"Put on your suit and tie, put on that killer smile."
Welcome to the Jungle.
Barbenheimer logistics.
Life Usually I'm not one to not avoid taking part in a collective meme, but having an excuse to see two films by a pair of our greatest filmmakers isn't something to not be embraced. Spending the day at the cinema was something I used to do a lot but as the cost of tickets rose, even for day showings, and the variety of films at multiplexes reduced, I got out of the habit. Having had too many bad audience and/or projection experiences, I just stopped going to the cinema except for spoiler-sensitive franchise features.
Lately, my cinemas of choice have been the Vue in Birkenhead, Picturehouse at FACT and the Cineworld in Speke. My calculation for where to see a film is usually based on screen size and price and although the largest screen at FACT is big enough, I've been travelling out to Cineworld when a new release has been relegated to the smaller screens, which also has the benefit of being pretty quiet during the day, especially in the morning. The downside is it's also pretty expensive even during the day, and I have free member tickets for the cinema on Wood Street.
For Barbenheimer, I immediately looked at the logistics for Cineworld and sure enough they were very good, especially for Monday - 10:30am for Barbie (10:50 after adverts) then a 13:15 for Oppenheimer (more like 13:30) - so plenty for time for a sandwich in the middle. But the price - £9.99 (during the day) still feels steep to someone who used to see three movies for that price at the Showcase on the East Lancs Road (admittedly when he used to have a student card). I'd have to nibble the fission bomb if I wanted to take part in a cultural moment (TM) which already has a thoroughly referenced Wikipedia page.
Then I took a step back, a longer look at the Cineworld website, did some sums and signed up for one of their Unlimited cards. £16.99 a month for a minimum of three months and as they say for the price of less than two tickets. I quicky booked for Monday and last Thursday to sneak in a showing of M:I Dead Reckoning Part One, something which would otherwise have waited until the BD or streaming upload which ever was the quickest. It is a film which should be seen on a big screen, although I don't know that it needs to be that long (unlike Oppenheimer).
Of course, £16.99 per month is incredible value if you plan to see everything which turns up at the multiplex in comparison to the price of a single ticket and much quicker than a home release which you won't see in nearly the quality of presentation (which has so far been excellent at this particular place). But unlike streaming services which charge a lot less than this, it has a much smaller selection of films available in a geographically less convenient place than a chair in the house in front of a screen (or as has been the case here for about six months a projection on a wall).
But what this means I have to take advantage of the offer, I need to visit the cinema more and so at least once a week for the foreseeable, I'll be travelling out to my original home of Speke to see one or two films (maybe three), which makes it a homecoming in numerous ways. Next week I have Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny pencilled in (which would be good to see before it disappears from cinemas) and perhaps the film about the actually teenaged mutant ninja turtles. Not everything will be good but it'll be fun not having to wait three months to see what everyone has been talking about.
The Queen is dead. Long live the King.
Life A little after half past six this evening, the palace announced the death of Queen Elizabeth II. We heard it via Huw Edwards, who's anchoring of the rolling speculation coverage since the original announcement about her health at lunch time and was becoming noticeably strained. Moments before, he seemed to stumble over his words as the transmission editor cut from a shot of the gates to Balmoral to the flag flying at half mast over Buckingham Palace. "And of course we are expecting the news from Balmoral that she's having treatment or that they're unable to help her majesty any more." Then seconds later, "A few moments ago, Buckingham Palace announced the death of Queen Elizabeth II."
It's not unexpected, but it's also still a shock. She's been the head of state for my entire life and my parent's lives, my Mum was 75 when she left us, my Dad is nearly 80. However much you might think the royals have nothing to do with you, the shift from having a queen to king will have impact from the cash in your pocket having a new face printed on it to such events as the state opening of parliament just having a different energy. We going to have to get used to using a different pronoun for our head of state. The lyrics to our national anthem have changed. There's also the historic moment of the country having a change in monarch and prime minister in the same week.
