Quote! This.

[You've excuse the brief and low quality bloggage tonight due to some fatigue from getting up early this morning. Long story. As always. Go back and read the 'Adaptation' review again. It's a treat. So here we are already at the quote. Page 5 -- John Donne. Page 6 -- Debbie Gibson. She's thirty-two now. I feel even older. In this photo she looks like she's audition for tv series of 'The Matrix'.]
TV Wierdly, 'Dawson's Creek' is network jumping to Channel 5 in the UK for it's final season, but will still be on E4. I presume this is wrapped up in a general trend for Columbia/TriStar shows going over there. Also, it can't have been easy for the US producers to see what is over there a prime time show dribbling out at lunchtime on a Sunday for the past few years. Good to see they've also got the repeat rights for the far superior (and Kevin Williamson scripted) first season when subtext still occured and the film references were thought through a bit better ...
Film Because that's obviously a film which needs a remake. John Cusack takes on 'The Stepford Wives'.
Life I'm calling for the abolition of the weekend. Or rather that thing which forces us all to work Monday to Friday. Why should I be forced to take my days off at the same time as everyone else? As long as I fit in my thirty five hour week what does it matter when I take them? If I want to work three twelve hour shifts at the start of the week so that I can be at my leisure for the rest of the time ... or work Friday, Saturday, Sunday and get Monday to Thursday to myself. Or if I really want to work seven half days. Or two eighteen hours with five days to recover. Would the country really shut down? Surely there are enough of us in work to fill in the gaps?
Hamlet Or rather Hamlet II: The Revenge, in which some journalist rewrites the play, combining it with bits of personal ads:
"Hamlet: How all occasions do inform against me
And spur my Naked Fantasies!
Photography, strip poker, strip-search,
Prison guard, you name it!
Safe lean, straight-acting guy, 43,
Seeks similar male, 20s-40s. Sunnyvale. Ext. 3149
Sith I have cause, and will, and strength
To do’t. Examples gross as earth exhort me."
Is this guy for real?
Music Anything but ordinary. The Guardian interviews Avril Lavigne:"Her requirements for boyfriends are simple. "I need a guy who's sensitive," she says. "I need a guy with edge. And most importantly, a guy has to give me lots of attention and hug me all the time." She says that Losing Grip - her favourite song on Let Go - was inspired by a boyfriend who didn't value her enough. "Right now I feel invisible to you," goes one lyric. "I was this guy's girlfriend, and he didn't even treat me like it," she says. "If he sat there with his arm around me, it was just because I was his chick. It wasn't like [wrapping her arms around imaginary person], 'Oh, baby. I love you.'" The section in the piece about the writing credits on the album are particularly interesting ...
Buffy I'm a demon! I'm a demon on Buffy!

Same scene. The fighting continues in the main room as Anya confronts the demon.
ANYA: Tell me what you did with Xander. What are you?
DEMON: (deep demony voice) You did this. You brought this on. I've waited a long time for this, Anyanka.
ANYA: (tearful) Who are you?
DEMON: Remember Chicago? South Side, 1914?
Anya looks blank. The demon gets annoyed.
DEMON: Stuart Burns. Philanderer! You'd think you'd remember. I remember you. But then again, you ruined my life.
ANYA: You were a ... I punished you.
DEMON: That's right. Some hussy I'd been taking around summons you, next thing I know, I look like this and I'm being tortured in another dimension.
ANYA: I forgot.
DEMON: Well, I didn't ...
--- from 'Hell's Bells' Written by Rebecca Rand Kirshner, transcription by Joan the English Chick.

