Help! Plea to anyone within reading distance. You may have heard that Geocities are withdrawing free ftp access, which means if I can't get something sorted out within a month, no more 'feeling listless'. I can't sign up to the one of the premium services because they aren't being offered outside the US. This is all a symptom I suppose of being on a gravy train. So could any regular readers please get in touch and offer some advice about setting up an account with a hosting service -- tell me which are the really good (cheap) ones were you've received excellent service (or at least half decent). I really need a hand with this. Sign the guest book, or contact me at the email address on the sidebar, which is feelinglistless@btopenworld.com ...
Huh? I'm at a book sale, browsing. A woman enters and approaches a stall holder...
Her: Have you got any books on art?
Him: What kind of art?
Her: Erm...painting?
Music Bellefire. Found another one. What is it with girl groups not being able to worm their way into upper end of the pop charts? The list is getting longer... The Triplets, Sugababes, Hepburn, Thunderbugs, Cleopatra, Bardot, The Alice Band, Girlthing. For some reason, with the exception of The Spice Girls and All Saints, girl groups have completely failed to enter the hearts of teenagers. It's not exactly clear why. Many have the same producers as single artists and boybands yet they always fail to get airplay (leading to abject failure), or get airplay but fail to make the top ten. This makes no sense to me. And now we have bellefire, four girls who you would have thought might create a few teenage crushes (and twenty something ones) and ... nothing. Which is a shame because 'Perfect Bliss' is a better track than most. Fingers crossed on that next single, girls.

Quiz


What is your meaning of life?
Commerce Err hello, my name is Stuart and I bid on ebay ...
Words Ruminations on Eskimo vocabulary. Just how many words do they have for snow? "The Public Information Officer for the North Slope Borough, Barrow, Alaska, has said, "the Inupiats have more than 30 words for snow, and more than 70 words for ice. In the Arctic, the specific conditions of snow and ice are critical to hunting and survival. ..." (Patkotak 1994). And again, "Ice is very important here because of whaling and hunting done on the pack ice. Each word denotes ice in a very specific place or condition. Use the wrong word when you go hunting on the ice and you are apt never to be seen again" (Patkotak 1996)." Fascinating article which blows a few myths but creates a few new ones.
Film How well do you know your teen stars? 10/10, by the way.
Food They've broken the sound barrier. They've made subatomic particles break the light barrier. Now the final breakthrough has been made. The Ten Minute Lasagna. But hold on, what this? 'total time: 45 minutes' Nooooo .... but I suppose calling it the '45 minute Lasagna' doesn't sound quite as impressive.
Commemoration The British Heritage Blue Plaque Scheme comes under fire from The Spectator for an apparent lack of good taste. Regular readers will have noticed I've been highlighting this magazine's bizarre crusades but this one is actually quite fun -- at least worth having a shout about. The main argument on show here is that that British Heritage are a bunch of mindless jerks because they can't see that his favourite author V.S. Pritchett deserves a plaque more than Lokamanya Tilak, the Indian Philosopher.

Apart from the fact that Pritchett would fit snuggly onto the article writer's own Who? list aren't the B.H. right not be handing these things out like candy? The darker undercurrent of the article also seems to be that we should be honouring the British before anyone else ("All I can say is that if English Heritage refuses to acknowledge properly the great men of England and London, we might as well start sticking up our own plaques.") Isn't this a bit of a singular view? Anyway, read the article. It's worth it just to see his use of the word 'fastidiousness'.
Blog! The Seethru weblog is an oddity because for something such a breath a way from being corporate it’s actually quite good. The obligatory mention for the tv show which spawned it ‘Attachments’ should of course be included here, but the work as a whole on Seethru has grown beyond it’s origins to make it an indispensable little portal. The linkblog is particularly well thought out – rather than completely repackaging the charts at Blogdex for an audience who don’t look at weblogs, more often than not there will be something you haven’t seen before. Hats off then to Soph and the gang.
Site News There is a new contact email address: feelinglistless@btopenworld.com. Since I pay BT for the privilege of being my ISP I figured I might as well prevail upon their services. Plus the Hotmail account is just filled with adverts for porn. I’m assume the continual usage of the phrase ‘wet pussy’ isn’t a plea for help from the Drowning Cat Lovers Society. Go on email now and say Hi! so that I can check it's working properly...
Museums When British museums and art galleries were given a lifeline so that they could open their doors from free, visitor figures soared. Now we have the catch:

”The Treasury is introducing a new “resource budgeting” system to ensure that government departments and funded-bodies make efficient use of their assets. From the financial year 2003-4, a capital charge (effectively a tax) of 6% will be levied on assets. Institutions such as national museums will initially receive additional grant in aid from DCMS to cover this, so in the first year it will represent a paper transaction. But from then on, increases in capital charges will have to be met by individual museums unless they succeed in negotiating additional grant in aid.”