The one occasion when I shared space with the Queen was at school. I sang for the Queen on the occasion of her fortieth year as monarch. It was in my sixth form at Blue Coat School and someone decided it would be good idea to fill the Anglican Cathedral with school kids and have them sing Handel's Zadok very loudly, whilst oddly other kids offered a martial arts demonstration. We practiced solidly for two weeks, frequently after school and on the day the big church looked a treat, and even though we had all rehearsed separately, the collective sound was suitably epic. Even the anti-royalists amongst us were excited about meeting her majesty. But she was clearly having a very busy day and didn’t have time to stop and listen, passing by on her way to the altar.
Here, then, we greet King Charles III. I think it's fair to say the nation thinks of him less warmly, especially post-Diana. It'll be up to him to navigate the future of the monarchy, an institution which has certainly taken a knock due to numerous scandals over the past few years. But now that Elizabeth has gone, it's sure to enter an even more troubled era in which the pomp and circumstance looks even more antiquated, the sheer cost increasingly unjustifiable outside of the upkeep of the houses. But I do think it'll survive even him in some form and honestly good. The monarchy has provided continuity for a thousand years and do we really want to be the generation to ruin it? Don't answer that ...
Life The Commodore 64 at 40: back to the future of video games is a short love letter by The Guardian's Keith Stewart to the second computer I owned. Outside of school, it's practically all I did in my teenage years even if I was never very good at playing games and usually ended up resorting to the Action Replay.
Why are all streaming services rubbish?
Film Like most film fans, I'm subscribed to a lot of streaming services and in terms of the television versions of their apps, they're all an absolute mess to use. With each utilising a different interface, most are more interested in pushing new content than making it easy to get back to the films and television we've already been enjoying. Watchlists are often hidden away or take several clicks. The iPlayer's the absolute worst example with its "your added programmes" section at the very bottom of the page.
Much of this has to do with a lack of standardisation between the apps. When streaming was first introduced, for the most part, the app producers had to the follow a template which was baked into the technology. So on my first "smart" DVD player, the Amazon and Netflix apps worked pretty much identically. But with more powerful technology, that's no longer the case and that freedom has come with a usability cost. The user has to learn how to use each streaming service separately which as I found with my elderly parents creates a barrier between the user and the content.
Hypercritical suggests here a standard spec for streaming apps to adhere to and it all seems eminently sensible.
"There must be a way for the user to manually create a list of media. In the common case, this is a list of media that the user intends to watch (eventually), but it can be used for any purpose. The important part is that the user makes the list intentionally. Nothing gets added to this list automatically."At a minimum, the list must accept top-level items in the hierarchy (e.g., TV shows, movies). The list could also accept more granular items, like individual TV episodes." [via]
My solution has been to largely abandon smart apps altogether. Instead, I have my TV set up as the third screen on my PC with a very long HDMI cable around the room to the television with the mouse positioned within hands length of the armchair. Many streaming services have Windows apps and although they're somewhat like their TV counterparts, are much easier to navigate with a mouse and keyboard. Plus it allows access to streaming services which don't yet have a workable tv app and remain stubbornly in the browser.
As for watchlists, my LetterBoxd Pro subscription allows me to tell it the services to which I'm subscribed and the free streamers which means I can have a unified list of films things I'd like to see which acts as a kind of off-site (honestly ITV Player and 4od are significantly less shit in a browser). The list can also be sorted chronologically by release date and date added, filtered by decade or genre and shuffled so that if you have a list as long as mine, some of the more unusual stuff will surface.
I'm Such An Idiom.
Life Waiting for the moment to put the tea in the oven, I was just idly ego-googling and discovered, thanks to the magic of Google Books, that I'm quoted in the latest edition of the Oxford Dictionary of Idioms! Huh?
Both quotes are from this blog post in 2013 in which I talk about my hernia operation (the book gives a publication date of 2014).
The first quote is for "cross your fingers" and is on the same page as an example taken from The Bible (Matthew's gospel).
The second quote illustrates "the end of the world" which given recent events (my Mum recently died which is why I haven't really felt like being here) is especially relevant. Sometimes it does look like it could be ...
This Blog's 20th Birthday.