Not a nice fellow ... but what do you think are the chances? There really is something going on here ... I just need a bit more time to prove it ...
Film How the hell am I supposed to review 'Adaptation'. I've forgotten how wrote legibly. I read everything I've ever written and it's laced with typos, misspellings and misunderstanding. My dissertation had a spelling mistake on the title page. It's 11:30 at night and should be going to bed because I'm going to Manchester shopping tomorrow. My arms are cold because I forgot to turn the radiator in my room on before I went out to work this morning, and I really want to be answering the email I just got from a friend who has a problem, which she says she doesn't want an answer to but I feel compelled to write something. Now I've started a review of a film in which the screenwriter has egotistically or pretentiously written himself into by writing myself into the review, which is an obvious tactic and which has probably been used by at least one other reviewer somewhere. But I can't think of another way of writing about a film which is laced with so many inspirational and original moments but finally seems too self important for it's own good. I want to say that I enjoyed the experience, but I'm not sure that I enjoyed the thing to it's best advantage. Earlier in the evening I saw a Kazakstarni film about Abai, the poet brought up amongst hill farmers. That film started late and played to an audience of eight, including myself and two people I see on my bus every morning who also went to a see a Bollywood film at the Philharmonic Hall, a film they loved but which I was bemused by. But now I'm straying from the film I'm reviewing, but I want to let people know that if I didn't like the film it might have been because I was getting over watching this other film which didn't seem to make any narrative sense and might have benefited if the projectionist had shuffled some of the reels. Before the film, 'Adaptation' I mean not the other one, a multicultural group of people sat behind and were obsessing about the reclining seats. They reminded me of the cast of 'The Book Group'. I thought it would be cool if I could get a group of strangers or friends to get together once a month for a day to watch DVDs on themes and talk about them or whatever. Then the film starts, after the THX logo. The trouble is I now want to talk about the film and ask lots of questions, but this is the kind of film which works on reactions to things and is spoilt if you know what is going to happen before hand. But I'm not sure whether people like to read reviews to find out if a film is worth seeing or to aid their own impressions of the film. Because sometimes if I can't get to grips with a film I'll look at the Time Out Film Guide and it helps me to work out how I feel about it. I'm happy to see Meryl Streep who I always secretly fancied in her earlier work, but also in 'The River Wild'. Somewhere along the line I forgot that there was only one Nicolas Cage. About ten minutes into the film two guys come in in track suits and sit on my row, they have a pint of beer in a plastic cup. I think of Pulp Fiction. I realize that one of them is the one I met in the toilet after the first film who caught me talking to myself and wanted to know what I was talking about and decided when I told him that I didn't understand the film (the first one not 'Adaptation') and that it didn't make any sense that it was bollocks. And how after he had left I'd decided that I had enjoyed it after all because of the cinematography and how great that looked in the unusually square frame. I've noticed that earlier on in in the review I put to 'in' words together, like my fingers are stuttering on the keyboard, something which I've subconsciously and satirically copied twice in in this sentence, even though it's not all that funny. I've also not written much about the film 'Adaptation' because for some of the time I thought that Charlie Kaufmann (whose name I can't spell and can't be bothered looking up) was me and I was him. Some of the scenes seemed entirely like a reflection of my life and I obsessed some of the time about how I was going to review it, and what I was going to write. I've been writing this review for twenty minutes and I know I have to end it otherwise a mania is going to set in. But I feel like Charlie. I can't find an ending, and unlike him I haven't got the strength to make up an imaginary brother, because I'm still torn about whether being an only child was a good thing … And I didn't like the ending of his film, but I missed some of it because the two drunk people who came in giggled to themselves all of the way through, even though I gestured to them to shut up. I just spoke to Charlie Kaufmann and he's told me to write what I want about his film because he's moved onto a different project and about to do an interview about Human Nature the screenplay which was turned into another weird opus with Patricia Arquette about a woman who grows hair all over her body. I should have put that bit earlier in the review somewhere. I also wanted to mention that the link I sent to Jason Kottke which was an interview with Cage from Radio 4 programme, 'Back Row' was used on the official weblog about 'Adaptation' and how I wonder if he's read my weblog. Now I'm worried that I've written too much without actually talking about the film, and that when I post this on my weblog just look like a block of unreadable text which should feature more swearing. I should end this now so that I can post it on the weblog for today. The film is worth seeing just don't expect to see 'Being John Malkovich' even though you'll see bits of that film in there as well. It's two minutes before midnight. I'd better post this. Then I can go back after midnight and correct some of it.
Quote! Here.

