around her."
Should be available to listen here for the next six(ish) days. There is also a podcast.

aren't we all

Blog! One time Heardsaid contributor (aren't we all) and friend of the blog Tom Reynolds has quit his job as an ambulance man and will now be blogging under his real name Brian Kellett:
"As for this blog... well... I'm unsure of what form it's going to take in the future. WIll I be still writing about ambulance stuff? Will I be documenting my journey into urgent care? Will I just natter about whatever interests me at that moment in time? I'm not quite sure. Certainly I'm not going to stop writing and in fact, later today, I'm heading into town to have drinks and a chat with a friend about something we are planning together.

So I'll keep blogging, but I'll no longer be the 'ambulance blogger', I'll be 'that annoyingly nerdy blogger', which I think puts me in good company."
Good luck, Brian.

Crack!

TV Remember this?
To: Licensing and Creative, Pyramid International (official licensees for Doctor Who posters)

Hello,

While your Doctor Who character posters are very exciting, some of us fans and kids and fans who are kids and fans who have kids always love something interactive. It's why we purchase the Sonic Screwdrivers and standees in our droves.

Why not produce a poster of the crack in Amy Pond's wall when she was seven years old?
Well, ha!
At: Forbidden Planet.

Doctor Who
Poster: Crack In Time

"Oh dear - have you got a scary crack on your bedroom wall? Who knows what that could lead to?

Straight from the new series of Doctor Who a crack in the fabric of the universe all ready to hang about your home!

Poster measures 11.75" x 36"."
A couple of problems. The logo works against authenticity and it's the open shiny shiny crack from (I think) the Byzantium rather than something which will blend in.

But still look!

Crack!

aren't there a lot of men?

Film You've probably seen this already, but just in case ...



To endorse the crowd, "woop" and "yeah"!

Except, my first reaction was: aren't there a lot of men?

Traditionally, The Avengers has been a predominantly male superhero team but even in the comics, The Wasp was a founding member. As you'd expect, the wikipedia has a list of members and I think I can see what the problem is. Here's a complete list of female teamsters from across the years from the various flavours of The Avengers:

The Wasp
Scarlet Witch
Mantis
Ms. Marvel
Tigra
Mantis
She-Hulk
Captain Marvel
Mockingbird
Firebird
Spider-Woman
Invisible Woman
Crystal
Firestar
Hellcat
Jocasta
Stature
Valkyrie
Sharon Carter
Marrina
Magdalene
Moira Brandon
Masque

Some of those will be tied up in the Fox X-Men license which I think includes any of the mutants in the Marvelverse (that's Scarlet Witch done for) and similar movie deals (Spiderwoman?). Others because they're part of a property that could be sold on-mass like The Inhumans. But mostly it's because outside of comics circles they're so horrendously obscure.

The only names that really have a cache are Firestar because of the Saturday morning cartoon and She-Hulk and it's unlikely that she'd be included in a film with her more famous cousin without the huge mass of baggage. Oh and Invisible Woman but that would be too weird.

It's a few years since I was really absorbed in Marvel Comics, but I can't think of another proper a-list female Marvel Comics character who isn't a derivation of an existing male character or depends on a super hero team for her existence. I even asked twitter and nothing quite fitted the bill.

Black Widow seems to be in this because Marvel consciously "introduced" her in Iron Man 2 and that might have worked for others from that list, The Wasp for example. But perhaps her non-appearance is because of the potential Ant-Man film, what with their continuity being linked together.

In other words the reason The Avengers is a men's room is not necessarily the film maker's fault. There just aren't enough female a-listers to go around. Which is a pity because Dichen Lachman would make an excellent Mantis. Or Emily Brunt as Hellcat. Or Ali Larter as Ms. Marvel. I'll stop.

Updated later in the day: Or not. A trailer has been released for a new cartoon series, which features the movie line-up plus Ant Man and The Wasp.



Ron Livingston and Michelle Monaghan had best keep their diaries clear.

how they're photographed

Music Conclusive proof that Zooey Deschanel only looks like Katy Perry depending on how they're photographed, which is not standing next to one another. Probably the most sought after pop culture photo since this.  Your next mission, paps, is Alex Jones and Christine Bleakley together.

the Eighth Doctor finally

TV As you've probably heard a dozen or so people suggest already, Moffat and Gatiss's new Sherlock is blistering entertainment, funny and enthralling (and great to see the later cantankerous version of the Eighth Doctor finally getting a tv series albeit called something else and not played by Paul McGann but you can't have everything). Gatiss offers some commentary:
"It didn't take long, though, for us both to shyly admit that our favourite versions of the oft-told tales were the Basil Rathbone/Nigel Bruce films of the 1930s and 1940s. Particularly the ones where they brought them up to date.

