Not that any of this stopped the whole thing from turning into this scene from Monty Python's Life of Brian. In case you're wondering, in this scenario, Reg is Michael Martin, the PFJ are the Labour Party and Judith is Douglas Carswell, the Conservative backbencher who is putting forward the motion of no confidence:
AT THE POPULAR FRONT OF JUDEA's HEADQUARTERS:Hopefully the actual vote of no confidence will not be like The Phantom Menace.
REG Right, now, eh. Item four: attainment of world supremacy within the next
five years. Eh, Francis, you've been doing some work on this.
FRANCIS Yeah, thank you, Reg. Well, quite frankly, siblings, I think five years is
optimistic, unless we can smash the Roman empire within the next twelve
months.
REG Twelve months?
FRANCIS Yeah. Twelve months. And let's face it... as empires go, this is the big
one, so we've got to get up of our arses, and stop just talking about it.
PFJ Hear hear!
LORETTA I agree. It's action that counts, not words, and we need action now.
PFJ Hear hear!
REG You're right. We could sit around here all day talking, passing resolutions,
making clever speeches, it's not going to shift one Roman soldier.
FRANCIS So let's just stop gabbing on about it, it's completely pointless, and it's
getting us nowhere.
PFJ Right.
LORETTA I agree. This is a complete waste of time.
--[Judith runs in, panicked.]
JUDITH They've arrested Brian!!
PFJ What?
JUDITH They've dragged him off. They're going to crucify him.
REG Right. This calls for immediate discussion!
JUDITH What?!?
REGULAR Immediate.
DIET Right.
LORETTA New motion?
REG Completely new motion. Eh, That, ah. That there be, ah, immediate action...
FRANCIS ... ah, once the vote has been taken.
REG Well, obviously once the vote has been taken, you can't act on a resolution'till you've voted on it!
JUDITH Reg, for God's sake, let's go now, please!
REG Yeah, yeah. Right, right. In the, in the light of fresh information from,
ah, sibling Judith.
LORETTA [taking notes] Ah, not so fast, Reg.
JUDITH Reg, for God's sake. It's perfectly simple. All you've got to do is to go out of that door now, and try to stop the Romans nailing him up. It's happening, Reg! Something's actually HAPPENING, Reg! Can't you understand? Yaaargh! [She rushes out in a rage.]
FRANCIS Oh. Oh dear.
REG Hello... and a little ego-trip for the feminists.
LORETTA What?
REG Ah, oh, sorry, Loretta. Ah, read that back, would you?
2 comments:
Slander, not libel ;-)
Anyway, MPs can say anything in Parliament and not be sued for slander - it's called Parliamentary Privilege. Very handy at time.
They can't however, accuse another member of lying - cardinal sin.
I would say the PFJ in this metaphor is the Parliamentary privileges committee, which Martin chairs and which could have acted a long long time ago.i don't think this is a party political issue (although Cameron is doing a very good job of making it one. The Observer described him as a competent brand manager yesterday and they're right - his response has been textbook marketing 101).
Slander: Yes, quite right. In which case I found it interesting the way that Martin jumped in when he did to stop the MP speaking.
PFJ: Broadly it isn't a party issue, though I haven't seen many Labour front benchers speaking on the subject.
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