[Another long one. I really did like John Donne didn't I? Special prize for anyone who can rewrite it in the style of a contemporary pop song.]
Film No really. This is the first poster for Kevin Smith's new film 'Jersey Girl'. Talk about distancing yourself from your past. And what's Drew Barrymore doing there?
Mefi in the ruins. Achingly funny from a certain perspective. The reaction. Anyone got a good solution for removing a keyboard which has melted itself into your arm?
Space Looking backwards to move forwards, NASA have recreated the plane the Wright Brothers used in the first recorded flight, hoping to answer the immortal question, "How did that thing get off the ground?"
"Rediscovering the secrets of the Wright brothers to inspire a new generation is what motivates The Wright Experience," said Hyde. "Our journey will continue through December 17 this year with the flight of this 1903 Wright Flyer reproduction at Kitty Hawk. These wind tunnel tests will help us recreate the Wrights' historic accomplishment and reduce the risk involved in the replica flight later this year," he said.
Results will be released shortly.
Culture In World Music tonight, we were given a two hour primer on how music is taught throughout the planet. Considering the various models, our tutor asked an African student what happened there -- did women get involved in music -- what happens in Africa?
"They get married..." He said quickly.
'The Revenger's Tragedy' which is probably an acquired taste and wasn't helped by featuring many of the same locations which doubled for London in the Christmas BBC adaptation of 'The Hound of the Baskervilles'. And what was Sinbad from Brookside doing there in a poor moustache?
'The Kid Stays In The Picture' a fabulous meander through the life of film producer Robert Evans. But how much of it is completely true?
'Men in Black II', the most redundant and poorest sequel since 'Sister Act II: Back in the Habit', featuring at least two jokes nicked from Douglas Adams
'The Eye' a Taiwanese horror movie which proves that sometimes it's all about the editing. Sandra Bullock will no doubt star in the poorer Hollywood remake.
'40 days and 40 nights' has the germ of a very good idea, muddied by trying to be a comedy too much and throwing in too many easy jokes and trying to be a Kevin Smith film
'Mulholland Drive' sits and blinks at me. I blame the black lodge.
'A Comedy of Errors', Trevor Nunn's 1984 RSC production with a youngish Judy Dench and that guy who always plays the English toffs in USTV shows like 'The West Wing'. Strangely similar in tone to Buffy's 'Once More With Feeling', only without the vampires
Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day
To the last syllable of recorded time;
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage
And then is heard no more. It is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.

[First bit of Shakespeare I ever learnt. It's from Macbeth Act V, Scene 5.]
Music 'Something That You Said', the new single by The Bangles was released today. The local HMV had few copies at 2pm - whether this was because they were selling out or just didn't get many copies wasn't clear. I would urge you all to go and purchase because it's actually very, very good. Rather than repeating past glories, they've actually managed to take the band's sound and extrapolate it to a more contemporary feel. The harmonies are still there, and Susanna Hoffs' voice still has the power to melt. For some bizarre reason they aren't on the cover, because they could still stop traffic. Also charming are the choice of B-sides, 'Getting Out of Hand' a Beatlesesque piece which was originally the flip side of their first single, and an acoustic version of possibly their most recognizable single, 'Eternal Flame' from 2000 (which sounds like the final song in a film where the band members have finally buried their differences). Anyway, to celebrate this minor miracle, I'm presenting five random reasons why The Bangles were always my favourite girl group.

(1) 'Going Down To Liverpool'

The lyric spoke for itself 'We're going down to Liverpool and do nothing, all the days of our lives'. Callers to local radio stations were furious, and I'm sure I saw the mayor being interviewed on the local news talking about all the things their were to do in the city ('Our great football tradition, theatreland, music…') But when I heard this at the age of ten I don't think I was in a position to disagree. There really wasn't much for me to do in Liverpool, especially during school holidays which were mostly spent in the backgarden. This is the song which captured perfectly my childhood.

(2) The video for 'Going Down To Liverpool'

Sorry, the official video. The unofficial video I saw on Saturday Superstore featured the girls at various locations throughout the city (and the Mersey Ferry) miming and dancing. The official video was a somewhat stranger affair. A car drives through a seemingly endless tunnel and at the end the band gets out and dances in the entrance. I suppose we can fantasise that Susanna and friends were actually in the Mersey tunnel having spent a lugubrious night sampling the nightlife of Runcorn or Widnes. As the thing starts you suddenly get the feeling something is awry. You know the driver from somewhere. Hey - he looks a bit like Leonard Nimoy. My god, it is Leonard Nimoy. Eyebrows arched, grittily staring at the road. Nimoy's own pop career is legendary, 'The Ballad of Bilbo Baggins' a classic. His subsequent appearances on 'The Simpsons' marking him out as someone who doesn't take himself too seriously. But this was slap bang in the middle of his sober phase. When he blamed Spock for ruining a promising career, not all that long after writing 'I Am Not Spock'. In his steely eyes you can see the pain and frustration, a look which says 'At least its not a beer commercial.' He does get his moment though, as he turns the music off (a moment stolen for the Madonna / Ali G opus). But his demeanour says but one thing. So its come to this then has it?