This may sound like heresy but really it isn't. Although Steven and I are second to none in loving the flaring gas-lit atmosphere of a lovely old London, it felt as though Sherlock Holmes had become all about the trappings and not the characters.

Also, the original stories are models of their kind. Incredibly modern, dialogue-driven, fast paced and short! What better way to get back to the roots of these fantastic creations than to make Holmes and Watson living, breathing, modern men just as they had been originally?"

Doctor Who Prom 2010.

TV Listening to a Doctor Who Prom on the radio should be a miserable experience for most fans simply because we’re not there and we can't see what we're missing. When the audience are reacting to whatever’s happening in the Royal Albert Hall, it’s not until the end of a piece that (in this case) presenter Petroc Trelawny explains that the eleven rhythmic applauses are for the video appearances of each of the different incarnations of the Doctor, so we should be disappointed that we couldn’t quite rightly cheer for Paul McGann at the correct moment (or whichever Doctor is wrongly your favourite).

Yet, Karen’s funny introductions in which she seemed be surprised by the sound of her own voice, Arthur's astonishment at the scale of the auditorium, the weight of the orchestral and choral sound and the infectious atmosphere in the hall were just enough to transport at least my thoughts to my imagined favourite spot just in front of the stage (which I hear in reality isn’t acoustically the best place to stand but it's my imagination so for me it is). Someone else from this parish was actually in the hall tonight (and will be again tomorrow lunch time) and may write about the experience so I don't really want to steal his thunder. But I did at least want to say, as Karen might, wasn't that, well, amazing?

This was also a fascinating first chance to hear the imaginarium of Murray Gold (orchestrated by Ben Foster) largely without the dialogue on top. First impressions in the prologue and The Mad Man with a Box were that in keeping with Moffat’s scripts, Gold had embraced the infantile qualities of the premise of the series by shifting from the ethereal qualities of “Flavia” to the kinds of der-der-der-dum-da-dum vocals that a child (and some adults) might use to interpret the music, essentially giving them something to sing along to. As the concert progressed, Gold was keen to demonstrate that although this is a new series with new themes, the range and ability he established in the previous era was still in effect.

This Is The Doctor, what we heard of it under being drowned out by the dialogue (for a chance – it's usually the other way round) in contrast to the Tenth Doctor's angsty theme, is broad and rhythmic with an added, strident level of heroism that suggests the character has moved on from the underlying tragedy of the first two incarnations of the new era. Battle in the Skies (Daleks vs Spitfires) may have lacked the raw vocal distinctiveness of the The Dark and Endless Dalek night, but the meddly Liz, Lizards, Vampires and Vincent better demonstrated the range of sounds that the composer has to produce across the series, the final section perfectly capturing the melancholic state of the painter.

Perhaps inevitably my favourite tune of the night was Amy, which keys in nicely to the slightly madcap elements of the character’s personality but also includes some evident discord because her life doesn’t make sense. Murray’s companion compositions have been a mix of tragic (Rose), plaintive (Martha and Rose) and screwball (Donna) and in Amy he finds something rather more magical, perhaps because it has to cover the span of a longer life, and so has to fit both the child like wonder of Amelia and the bright young yet cynical thing she’s become.

Another gift at the close of the concert was the latest version of the Doctor Who theme, and for the first time in general public (after a couple of tantalising hints at the stuttery end of the credits sequences in the Doctor Who PC games) the middle eighth which is the moment when this rendition suddenly makes sense as the choir crashes in. I still live in hope that Moffat will have a change of heart and make good on his praise for the Delia Derbyshire arrangement and use the thing in the next series, but after hearing Murray's latest version tonight I’m oddly less hostile towards it. The graphics still look horrendous though.

Amid Murray Gold’s gold, the classical, some would say archival music was well chosen: the incessant, metrical sound of John Adams’s Short Ride in a Fast Machine brought to mind the ticking of a clock; Walton’s busy Portsmouth Point Overture suggested the bustle of a space port; Wagner’s repeating Die Walküre (which I made some good jokes about last time); Orff’s O Fortuna, the certain inspiration for much of Murray’s choral work and Holst’s Mars from The Planets the certain inspiration for much of the music in the Star Trek films, almost unlistenable now without imagining Picard growling “The line must be drawn here!” just as the Enterprise shatters into a thousand tiny pieces.