About It has been twenty years since I began posting here and to celebrate I asked Annette, who interviewed me for the fifth, tenth and fifteen birthday to return to talk about another five. Luckily, it was an offer she didn't refuse ...
Congrats on 20 years of this blog! Twenty years is a long time in person years, but in Internet years, that’s about – I don’t know, 10,000? For some perspective, feeling listless was launched before Twitter, Facebook or Gmail, and has existed for nearly 2/3 of the time the World Wide Web itself has been around. The manner in which the blog has remained fresh, engaging and much beloved during that entire time is truly remarkable.
Thanks very much!
The last time I did an anniversary interview (5 years ago), I remember thinking how much the world had changed in the previous five years, as far as some of the changes in entertainment, social media and technology. But this time - well, it feels like we live in a different world entirely from five years ago, doesn’t it? In July 2016, we were right on the cusp of it - the Brexit vote had just happened, true, but I still took it for granted that Hillary Clinton would be the next U.S. president, and a global pandemic seemed a very far off possibility, at least in my mind. The experiences of the past five years have been scarring, to say the least. What have these events meant to you personally?
Everything and nothing. The last five years have been pretty rough for other reasons so to an extent I’ve felt a bit like the protagonist of a renaissance painting in which these world changing events have been happening in the background, whilst in the foreground life changing events happened too. No I will not talk about it on here, sorry, no great revelations. But what it all has taught me is you cannot become to settled in anything, the life is constantly in flux and you can’t unfortunately take anything for granted. No one can.
I think I’ve said this before, but in the late 90s, my night school journalism teacher said that you have to remember that it doesn’t really matter who’s in charge, that sometimes you’re ok, sometimes not and it all balances out. I wonder how he feels about that now, keeping in mind we were knee deep in New Labour at the time, Bill Clinton was in the White House and people still bought video cassettes in shops. It’s very easy to say such things when you’re personally enjoying a moment of relative comfort.
Since 2016 (remember when the joke was about how awful that year was?) I’ve been trying to work out when the world felt most secure, when you could sit in front of the news and it didn’t feel like a social, health and climate apocalypse wasn’t happening around us and after trying out a few years it became apparent that actually, never. The turn of the millennium, perhaps, but that’s from a very insular viewpoint. The many wars across the world were still going strong, combatants and civilians dying, so many in fact, the Wikipedia has a list!
So really what my journalism teacher should have been saying is that the world exists in a constant state of catastrophe and most of the time it won’t affect you personally and sometimes it will and that you only really need to worry about it in the latter case and even then only when there’s something you personally can or have to do about it. If that includes being an ally too when needed, so be it. Sorry, does that answer your question?
Oh, yes. Not the answer I expected but your night school teacher had it right, I think. However, I think the pandemic, compared to other types of events, did end up affecting most of us personally, altering our daily routines and even our life trajectories.
Exactly. The problem is, whisper, we’re doing all of this to ourselves and have done for centuries, global catastrophes which are either a direct or indirect result of humanity’s choices and some of us so busy creating new problems and constantly finding ways to divide ourselves as a society that everything important to our survival gets kicked further along the generational guide.
Are you optimistic about the post-pandemic world?
On the basis of the previous answer, you’ll expect me to say no and unfortunately you’ll be right, but simply because I don’t know if there will be a post-pandemic world yet. Vaccinate as much of the first world as you like but until the entire population of the world has had the privilege, we’re still at risk. Plus it’s all contingent on mostly liberal parties remaining in power in the largest liberal democracies and we can’t be certain Biden will win again in 2024, or indeed still have some control over the House and Senate after the mid-terms.
In the UK, it’s the NHS which is saving us although the government is doing everything it can to make it harder. We only had to wait another couple of weeks for the vaccination process to make real progress, but the Tories decided it was too long and now the virus is raging again, albeit without as many deaths and hospitalisations. Sorry, this supposed to be celebratory but there’s a long road ahead with so many nexus points that it’s difficult to see past it, not least because we’ve gone from a ridiculous Health minister to a genuinely scary autocrat.
Point taken - the pandemic is far from over. Covid-19 will be with us for a long while, especially in parts of the world where vaccines aren’t readily available.
