"Today was about as much fun as a sandpaper dildo."

Film I'll let this Twitter thread tell the story:

How disappointing.  Not as disappointing as it must have been for the lady audience member carrying a large box of popcorn and a bottle of apple Tango who muttered as we were leaving, "I booked a day off for this".

There's a strange emptiness which comes from being excited to do a thing, planning your day around it and then the thing not happening. 

I came home and watched the British psychothriller The Ones Below, which is fine even if the ending needed someone with a keen eye to point out that the surprising twist really isn't and edit accordingly.

It's not Picturehouse at FACT's fault and they're now struggling with a screen down and having to reschedule all kinds of screenings in order to acomodate the Deadpool 2 crowd:

Lots of people will be entering the cinema today who may not know about the fault expecting to see one of these films.  Hopefully they'll be understanding and treat the staff well.

Some things to think about.

Life With the prospect of May disappearing without posting anything here, I decided that it was time for me to post something here. Find below a weekend update.

Item! Last Monday was my monthly visit to London, my third to the National Gallery and I've almost completed the Sainsbury Wing, or at least been to all the rooms in the Sainsbury Wing even if the rehang of the paintings renders the whole idea of being a completist meaningless. One major discovery. After many years not at all being that impressed with Titian, after having stood nose to canvas with his work I now absolutely understand why he's considered a genius. Smartly, the NG hangs his paintings largely chronological order so even across the ten or so works on display the visitor is able to see how innovative he was and how in his long life in the 1500s, he somehow managed to encompass techniques used in the Victorian era and the following century but four hundred years earlier. His Portrait of a Young Man, taking into account the fashions, could easily have emerged in the 1880s. An Allegory of Prudence is a solid piece of surrealism. The Death of Actaeon has a landscape which wouldn't look out of place in a Constable sketch.  The Virgin suckling the Infant Christ glances towards Turner and the Impressionists in that the form only really makes sense the farthest away someone is standing.

Item!  After a couple of years eating my London dinners at Pizza Express, I've migrated to Leon, a fast food chain which only really has outlets in the capital apart from a couple in Manchester.  As Grace Dent noted yesterday in her Guardian column, "Yes, they look atrocious. Yes, they are wonderful."  Most of the menu consists of boxes which include a pile of thinly cut cabbage, some brown rice and then a thing, like Mediterranean meatballs or Thai Chicken Curry.  The result is gorgeous and even with my current mouth (see below), full of flavour.  Plus there's an outlet in Euston Station which saves me having to walk around looking for somewhere to eat on my London days.  I can have a more productive walk then have something before I get the train home.

Item!  This is my last London visit for a couple of months.  The £17 single tickets haven't appeared on The Train Line for June and July but with Lime Street Station closing through both of those months, it's probably for the best.  I'll just book for three weeks in August instead if they're available.  I've thought about walking the route of the boat race along the Thames - the only problem is deciding which side of the river to choose.  Any suggestions?

Item!  A health update.  My anxiety disorder continues.  After visiting the GP the other week, we agreed to up my dose of sertraline to a hundred mg, and at the moment I'm upramping at 75mg.  Already I'm feeling the effects.  I'm actually writing this for a start, although I know there'll be a point when my artificial pleasantness will become monotonous.  Meanwhile, we think I've somehow developed oral thrush which necessitates putting a sweet tasting substance which looks like wallpaper paste on my tongue after every meal.  Essentially my tongue isn't tasting food properly if at all, or just some morsels more than others.  Oh and I have an bladder disorder necessitating another daily pill for a month and trying to train myself not to feel like I want to go all the time through "holding on" for want of a better description, try to slowly reduce the number of visits to the WC.  The GP gave me an eight page document about what to do about this.  One in six people suffer from it.  Eyeroll.

Item!  Work necessitating waiting until yesterday evening to watch the Royal Wedding.  My reaction was much as you'd expect.  For all my suspicion of monotheistic religion, the address by Bishop Curry of the US Episcopal Church was a remarkable piece of oratory both for its incongruity within that setting, mentioning subjects and quoting from figures that you might not expect.  This was a celebration of what Meghan Markle is adding to the Royal family, its history and future.  As I've said before, that's why I love the Royals - Cromwell accepted - they've been one of the few constants in British life and a way of tracking the history of not just them but ourselves.  The BBC's coverage was ok, although I miss some of the poetry of recent years with, surprisingly, Richard Bacon, the only voice to really capture the moment with a sense of gravitas as he reflect on the reaction in Meghan's home town.  This guy.  Crikey.

Item!  Finally, after thought about setting up a Patreon but realising that power comes with responsibility, I decided to put together this Amazon wishlist filled with TARGET novelisations which I'm now collecting with a view to reading my way through the lot in order (to give me something to blog about obviously).  If you're kind enough to buy me one, I'll be happy to write a blog post on a subject of your choosing (if that's any kind of inducement!).  Take care.