Which in effect means that without charging, museums are going to find a shortfall in their yearly budget. He giveth with one hand a screws you over with the other.
Antiques "Mogwai not for sale at any price..." The most frustrating moment in a flea market or antiques shop is find the perfect piece and finding out the owner isn't willing to accept money for it: "For lovers of modern Italian pottery, works by Guido Gambone are highly sought after. Geoffrey Hatty, of Twentieth Century Design in Prahran, wouldn't dream of parting with his Gambone vase, although the form and colours are far from mainstream. His vase, which remains on display only, features an elongated spout that shoots off to one side to form a handle. "Some people have told me it looks like a urinal that you would find in a hospital. With its rough finish, others have said their two-year-old could do better," Hatty says."

Film Gosford Park is a Robert Altman film. It says so on the poster and in the opening credits. But its more particular than that – you can tell it is all of the way through. Big well known cast (check!). Multiple almost storylines (check!). Overlapping dialogue (check!). The main plot is beside the point (check!). The premise is so simple it’s a surprise no one else has given it a try. Take all of the characters who typically appear in an Agatha Christie novel. Give them the motivations you would expect, but play them for real, whilst commenting on how artificial the divide between those upstairs and those downstairs really is. Welcome back to the kinds of films we love that you make Bob. See it now.

That said, a couple of reservations. Some of the younger actors from above stairs fail to make an impact which slightly unbalances the cast. The plot becomes slightly too linear and conventional towards the end. When sometimes don’t see the scenes we really need to or want to see (a typical Altman trick – ‘The Long Goodbye’ also succeeded in casting out anything to do with the investigation). Laura Fraser isn’t in it. ‘Captain Peacock’ from ‘Are you being Served’ isn’t in it enough. But all of this is picking nits. That this film ever got made is a joyous miracle.
Site News I'm not entirely sure whether the real time blogging experiment really worked the other night. As always your opinions are welcomed ....
Film Monsters Inc is an exceedingly frustrating film. Technically, as you’d expect from PIXAR it’s superb – it’s distinctly unnerving to see fur looking so realistic. But on this occasion things feel slightly forced. There always seemed to a breezy effortlessness to the Toy Story films. The effects flourishes were there but somehow subservient to a story with some depth, with layers, which work for adults and children – and an unpredictability which meant we genuinely didn’t know how each story would end (did any really suspect Stinky Pete?). Here the story is too linear. We know from the minute Boo enters the Monsters world that she’s eventually melt the hearts of all around. More than ever this feels like a Disney film – if this had been Toy Story, the film would have ended with little really changed – instead we have the requisite happy ending.