It’s scary. I get why people are desperate to find some sense of normality. They’re tired. I’m tired for all the same reasons. Eighteen months ago life became an ARG with very real consequences.
Moving on to other subjects, what have been your favorite blog projects in the past five years?
The biggest and probably the most challenging was My Favourite Film of, which ended up being over a hundred weekly posts across two years, the notion being that when I finished, you’d be able to read them in chronological order via the tag, my personal history of film. I purposefully made it difficult for myself at the start by deciding not to repeat directors and also not to simply post straight reviews but to talk around the film most often without going back and watching whatever it was again. Fortunately, there were a few guest bloggers along the way.
It developed from the Who 50 project from earlier in the decade when I posted a weekly non-review of a Doctor Who story, the difference being that I didn’t fill in the time between with tangentially related links, partly because the entries themselves were already pretty time consuming. I had a spreadsheet set up with deadlines for when each film’s entry had to be written by which at least meant I could plan ahead. At some points I had posts written months in advance.
You can see when I was getting pretty desperate, especially towards the end or as it looks now, the beginning, posting almost all the essays I wrote at film school, applying the Hays Code to Deadpool in the entry about Mata Hari or quite obviously chose a film because I had something to write about it rather than because it was necessarily my favourite. But parts of it really hold up and as with all of these blogging projects, it forced me to write something. I’m not sure I’d have the energy to write all of that now. Ahem.
I remember that project and being puzzled by the entries from the early years of film. Favorite film of 1897? But good for you for following through all the way to the end!
The projects which work best seem to have a definite ending either a time period or a number, a final end. It’s open ended ones which tend to peter out.
Here’s something I’ve been wanting to know for awhile - what is the 231163 Diaries project?
Doctor Who was first broadcast in the UK on the 23rd November 1963 and the idea was to see if I could find a diary entry in which the writer mentions watching that first episode (credit to Graham Kibble-White for the name). But inevitably because the Kennedy Assassination happened the day before, for the most part it became a record of how various individuals experienced that moment either because they were actually in the room or simply heard about it second hand. Of all the projects, that’s the one I’m going to try to return to once libraries are properly accessible again. That and Soup Safari.
Oh, that’s interesting - I somehow missed the Doctor Who connection, but there were some interesting historical artifacts in that series. I’d be glad to see Soup Safari return, but what about The Coffee Collection?
Wait and see.
Are there any older blog projects that you want to resurrect in the future?
All of the open ended ones are still ongoing, I suppose. There are a few Hamlets to catch up on and I’m a bit behind on the Eighth Doctor (Who) content. Who 50’ll become Who 60 in a couple of years. Sometimes the projects are all that’s left, but I’ll keep going no matter how unmotivated I am sometimes. I don’t believe in announcing the closure of a blog. It’s too final and this place has always ebbed and flowed in relation to content. I’m sure I’ll always have something to write.
Life Props, maybe? I also hope you’ll continue with Public Art Collections in North.West England.
Well, I mean that’s done, I’ve visited all of the galleries and museums in the book. I have thought about expanding out and using the Art UK website as a guide but again, it feels a bit open ended. I like having things to tick off. Like the walking around the Merseyrail network I’m doing now. Finite number of stations.
I’m assuming you don’t have people tell you this too often – but I really enjoy the links that you post on the blog. I think the Christmas links are absolutely perfect, because they come at a time when I might have some actual downtime and are, for the most part, entertaining short reads. How do you pick what links you will post? Do you spend a lot of time considering them or just post things that you personally find interesting?
Somewhere in the past decade, the blog pretty much settled into a few grand themes, Doctor Who, Shakespeare, film and the Sugababes and so for the most part I’ve sticking to those lately, but really it is just stuff which interests me or I have something to say about beyond anything I can fit into a tweet. I used to be quite diligent about working through news sites searching for things to post the whole year around but with the content hosepipe that exists now, who has the time to read everything and then decide what to post.