During the interval in 2008, the BBC controversially commissioned science fiction writer Justina Robson to provide an audio essay on the programme which quickly descended into a bonkers evisceration of the sexual politics of the show. This time, much more in keeping with the mood of the concert, Matthew Sweet offered a pleasant and intelligent short history of the score music in the classic series from An Unearthly Child through to the unearthly noise of Keff McCulloch which 2Entertain would do well to snap up and put out as an extra on one of their future releases.

All of the composers interviewed were on good form and although some of the stories were well worn (Dudley Simpson biking over the pages days before transmission), it was interesting to hear how their experiences and the demands placed upon them by successive producers were very similar across the forty years, assuming that if the video wasn't of the standard they'd hoped, the music would be able to somehow pull it together. That it did, is a testament to their creativity and like Sweet, I too sometimes whistle City of Death out in the world, and even did it in Paris. But that's a story for another time.

Back in the Albert, any disappointment about the audience’s genuine sympathy for the exterminated Daleks before the interval (has it come to this?) quickly dissipated in the face of Matt Smith’s lively and mostly live turn as the Doctor. In an interview at the back of this month’s Doctor Who Magazine, the actor suggests, going into the next series, that he has a better handle on how to play the character and that was certainly on display here as he navigated a mix of improv and script with a volunteer from the audience. Smith is able to fully inhabit the Doctor now and it seems to be because he’s realised that the best way to make him convincing is to simply be himself (unless he was simply being himself tonight and so therefore he was the Doctor – there’s a brain teaser).

Music of the Spheres succeeded because of its evocation the beauty of classical music through a rather gorgeous speech; whatever this was called simply brought the magic of the show right into the auditorium. We weren’t given an indication on the radio as to the age of this small boy, but surely the experience of interacting with a fictional character will have interesting repercussions for his future psychological development. Let’s hope for the sake of his parents he doesn’t spend the next decade or so obsessing about this mysterious imaginary friend from his past who he helped save half of London, but then, unlike Amy, but like the rest of us, he can keep in touch with his friend’s adventures. And how they sound.

Next: Dvořák's Slavonic Dance in E minor Op.72 No.2

the Inception-like walls of your reality

Drama I know that hyperbole is very easy for me, but this may well be one of the best blog posts I've ever read. A screenwriter called Josh writes about a nocturnal encounter. I won't spoil much more than that other than to say, when you begin reading and see paragraphs like:
"The Character-driven Procedural works for a number of reasons, but the biggest and the best of them is this: they almost never get picked up to series without a Serious Asswhipping Actor in the lead. Simon Baker. Hugh Laurie. Tony Shaloub. Kyra Sedgwick. Angie Harmon. These are legitimate cleanup hitters in any TV lineup. They might not be the favorites of the genre crowd. You might not stand in line for their autograph. And you are not going to see them down at Comic-Con doing funny panels with Jeff "Doc" Jensen. Why? Because they are too busy making the other twenty million people who watch tv every night love them."
... he's just putting you into a false sense of security, as the Inception-like walls of your reality slowly begin to crash down.

all kinds of useful things.

TV My only experience of BBC Blast, the corporation's youth broadcasting initiative has been in seeing their megatruck park on the field in Sefton Park in Liverpool for a few days once a year, so when the Strategic Review suggested its closure I didn't pay it much mind, at least not as much mind as 6Music.

Turns out, as Laura Snapes argues, its work is vital, offering a range of community and educational services unavailable within the commercial sector, not least in terms of work placements. As a previous employee she knows full well the positive effect it can have on a young life and says that it's what led to her being in the position she is now:
"In May 2005 I was appointed BBC Cornwall’s Blast Reporter, which entailed spending the summer running my own section of the BBC Cornwall website. I interviewed bands, jewellery designers and the inventor of the first biodegradable surfboard, took photos of the Eden Sessions and played at being a real journalist for the summer. The same scheme went on in the majority of the BBC’s local newsrooms. With our sections being primarily arts-based and aimed at fellow teenagers, our duty as reporters was to file at least one article and diary entry per week in exchange for rigorous BBC training in internet content management systems, professional recording equipment, and safety procedures."
In other words, BBC Blast gives teenagers the chance to properly experience the business of working in the media across an extended period (rather than an odd week's work placement), and even if they don't subsequently go into the media, their life aspirations will at least have been increased, it having been illustrated to them that they have the ability and potential to do all kinds of useful things.

So Save BBC Blast, yes?

[follow @saveBBCBlast here]

Getting to the Bottom of the Bard

New press release ...
"There’s magic in the air. After a hugely successful UK and international tour of Macbeth, Shakespeare 4 Kidz hit the road again this autumn with a revival of their acclaimed A Midsummer Night’s Dream.