More fatally perhaps we don’t really get to know this world. Like Shrek, a potentially fascinating world is partially introduced and then almost forgotten about. How did this place come into being? Why are all the Monsters different? Interspecies romance – how does that work really? (and I only bring it up because they do) In something which is otherwise seemingly complex the over simplification of the basic elements creates a hollow feeling. So as something which is y’know for kids – it’s great. But I suppose looking at the other films I was expecting something more.
Blog! The sister weblog is TrueFacts. Here Daniel gets to grips with Indian Loos: "Above all, using a squat toilet is like climbing a mountain: lose your footing and you are in serious trouble [I can honstly say that since using the squat toilet I am now much more in touch with my own arse]."
Blog! Sometimes you just have to link. Daniel Byron is works as project visitor and he's "staying in a village in rural northern India " His weblog, NoWayJose is fragmentary work, but says more about working abroad than a hundred TV documentaries: "Things that aren't as exotic as people think (1): Again, in the countryside, one of my guides beckoned me follow him to a field. Here he pulled a stalk from the crop and proudly said: "This is wheat. It is used to make bread." He seemed quite disappointed when I told him we had tons of the stuff in England."
Travel Went to Birmingham today with Fani, and although I didn’t experience the moments of clarity I've found there on previous trips, I did bump into the world’s soberest woman. We’d forced our way through the weather up to the Art Gallery. As we bounced up the steps, a gust of wind opened the front doors clear open and we walked through. Seeing the guard lady, who I thought looked a bit depressed, I said, looking backwards:
”I see you’ve installed automatic doors.”
To which she retorted:
”No, not at all. Those doors are not automatic. There are no automatic doors here or throughout the building.”
That’ll teach me to be a wiseass…
I'll end here with Stephen Fry's final comment -- 'Enough of this wank. Let's party!'
Mulholland Drive wins something. Best Sound and Best Music go to Moulin Rouge (their only awards tonight?) Rings wins best visual effects.
Awards also presented tonight ... I hate it when they do this -- and it feels wrong stuck on the end here ...
Great final note from Fry about the importance of film in this god-forsaken world.
Oh he's gone ...
But then that would have meant we'd 'ave missed the sheer joy that is the acceptance speech. I could free associate about it for ages. And I haven't had too much caffeine ...
But isn't it a bit late for this? After all his last film was 'Town & Country' ...
Never been much of a fan to be honest. I was always a Robert Redford man. Although I did like 'Bonnie and Clyde'.
And finally, The BAFTA Fellowship. Is this Warren Beatty?
Pretty the actual acceptance was a damp squib...
'THE LORD OF THE RINGS: FELLOWSHIP OF THE RINGS'
The BAFTA goes to ....
But not too wierd...
I don't know -- it's been such a wierd night ...
And now, Best Film. Pesented by Kietel? Well OK then...
The BAFTA goes to Judi Dench. Thank goodness. She's genuinely touched (although she hasn't run on stage). Where would we be without her?
Another open category. Although I could Zellwegger pinch it ...
Best Actress Or Dustin Hoffman loses it ... I think we are actually under running here ... ooh look, it's Judi Dench again ...
Peter Jackson wins! And I'd run on stage and hug Kate like that if I was him as well. He's going... he's going ... he's thanked his parents ... his family ... the plot as they say is thickening ...
I''ll be happy for any of these to win. Yes, even Ron Howard. I loed Apollo 13, The Paper and Far and Away, after all.
Best Director Some one should give an award to Kate Winslet for just existing.
And the winner is ... Russell Crowe -- not too surprising ... it would be nice if he seemed a bit more surprised. Anthony Rapp's in this? Anthony Rapp from 'Adventure's in Babysitting' and 'Dazed and Confused' I might bother to see this now ...
Best Actor Go on let it be McKellen ... more actors should be winning things for not playing human beings ...
It's The Rings. The Rings... thank god for that. Robbie Coltrane doesn't look happy. In fact there doesn't seem to be that much joy in the audience. Peter Jackson -- if ever there was someone who doesn't fit the current film maker profile. Must be wierd accepting an award for a film you're still finishing ...
Thank god it's not Shrek...
The winner is ... oh sorry Jamie Bell has to thank his mum and brown nose Russell Crowe...
Only a 100,000 votes. Is that all?
Orange Film of the Year Go on -- give it to Harry bloody Potter...
Chuck Jones is dead. I didn't know that ... damn.
James Bond wins special award. I must get around to seeing my DVD of 'Live and Let Die'. One of these days I'll get around to writing that thesis about how all series seem to go off the boil then end on a high when the creators remember why they started work in the first place. Ha -- Walken in a blonde wig.
'A Beautiful Mind' I still think it was a missed opportunity not having Russell Crowe sitting down for a night of 'Revenge of the Cybermen' in a Tom Baker scarf. Very trepidatious about seeing this thing. But it does have Connelly in it. But it's another bloody Ron Howard film. I'm so conflicted. Email me if you think it's actually worth seeing.
And the winner is ... 'Jump Tomorrow'. I think it was probably giving those two an award to have them on stage. They're acting like one of the couples from 'When Harry Met Sally'. Never has so much coffee culture stood in one place.