The Christmas Links used to just be a way to keep the blog ticking over during the holiday period but now they’ve become part of my own personal seasonal tradition because it’s the one time of the year when I do read a lot and the whole thing makes me feel more festive. I usually have a search column going in Tweetdeck for verified tweets mentioning various keywords and there are some outlets I end up posting from every day. I’d like to claim credit for the idea but a few of the classic UK bloggers used to something similar back in the day.
What are your go-to streaming services as of late?
As of right now I’m subscribed to Netflix, NowTV, Amazon Prime, MUBI, Disney+ and Britbox, with YouTube and the BBC iPlayer the free services at the top of my Roku list. This changes depending on whether Amazon’s channels section has a £1 a month offer on, as they did recently with BFI Player. On top of that, I’m also still with Cinema Paradiso’s discs by post.
Do you have The Criterion Channel in the UK?
Oh if only. There are a lot of Criterion films on Kanopy, the library connected service and plenty of the others are scattered across the BFI Player and MUBI. But none of the special features are obviously included. I’ve started a small collection of the DVDs, mostly the early releases when they turn up cheaply on eBay.
Do you find the world of streaming services as cluttered and confusing as I do?
Yes! So many of the films which would previously have gone through the theatrical to home release to streaming release window structure are skipping at least one of both of the first two that as a film fan you have to be subscribed to everything otherwise you’re likely going to miss even Oscar nominated films. Of the list, I only pay for Netflix and NowTV on a monthly basis. The rest are annual lump sums or (believe it or not) a job perk. But it still hurts especially since a lot of films are now only being released in the home on DVD so the only way to watch them in HD is through a streaming service.
Nice job perks!
As I suggested earlier in the month, the ideal scenario would be for film companies to follow their music arms and simply license their back catalogue to whole companies who then reimburse them on a watch-by-watch basis somehow. Even with the help of something like JustWatch, you can spend a lot of time trying to keep up with when films are going to be available and which service and then deciding whether it’s worth paying for a month’s subscription to see a film which will likely disappear back into the archives again soon.
So Spotify for films, I suppose?
Yes. I mean rental streaming services are close to this, almost everything is available to rent on Amazon and elsewhere at various price points like a giant digital Blockbuster, but the subscription model is the barrier. It is strange that £10 a month seems reasonable for access to almost all music ever but there’s no way movie companies are going to license their entire back catalogue to a Spotifilm and expect a return for a similar charge. The key problem is, I suppose, that people listen to their favourite albums over and over again, sometimes in the same day, but will rewatch films far less frequently if at all.
Post-pandemic, do you think it will become common practice for the major studios to release their films on streaming services instead of in theatres? If so, what do you think the long-term effects will be?
Eventually, ultimately yes. In the independent sector, that transition had largely already happened in the UK, with Curzon Home Cinema, MUBI and BFI Player offering day and date releases of film which are also playing in the Picturehouse and independent chains with comparable charges. The pandemic has simply accelerated that and added a Hollywood dimension. I notice that Black Widow is being theatrically released two days before it hits Disney+ and I can see that model continuing.
The biggest change is how the studios envisage how these releases work. Back in 2016, Napster’s Sean Parker was touting the “Screening Room” in which consumers would buy a $150 proprietary streaming box and then pay $50 for each film for a night with $20 being handed over to a film chain in order to placate them for any potential loss in revenue. Despite all the names you’d expect being involved it didn’t ultimately go anywhere presumably because not a single element of it was designed with the consumer in mind.
Oh, I haven’t thought about Napster in many years! Now there was an idea ahead of its time.
What the pandemic demonstrated is you really don’t need to do any of that, you can quite comfortably rent day and date releases through ordinary streaming apps or else include them as part of the monthly rental package. For the larger film studios, the former scenario will be most likely and we really don’t know the numbers on how much was made through pay-per-stream during the pandemic. As someone who finds the process of going to the cinema increasingly intimidating, being able to rent and watch Wonder Woman 84 or Cruella at home was a joy.
Besides the pandemic, the film industry has gone through a lot of other changes in the past five years. We touched on that a bit in the last interview. You had said, “But more often than not, I’m seeing actresses which elsewhere have been stuck in supporting roles finally being given the opportunity to carry a film and doing it superbly.” In the wake of the #metoo movement it seems like women are finally getting more of these opportunities. Do you think this is a short-lived reaction or has Hollywood really evolved?