(3) 'Hazy Shade of Winter’ / ‘Be With You’

For some reason, despite having broken up for the first time a year before, ‘The Bangles’ turned up twice in my University career. ‘Hazy Shade of Winter’ was a cover version of the Simon & Garfunkel track created for the soundtrack of the film ‘Less Than Zero’, eventually turning up on the best of collection, at the end of their first career. You will have noticed that I’m not huge fan of long drawn out songs. If a musician can’t tell the story in under three and a half minutes, they may have too much to say for themselves. This is three minutes, which made it the perfect soundtrack for the opening of my one and only film documentary ‘Leeds’ made whilst I was a student their as part of my course. It was apt at the time – the northern town can be bitterly cold most of the year – and had a nice swirly wooshing section in the middle which fitted in well with the 360 degree pan of the university campus I’d filmed.

‘Be With You’, about one person’s obsession with the idea of a lover as far as I can gather. At the time it sounded interesting an profound enough that when I was asked to appear at a lunch time Poetry reading, as well as my own dogerall, Gerard Manley Hopkins and John Lennon’s ‘Imagine’ there it was sounding just like Shakespeare. Ok actually not, but this was another reason for liking ‘The Bangles’ – so many of their tracks have a habit of fitting my mood or something I’m trying to do.

(4) 'Eternal Flame’

I often wonder if the girls – women – whatever know about the profound effect this one track on the people of Liverpool at a particular time. On the evening of the Hillsborough football disaster, both of the local radio stations dumped their programming to offer a mix of information, news and calmer music. In the midst of it, ‘Eternal Flame’ was the one song which stood out, it’s lyrics offering a different resonance and meaning in those hours. It was at number one the following week as many people used it as a focus for their grief (I think it was even played at the memorial service) and still is for some. Which is why the cloth eared version released by scouse girl group ‘Atomic Kitten’ was wrong in many respects.

(5) ‘The Allnighter’

Once Susanna Hoffs had left the band (leading to the original split) they way was clear for some experimentation, hence the shift into film. It’s a pity that the project she decided upon to forge a film career was this opus which made even the Dawson’s Creek beach party episode look like a good move. The plot (courtesy of The Internet Movie Database): “Molly, Val and Gina are graduating college, but on their final night, frustrations are aired. Molly is still looking for real love and Val is beginning to doubt if that is what she's found. Gina is too busy videotaping everything to really notice. When the final party at Pacifica College kicks off, things don't go exactly as planned.” It sounds spiritually like ‘Mysic Pizza’. It’s actually close to porn. Only written and directed by her MOTHER! It is probably worth seeing if you’ve watched every other film ever made, if only to see what Joan Cusack was doing a year before ‘Working Girl’ and why Dedee Pfeiffer isn’t as famous as her sister.

[My long term reader will notice that was the ninth and final mention of a certain Liverpudlian girl group. See you girls.]

I'm exceptionally artistic!

Find your soul type
at kelly.moranweb.com.
Collective I seem to be calving myself a little bit of The Collective for myself. I've got a featured review again this week (The Scottish Play) bagging a Turin Breaks T-shirt, and I'm out and about on the near you page.
Comedy Dave Gorman has been hinting on a Googlewhack Adventure. Intriguing.

Test The past eight months of online archives have disappeared. One of the suggestions is to post something new, so I'm trying that now ...

[Nope. That didn't work either. Some of the pages are there, but for some reason, Blogger is refusing to republish all of the back end of last year. I've tried turning my archives off and on and off and on again, and that didn't work. And replacing the template then putting it back again. If anyone has any other suggestions I'll be happy to hear them. Until then, we'll be all about the present.]