Something Borrowed.



“You’all'right Sharon? You look at bit … out of sorts …”
“Oooh hello Michael. I was just trying to decide what to give William for his tea tonight.”
“Well I’ve got this nice cut. There’s isn’t much left mind. Problem with the supplier.”
“What is it?”
”Not sure but it was going out of the door, I’d say like hot cakes but the baker’s down the road .. huh huh huh … but it’s special stuff.”
“Ok. I’ll take a couple of steaks. I might treat myself.”
“Right. So tell me, how was the wedding?”
“Wedding?”
”Oh I thought your daughter Gwen and Rhys were getting married yesterday.”
”Yesterday?”
“It must have been a good one if you can’t remember, hah.”
“What day is it?”
“It’s Sunday.”
“But you’re open.”
“Everyone’s open on a Sunday these days.”
“I’ve lost a day.”
“Really good one. Howze this?”
“Fine. But no Michael. I just remember waking up with a splitting headache this morning.”
“Oh.”
“What is it Michael?”
”I had that nice Trina Thomas in earlier and I asked her about the wedding too, making small talk, y’know, and she said she couldn’t remember the nuptials either. I just put it down ‘err being, y’know. Then Kyffin said that Banana Boat’s gone missing and it makes you wonder. Sharon, are you alright dear?”
“I think I’d better go home and talk to Bill. See you…”
”Right …. Sharon! You forgot your meat! ... Hello, what can I get for you?”

“Oooh hello Sharon. What did they have at the butchers? I’m in the mood for a steak tonight.”
“Oooh William. Could you sit down for a minute, there’s something I need to tell you.”
“I am sitting.”
“Right. Um, I’ll sit too.”
“This is cosy.”
“Do you remember what we did yesterday?”
”What’s wrong?”
”How should I put this. Gwen and Rhys were married yesterday.”
“Yes. I know, I was there.”
“You were?”
”Yes. And you were too.”
“Oooh my head.”
“Well never forget that wedding day in a hurry . Gwen was pregnant with an alien! She did look lovely in that dress despite the bump. The whole day could have just been about that. The mother pretended to be Brenda and nearly killed you. We found out Gwen was working for some kind of organisation that chases aliens for a living and she’d been bitten by one of them but it was all alright in the end because that creepy American bloke shot her and Rhys managed to kill the alien baby inside Gwen using some kind of alien machine they just happened to have lying around, which is surprising considering he usually gets confused by the microwave.
“All of that happened?”
“Yes. About the only good thing about it was meeting that nice Tosh-girl, she was sassy.”
“Michael!”
“Sorry. Do you remember now?”
”I do. I don’t know how but … so Banana Boat?”
“Yes, poor lad. But considering what he was like and all the things that are apparently living in Cardiff I’m surprised it didn’t happen sooner.”
“Gwen and Rhys’ll be one their honeymoon. I’ll give them a ring when they get back.”
"It all sort of explained why she'd not been in touch lately."
“Um. Oooh, I left the meat -- whatever it was -- in the butchers. I’ll cook you a ham and cheese omelette.”

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