Who knows, but I think the important change is the number of women who’re in charge of independent production companies who crucially give opportunities to other women to create projects that have previously been ignored by the major and minor studios. Even on occasions when women were studio heads, the otherwise patriarchal nature of the structure of the studios meant their success didn’t trickle down.
There are far more women directors and writers working across the industry, even on projects which might previously have been immediately given to men and across a number of genres and on prominent series. There are episodes of both Star Wars and Marvel series which are both written and directed by women and risks are being taken. Chloe Zhao directed The Eternals before Nomadland.
Yes, that’s promising for the future of film. There needs to be change on the systemic level. At least we are seeing a few steps in that direction.
Except this is from someone who habitually seeks out female led productions and I’ve no clue how difficult it still is to get these opportunities especially if you don’t already have a profile, especially for people of colour or who’re LGBTQ+. But it feels like something is changing. If #metoo did anything, it brought women together in the room to have conversations about how to make things better.
Is there a film or series you watched recently that you can’t stop thinking about?
Given the number of films I watch, that’s a huge question, but it’s probably Emma Seligman’s Shiva Baby about a college student who returns home to attend the shiva for someone she barely knew and comes face to face with the man she’s having an affair with, and his family. Most of the film takes place at the gathering and the lead actress Rachel Sennott is in shot through most of it.
What’s stayed with me is the way Seligman and her DP Maria Rusche are able to create such a claustrophobic, tense atmosphere as Sennott’s character navigates the crowd, having to deal with pushy relatives who don’t understand her “lifestyle choices” (she’s bi) and already have her future mapped out in their heads. It’s a total cringathon and I loved it.
That does sound intriguing. Cringeable scenes in film have a similar impact on me as well. It seems I can remember them years later.
Are there any sites you visited in London that really exceeded your expectations? Have there been any that you thought would be amazing but found disappointing?
London is an addiction and I can honestly say there hasn’t really been anywhere which has disappointed me. Just the fact of being able to lay on the floor of St Paul’s Cathedral looking at the domed ceiling, finally seeing John Harrison’s Longitude clocks, climbing to the top of Monument, sitting on the stage of the Sam Wannamaker theatre at the Globe and walking all of the sites of Shakespeare’s theatres, spending so much time in the National Gallery or all of the galleries. So many memories and I can’t wait to go back.
Wow, that’s great!
But if there was one venue which disappointed it was the Science Museum. It feels dated, all of the various historical objects collected together in a massive hall lacking context or organisation. Perhaps it’s the overwhelming number of famous items making it difficult to focus on a particular thing, but it feels like there’s a real story of how science and technology developed and when I visited it didn’t feel like that was being told.
What are the tweets that repeat daily on your Twitter account? Why?
Some are reminders, some are protests, some are comforts. I noticed that people don’t always know how to filter their tweets to remove harassment and spam so I have an explainer each day. Plus people don’t know that they can switch back to old Twitter so that seemed important too.
The daily Norah Jones video began as a Trump protest but now serves as a moan against the Tories. It was originally about Bush but the themes still work. A Song For The Unification Of Europe began as soon as the Brexit referendum was announced and will remain until the UK is back in the EU, however long that takes.
I’ve been told the 6am reminder to not Panic and the Love Actually tweet have both become a comfort to some people, become part of their routine, and mine too which is why they’re staying. Plus every now and then I get a new follower and it’s important that they know my feelings about the worst film ever made.
Yeah, it’s funny how often those show up in my Twitter feed.
Every day, sorry.
Don’t apologize - I also find comfort in the repetition.
It seems like you have been posting more book reviews on the blog recently. Is this because you are reading more books or just posting about them more often?
Bit of both. The few from this year are Doctor Who and Shakespeare which is very on-brand, the latter because I’m back on the Arden Shakespeare review list but rather than being sent everything, I’m able to pick and choose what I’m interested in. At the moment I’m working through the Doctor Who TARGET novelisations and some random literature I’ve been wanting to catch up on.