It'd be nice if 'Late Night Shopping' winds this -- it was a highly entertaining but overlooked film.
Carl Forman Award for Special Acheivement Sting's wife is honey. Not unexpected, perhaps.
And the winner is ... Amoros Perres. The audience whooping again. What kind of a night is this? He's right we don't expect a film like this to win this catagory. He's even more cut up than Jennifer Connolly was. Lovely.
The fact I haven't seen most of these proves how awful distribution is in this country. Oh 'Amelie' is up ... but I think Monssom Wedding's a more likely choice ...
Foreign Language Film Is Amelie up for this?
'Lord of the Rings' I feel the need to see this again. I'm having a cinema day tomorrow -- this is tempting ...
Those Cheetah skin seat cover are really beginning to irritate me. Why? It's odd seeing so many actors who should really be in more films, like Anna Friel.
I sudden;y feel the need to go and watch lot's of costume dramas. (looks at shelf) Only got Titanic to hand. Bugger.
Fellowship Goes to Merchant Ivory. What is Helena on tonight? She's suddenly turned into Michael Barrymoore at the Comedy Awards. This is the sort of thing which happens when you let someone make things up as they go along. Is Vanessa Redgrave pissed? The last time I saw someone that boss eyed was in the pub the other night....
'Amelie' . Bloody hell, this is going to be one of those evenings....
Best Original Screenplay Gosford Park will probably be a shoo-in. Another one for 'Moulin Rouge'?
And the winner is ... Shrek!?! What the f**k? This does not look good (see above for my comments on this thing). The original was basically a picture book -- they pretty much wrote the thing from the top up -- when does adaptation stop and original writing begin?
Best Adapted Screenplay Come on the Rings has got to win this one ...
'Amelie' again another lush, lovely film. Don't think it's going to win, but it's nice to see it acknowledged. But you after to wonder how mnay other, equally lovely films are made in France that we just don't get to see because all the multi-plexes will show is teen movie dreck.
Ladies and Gentlemen, Sir John Mills.
Why do they keep cutting back to Russell Crowe ... do we need to see that bad hair so much?
Mike Balkon Award Richard Attenborough presenting. Dicky has always been good at long annecdotes and tonight is no exception. The awrd is going to Vic Armstrong, the Stunt Co-ordinator who has worked on a thousand and one films. Indiana Jones and Krull. Some career. His commentary on the 'Tomorrow Never Dies' DVD is fabulously educational.
And the winner is ... Jim Broadbent. Yes! Who seems to have been every other film up for an award tonight. No real idea of who the big winner will be tonight. Early days ...
Best Supporting Actor Another open catagory. My mind says Bonneville. My heart says Broadbent. Colin Firth's perormance wasn't really anything we hadn't seen before.
I'm sorry ... I still contend that 'Shrek' isn't that great a film. Visually, yes it's quite exciting. But the story drags badly in the middle and there are so many other film references in there which are going to date it badly.
And the winner is ... 'The Man Who Wasn't There ...' Excellent. I always liked the look of this film. It took the style of the 40s and gave it a contemporary spin. Guy we don't know excepts on behalf of a man we've never hear of.
Cinematography Rings ... rings ... rings ...
And the winner is ... Jennifer Connelly! Really? She looks visibly shaken. She has no idea what to say. She's crying bless her. I've been watching in things since 'The Rocketeer' ... this is a great thing ...
It's wierd seeing Jennifer Connelly up for awards like this.
Best Supporting Actress Will Judie Dench win just for being Judie Dench?
So on with the best picture package .. Moulin Rouge ... wouldn't be too disappointed to see this win ... looking forward to the DVD ... on reflection it's been some time since there's been something this rich and romantic. Where does Baz Luhrmann go after this?
Not unexpected with that sort of cast and pedegree. Hey, isn't that the guy from 'Close Encounters'?
Alex Korda Award Best British Film goes to ... Gosford Park
Kate Winslet looks genuinely nervous ... odd ...
Steven Fry seems like a good choice for compare -- who's writing the script? Whoop from the audience. Whoop from me.
Good to see everyone turning up for this at least ... my god it's Dustin Hoffman --
Soundbites with the actors -- not really saying much -- is this live? I thought this was live.
Bizarre purple opening titles which looks like an advert for a fashion magazine ... attempt to make it look like oscars by having a red carpet. Might have worked if it wasn't for the rain. What is it with the swinging drum music?
Clips of the films. Who's that doing the voice over?
Trailer for Rescue Me -- or what is Sally Phillips had played Bridget Jones. Could be quite good. Oooh here we go ...
I've a feeling good typing skill will be going out of the window .. apologies now for any keystroke madness.
Three minutes to go. Wildlife on One begins to drag.
On The Fly The Film BAFTA's 2002
Some tredipation as I begin my first experiment in real time Blogging. In about twenty minutes I'll be commentating on tonight's ceremony. Keep refreshing for new comments (F5 if you're using IE5+). I'm expecting two things. One that in a movie which sure to alienate half the population, 'Lord of the Rings' with fail to win best picture. Two that the thing will overun like mad. This is going to be fun...