Fairies and fun, royalty and romance, magic and misunderstandings: A Midsummer Night’s Dream has them all and more. So, little wonder this enchanting play is one of the most popular ever written. The Bard’s comedy gets a magical transformation from S4K, whose musical version has long been a must-see for school parties and family groups.

This child-friendly version of the play launches its national tour at the Palace Theatre in Mansfield on Tuesday September 14. It will play two shows a day until Friday September 17 before taking off round the country until the end of November. A second leg of the tour begins after Christmas.

A galaxy of S4K celebrity fans have already sent good luck messages for the show.

Dame Judi Dench: (Titania at the Rose in Kingston this year): “I am happy to support any approach that helps children to understand Shakespeare’s plays and to realise that they are about emotions that we all share – love, jealousy, anger etc – all of which can be found in The Dream!”

Dame Helen Mirren: “Good wishes to Shakespeare 4 Kidz. A Midsummer Night’s Dream is the Avatar of Shakespeare, with something to be enjoyed by all age groups, a great message and lots of fun and fantasy. Enjoy!”

Victoria Wood: “Good luck, stay cool – there’s nothing worse than a nervous Bottom!”

Graham Norton: “Have a wonderful show. Good Puck to you all!”

Jason Donovan: “It is great for kids to appreciate at an early age great writing and none has a better grasp of the English language than Shakespeare himself. Enjoy the journey kids!”

Barbara Windsor: “To all the Shakespeare 4 Kidz, I would like to wish you lots of luck with your A Midsummer Night's Dream tour. What a wonderful way to introduce Shakespeare to a younger audience. To all of you who are performing, and to all who are watching, ENJOY! Lots of love Barbara Windsor x”

Corrie’s Archie Shuttleworth Roy Hudd, whose Bottom was a big hit in the Regent’s Park Open Air Theatre, even wrote S4K a special good luck poem.

And Loose Woman/Calendar Girl Lynda Bellingham remembers the fun she had when she appeared in the play.

“Amazingly my first professional role was Puck in A Midsummer Night's Dream at The Pendley Shakespeare Festival in Tring, Herts. It was an open air theatre and I had to run like the wind down a leafy glade arriving centre stage to say "Over hill over dale I do wander everywhere” etc. My first ever crit in the local paper said that if I never made it as an actress I could always try my hand in the 100 metres as I was so fast!”

The Dream is one of six S4K titles, following on from the 2009/10 national and international hit tour of Macbeth.

With a script and songbook by Julian Chenery and Matt Gimblett, and assistance from Mr Shakespeare, every S4K show uses the whole Shakespearean plot but uses only the most famous original lines and slots them into modern language so that everyone – even the youngest primary school children – can understand.

Adults in the audience who have previously been baffled by the Bard will find that they can at last understand what it is all about!

There are also songs, dances and lots of spellbinding effects as the fairies create a world of wonder in the woods.

Teachers, parents, pupils and critics are unanimous in their praise for S4K shows. Here are some of the things they said about Macbeth.

“My class and I caught a production of Macbeth…it was fantastic…a wonderful introduction to Shakespeare,” wrote a teacher from Northampton.

“I never thought Shakespeare cold be so interesting,” agreed a parent from Leicester.

“My favourite thing that’s happened this term,” said a 10 year old from York.

“My 10 year old daughter, who had already seen the afternoon performance with her school, couldn’t wait to go back for a second showing in the evening. That’s high praise indeed from someone who normally prefers Hannah Montana,” said a critic from Barnstaple.

Tyler in a Year 7 class in Truro gave it five out of five; Matthew in Year 6 in Leeds said it would stay in his memory for ever and Bethany, a Year 6 from Buxton, said: “The worst part was the interval!”

S4K promise a Dream show for all the family. So, why not fly away for some fun with the fairies!

A complete list of tour dates is available on www.shakespeare4kidz.com. Most venues offer two shows a day (morning and matinee).

S4K also offers classroom workshops led by professional actors/teachers plus, new for this year, Day Dream. This is a one-day cross-curricular experience in which up to 80 pupils can be involved. Following fun workshop sessions the participants stage their own mini version of A Midsummer Night’s Dream for family at friends at the end of the day.
I've been invited to the Manchester show and will report back. I've previously reviewed Macbeth here.

again and again

Film Whilst I await the release of the Inception blu-ray so that I can watch it again and again, I'm pleased to see that Cinematical, or a piece of it at least shares my theory about ... well just read it (assuming you've already seen the film).

Exciting crowd sourcing fact checking opportunity.