Of all the books you’ve reviewed, is there one that stands out in your mind to recommend?
Listen, I’ve mentioned this a few times before but Jonathan Morris’s Touched By An Angel, which was probably my favourite book of the past decade. There’s something about how it conjures a sense of place and richness of character while still being a Doctor Who book. Tie-in fiction is full of novels which are as literary as anything nominated for one of the big prizes but go unread by the wider population because of what’s printed on the cover.
What’s next for the blog?
God knows. Whilst researching the birthday posts, I’ve noticed how many bloggers over the years have published “final posts” in which they grandly talk about how they’ve enjoyed writing the blog but their interests lay elsewhere so they’ve decided to stop, blah blah blah, effectively cancelling themselves. But I can’t see that ever happening here. Even when Google finally pulls the plug on blogspot, I’ll take the archives somewhere else and carry on writing something at some time.
That’s great to know. Ha, I remember when Google purchased Pyra Labs (now I am really dating myself) and this many years later Blogger keeps chugging along. I even looked at the new user interface recently and couldn’t figure out what had changed, which I like! Who needs WordPress, anyway? You’d have quite a few posts to transfer - 12,493 as of July 10!
I’ve just downloaded a backup and it’s 54.7mb. That is a lot of text.
Congratulations again on this 20-year blog milestone. I remember reading this post and thinking how I have a similar way of winnowing down my digital reading list. Seventeen years after discovering feeling listless, it remains on my shortlist of favorites, even as I’ve relentlessly Marie Kondo-ed what I read online. This blog inspires joy, and I thank you for continuing with it and giving me and all of your other readers something to look forward to in every season.
Well, thank you for doing this again. You’ve always been a great supporter and one of the reasons I’m probably still posting here is because I know we have to do another interview in five years. See you for the 25th!
Sorry, but I just don't think the same way some of you do.
My reaction was the opposite. I've always thought internal monologues, in fiction, in books, comics and on screen, were a narrative affectation, a way of communicating information without having to produce tortured expositions scenes between characters who're already aware of the what's being talked about. Those thoughts which Spider-man could never communicate, even to Mary Jane.
But no, it turns out there are people in the world who's brains are constantly chattering, having a conversation with themselves about everything which is happening to them during the day. It's how they think things through, from what to have for breakfast in the morning, to solving maths problems to considering what's happening in a film while they're watching it. Often it manifests itself in the form of a conversation, especially if there's a choice to be made.
Which I honestly don't understand and can't imagine because I'm in the other crowd, the ones who don't have these internal conversations, don't have a voice in their head reading a book to them and even as I type these words, the first time I know what's going to be said is as I tap the keys. Since we seem to be in the minority, the key question we're asked it always, how do you think about, well, stuff.
To which I can only answer, we just do. After writing that mini-sentence, I paused before writing something else and then the right word just occurred to me and I began typing again. I can't explain how. It's a bit like having a talking to someone, knowing that the words are there and what I want to say and then my language skills make it happen. There's no real pattern to it, and I honestly can't describe how it works. It just does.
If I'm deciding what to eat, I just look through the freezer until I see something and then get it out to defrost, and this only becomes a conversation if its going to be a meal for more than myself in which case I'll talk to others. When I'm doing crosswords or sudoku, the answers are either there or not. When I'm watching a film, even if it's a mystery, I don't think about what's happening internally.
The closest I come to experiencing the internal monologue is when I talk to myself. Then I'll sometimes consider my way through something, like how the plot mechanics of a film are constructed, but out loud, commenting to the no one else who's in the room. Most often this is an explanation, "Dear God!" or something linguistically stronger. Or at the start of a film, I say what I think the ending will be out loud.
Honestly, I don't know how I'd cope if I had to listen myself chuntering from a sedentary intellectual position all the time, like a demented back bench MP. There are occasions after work, when I'm tired of hearing the sound of my own voice and I'm happy to just sit with my mouth closed letting the world, and more important my senses, do without the noise of my generic northern vowels and consonants.
In The City. Finally.
Joe Biden times a hundred.
