Film How the hell am I supposed to review 'Adaptation'. I've forgotten how wrote legibly. I read everything I've ever written and it's laced with typos, misspellings and misunderstanding. My dissertation had a spelling mistake on the title page. It's 11:30 at night and should be going to bed because I'm going to Manchester shopping tomorrow. My arms are cold because I forgot to turn the radiator in my room on before I went out to work this morning, and I really want to be answering the email I just got from a friend who has a problem, which she says she doesn't want an answer to but I feel compelled to write something. Now I've started a review of a film in which the screenwriter has egotistically or pretentiously written himself into by writing myself into the review, which is an obvious tactic and which has probably been used by at least one other reviewer somewhere. But I can't think of another way of writing about a film which is laced with so many inspirational and original moments but finally seems too self important for it's own good. I want to say that I enjoyed the experience, but I'm not sure that I enjoyed the thing to it's best advantage. Earlier in the evening I saw a Kazakstarni film about Abai, the poet brought up amongst hill farmers. That film started late and played to an audience of eight, including myself and two people I see on my bus every morning who also went to a see a Bollywood film at the Philharmonic Hall, a film they loved but which I was bemused by. But now I'm straying from the film I'm reviewing, but I want to let people know that if I didn't like the film it might have been because I was getting over watching this other film which didn't seem to make any narrative sense and might have benefited if the projectionist had shuffled some of the reels. Before the film, 'Adaptation' I mean not the other one, a multicultural group of people sat behind and were obsessing about the reclining seats. They reminded me of the cast of 'The Book Group'. I thought it would be cool if I could get a group of strangers or friends to get together once a month for a day to watch DVDs on themes and talk about them or whatever. Then the film starts, after the THX logo. The trouble is I now want to talk about the film and ask lots of questions, but this is the kind of film which works on reactions to things and is spoilt if you know what is going to happen before hand. But I'm not sure whether people like to read reviews to find out if a film is worth seeing or to aid their own impressions of the film. Because sometimes if I can't get to grips with a film I'll look at the Time Out Film Guide and it helps me to work out how I feel about it. I'm happy to see Meryl Streep who I always secretly fancied in her earlier work, but also in 'The River Wild'. Somewhere along the line I forgot that there was only one Nicolas Cage. About ten minutes into the film two guys come in in track suits and sit on my row, they have a pint of beer in a plastic cup. I think of Pulp Fiction. I realize that one of them is the one I met in the toilet after the first film who caught me talking to myself and wanted to know what I was talking about and decided when I told him that I didn't understand the film (the first one not 'Adaptation') and that it didn't make any sense that it was bollocks. And how after he had left I'd decided that I had enjoyed it after all because of the cinematography and how great that looked in the unusually square frame. I've noticed that earlier on in in the review I put to 'in' words together, like my fingers are stuttering on the keyboard, something which I've subconsciously and satirically copied twice in in this sentence, even though it's not all that funny. I've also not written much about the film 'Adaptation' because for some of the time I thought that Charlie Kaufmann (whose name I can't spell and can't be bothered looking up) was me and I was him. Some of the scenes seemed entirely like a reflection of my life and I obsessed some of the time about how I was going to review it, and what I was going to write. I've been writing this review for twenty minutes and I know I have to end it otherwise a mania is going to set in. But I feel like Charlie. I can't find an ending, and unlike him I haven't got the strength to make up an imaginary brother, because I'm still torn about whether being an only child was a good thing … And I didn't like the ending of his film, but I missed some of it because the two drunk people who came in giggled to themselves all of the way through, even though I gestured to them to shut up. I just spoke to Charlie Kaufmann and he's told me to write what I want about his film because he's moved onto a different project and about to do an interview about Human Nature the screenplay which was turned into another weird opus with Patricia Arquette about a woman who grows hair all over her body. I should have put that bit earlier in the review somewhere. I also wanted to mention that the link I sent to Jason Kottke which was an interview with Cage from Radio 4 programme, 'Back Row' was used on the official weblog about 'Adaptation' and how I wonder if he's read my weblog. Now I'm worried that I've written too much without actually talking about the film, and that when I post this on my weblog just look like a block of unreadable text which should feature more swearing. I should end this now so that I can post it on the weblog for today. The film is worth seeing just don't expect to see 'Being John Malkovich' even though you'll see bits of that film in there as well. It's two minutes before midnight. I'd better post this. Then I can go back after midnight and correct some of it.

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