"You don't sleep much, you bathe even less, you'd have to eat things that you wouldn't want to look at while they were alive." -- Jeff, 'Rear Window'

Life I hadn't realised it had been so long. I manage to churn out something here pretty much every day, but it hadn't occurred to me how long it's been since I simply wrote about my state of mind which is something I used to do all of the time. I'm sure there's an existential reason for this and a few hours of therapy would probably find meaning but I think it's just that there isn't much to write about. Partly this is to do with The Rules which have been particularly important, especially now.

Truth be told, I've been in a very odd mood, fixating on bizarre things like poor cups of coffee and television spoilers. The emotional part of the brain which is supposed to be dealing with friendships and relationships is really beginning to luxuriate in the famine and letting other random nonsense drop into the hole. Life's uncomplicated and I'm seem actually to be depressed about that which is a bit masochistic because not too long ago I was longing for this state of grace. Infuriating.

Perhaps I've just been sleeping too much. It used to be I'd get six hours a night but lately I've been working through eight or even nine. In an entirely unscientific experiment I'm alarming myself at seven every morning and making sure I don't go back to sleep even if work doesn't ensue. So far it's been working. I do feel properly tired as I type this at just before midnight (which accounts for the fairly experimental use of the English language) but still relatively alert and happy. I do feel like I'm getting more accomplished but this is only day four. I'll let you know how rotten I feel at the weekend.

No comments:

Post a comment