Politics You may have noticed that despite everything which is happening in the world and my clumsy references to it, one name hasn't appeared. It still won't. I banned myself from using it and most often used various euphemisms in its place. The only occasions when it's crept through have been in link posts as part of pull quotes, this book review, quoting one of the Doctor's lines in this Who review and this post a week out from the inauguration in 2017 about what I thought his presidency would look like through the medium of Joni Mitchell's Big Yellow Taxi. I wasn't wrong about him, or that Vanessa Carlton looks like mid-70s Sarah Jane Smith in the promo for the Counting Crows version.
But it's a new, dawn, it's a new day and as John Legend sang at the Inauguration Concert last night, I'm feeling good and I have absolutely no problem talking about the new president Joe Biden. Joe Biden. Joe Biden. Joe Biden. Joe Biden. Joe Biden. Joe Biden. Joe Biden. Joe Biden. Joe Biden. Joe Biden. Joe Biden. Joe Biden. Joe Biden. Joe Biden. Joe Biden. Joe Biden. Joe Biden. Joe Biden. Joe Biden. Joe Biden. Joe Biden. Joe Biden. Joe Biden. Joe Biden. Joe Biden. Joe Biden. Joe Biden. Joe Biden. Joe Biden. Joe Biden. Joe Biden. Joe Biden. Joe Biden. Joe Biden. Joe Biden. Joe Biden. Joe Biden. Joe Biden. Joe Biden. Joe Biden. Joe Biden. Joe Biden. Joe Biden. Joe Biden. Joe Biden. Joe Biden. Joe Biden. Joe Biden.
Joe's first inclusion on this blog was back in 2008 as part of a link post where I actually wrote the pull test myself (the thought!) and how I couldn't remember his name during a pub quiz. I have absolutely no memory of that night or who I might have attended a pub quiz with. Unless it was some Twitter related event. Huh. Then his name wasn't mentioned until last August when Taylor endorsed him. Finally I used his surname a lot in the title to this post when he was declared winner and again pretty much predicted everything which has happened in the past three months including the Twitter ban (although that came sooner than I expected), not that I wasn't saying anything that cleverer people than me hadn't already.
None of which is to say that I'll be talking about US politics a whole lot more than I have, but it will be liberating to have the option when I want to, especially around Christmas time. Not to mention that because the Annoying Orange made flesh no longer consumes the oxygen of the Western world, more focus will inevitably fall on our own idiocy infestation in the UK and how their mismanagement means the number of COVID deaths in this country will be one quarter the US total by this time next week despite us having one fifth of the population and a much tinier, more controllable island. Not that I'll be talking about that much either. There's another name I haven't said on here since 2012.
Keep Your Distance.
Biden, Biden, Biden, Biden, Biden.
Life Here we are then. He's gone. Or will be in three months.
Having been watching CNN solidly for three days, of course the moment happened when I wasn't in the house for various reasons. As is so often the case these days the news came via a tweet, or rather a stream of tweets as various news organisations called the race, once Joe's lead in Pennsylvania reached over thirty thousand.
My expectation was that it would be an anti-climax after all of the waiting and the surety of the moment.
It was not. It was one of the happiest moments of my young life and I'm 46 now.
The past four years have been exhausting. Waking up each morning and glancing through twitter and discovering what this attention sponge has said or done overnight, his every move sucking the joy out of everything.
Listening to his voice. Seeing that face.
He won't be gone. Not yet. The prospect of the next three months are terrifying as he does all he can to burn the house down. He won't go quietly and given the number of votes he won either way, he won't be completely gone from culture.
His supporters will still be out in force, angry about the libtards stealing the presidency from him. Or at least they will until the next shiny moon of toxicity drifts into view.
But more importantly, mainstream news organisations just won't have a reason to cover everything he says. For the most part, once he's not POTUS he'll be shouting into a metaphorical void and then hopefully, eventually, solitary confinement with its literal emptiness.
Plus once he's not a head of state, Twitter will be in a position to ban him. Finally.
But, despite everything else happening in this shitty world, 2020 has given us something back.
Perhaps Brexit can be reversed too and we can finally put 2016 behind us.