Journalism As Suw suggests, this New York Times story about David Cameron and British politics in general reads like it's discussing an alternative reality version of Britain. One inaccuracy, about the number of unemployed there are in the country has already been corrected but there are some strange turns of phrases as:
"The National Health Service, while protected from cuts, has been ordered to shed thousands of jobs. The coalition’s plan is to hand real power — and 70 percent of the health budget — to general practitioners, who, in the coalition plan, would decide for the first time in the health service’s 60-year history what kind of treatment patients would get, and where they would get it."
Which only seems about half true. The NHS has been order to do anything of the sort, not directly.  Can anyone else spot anything which doesn't look right? 

The List:
15. Dissed by Lily Allen on twitter

Life For the interested, these are the facts ...

Last night, Lily Allen was tweeting her unhappiness at the way Channel 4 were going after Zac Goldsmith, essentially saying some not very nice things about their journalism and how, to her, they're hounding one man rather than going after the lot of them.

Me being me, (ie) a fan, I decided to send her:
@lilyroseallen Have you seen the footage of Zac's father defending himself on The Money Programme in the 70s? bbc.co.uk/blogs/a...
She was being fairly heavily criticised at the time, and I assume she thought I was being sarcastic, which I wasn't and replied with:
@feelinglistless have you seen the footage of my dad in vindaloo ?
I replied, yes, and that I thought he was also very good as the Sheriff of Nottingham, and pointing out that I wasn't being sarcastic, suggesting that James Goldsmith's strategy was rather good since the journalists didn't know what to do outside of their comfort zone. She didn't get back, presumably because they got lost in the several hundred other replies she was probably getting.

There then followed a long discussion with @JoannaOC20 (who I don't know) about whether Lily was insulting me or not, a point on which we decided to agree to disagree. So I've assumed, that, for the purposes of the list (which I really should get around to writing down) and since it's as close as odds ...
15. Dissed by Lily Allen on twitter

Just enough to frighten the life out of me.

Life Earlier on today I heard my first gunshot.

Travelling up and down Merseyrail's Southport line all of my life, I've looked at the names of the stations and wondered what the actual place was like. So with time on my hands, I decided to travel the route and finally alight at those stations which have otherwise been a mystery and just go and finally have a look.

As it turned out, there were less places to stop I thought, having already been to the likes of Formby and Waterloo and I quickly discovered that there was a reason why my parents hadn't dragged me off the train at Hillside. There isn't very much for the idle tourist to do. These are just places were people live.

Childhood illusions were shattered left and right as I strained to find something interesting to look at. Bank Hall offers a good view of some wind turbines. Walk far enough away from Seaforth and Litherland's station and you reach the Leeds/Liverpool canal. Freshfield is a residential area with a level crossing, a cafe and a range of financial services.

Hightown seemed like it was going to be the least interesting of all. Like many of the stations on the line, it's mostly a feeder platform for the sand dunes and the walk along the Mersey. A pretty retirement village in a similar style to Port Sunlight or for our international readers, Leadworth in Doctor Who.

With only half of the day gone I decided to go and look at those dunes. Lacking any sense of direction and despite having looked at the map, I was fairly certain, rather quickly, that I'd gone in the wrong direction. But I kept walking, knowing that I couldn't be that far away from either the beach or the railway line.

Sure enough, eventually I did see what looked like the dunes ahead of me; tall grassy hill, lots of sand. It wasn't long before the new found confidence in my stride was reduced to a wimpy stroll as I noticed the KEEP OUT! signs and barbed wire. This was not public access to the beach.

This was not access to anyone but the Ministry of Defence because I'd stumbled upon Altcar Rifle Range. Looking up to the top of that tall hill, I could now see a sentry on guard duty silhouetted against the blue sky. He didn't turn to look at me and yet I still felt very vulnerable, very certain I was being watched.

Having got my breath back, I thought better of staying and and quietly slipped away. As I turned into the residential street that innocuously leads up to the training camp, I heard sudden noise, then a smattering of similar sudden noises. I jumped. A lot. And wondered what-in-the-hell-was-happening.

It was gun fire, of course, and this was the first time I'd heard it in real life. On television, yes. In films, obviously. But never with my own ears and not this close. Assuming they were live rounds, they had less aural punch than I imagined. More like a succession of pops, like a champaign cork. Just enough to frighten the life out of me.

I could still hear them and even as I neared the railway station the sound was still ever present. The juxtaposition was strange, being in the middle of what should be a quiet place were professional people live out their retirement, forever punctuated by gun shots.

One of the locals, a pensioner, was getting out of a car. Initially stopping her to question her about directions, I had ask her the inevitable. Do you live around here? Yes, she said. How do you live with it? The what? The gunshots? Oh, well, (she chuckled), after a while you stop hearing them ...