'Meet me in Montauk...'

Life I'm feeling fairly extant this evening. Given my new hours at work, and that today was the first day of those hours, it's as though everything should have changed. But here I am at 10:20 in the evening writing for the weblog having just sat through the audio commentary on the dvd for Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (and wish Charlie Kaufmann would say more about the work and process). Perhaps I'm identifying with Joel (Jim Carrey's character in the film) a little bit, with his feelings of loss but not quite being able to put his finger on of what (at least at the start of the film). Like I used to one kind of person and I've become someone else, and I'd really like to return to being that person I was, and I know it's possible, but if I force the issue with myself it'll be false, a facsimile. I should be happier trying to the me I am now. Whatever that is.