feeling listless

Life I failed my English Literature A-Level which meant I got into university on a wing and a prayer. Unlike other pupils in other parts of the country, two years worth of work rested on a couple of three hour exams in which I couldn't take the set texts in. Now I'm not saying that was any excuse not for getting a grade, but it did make it a bit tricky.

In the recent move and subsequent life laundry, all kinds of artifacts have appeared, and that includes the essays I slogged away at over the two years of study which led up to the drivel I evidently spewed out on those fateful mornings in June 1993. I thought I was quite good at them towards the end, and it's true there are some good teachers comments. But most are just a catalogue of my failures, as usual. For your edification I present them here. To gain extra marks see how many reflect the weblog as well.

"Doesn't answer the question...

Get a dictionary and use it!

Weak effort

Some good points but not really rigorous enough

Your handwriting is 'orrible!

Passable -- grasps some of the main ideas . Style is quiet well realised. Don't make idiotic spelling mistakes.

Some good points - but:
(1) Very hard to read
(2) Too much storytelling
(3) Too many general comments

A reasonable survey - though some ideas seem misunderstood, you discuss a wide range of ideas

Too often difficult to follow your train of thought. Concentrate on clear expression.

Contrast of styles

Some valid points, but also some waffle. You must read widely to improve your essay style.

Some misunderstandings and some clumsy passages, but this is a workman like attempt. You need not follow the chronological order of the book.

Do try and stick to the point using a plaid (unreadable word) style

Some fairly serious misunderstandings - make sure you fully grasp the meaning of the poem. Don't make idiotic, basic spelling mistakes.

Barely begins to answer the question

Sketchy, unfocused

Some promising comments

Style improving - watch for careless errors

Hints at some understanding, but mainly shallow and wrongheaded.

Lacking a final coherence but clear in outline

Far too short and generalised. You must go into greater detail.

Weak on the poems

Weak on text

And finally -- the only F I got in a sea of Es and Ds:

This is a thoroughly feedle attention in class. See me at the end.

Looking through it's fairly obvious which essays I took time over and which I didn't. Frankly if was given some of the garbage I handed in then to mark now I would have given it and automatic D as well.

But here is the paradox. I loved the books themselves. I still do. I can still remember sections of them and have copies on my shelf. Milton's description (in Paradise Lost of the fall of man (and woman) is one of the most erotic scenes I've ever read. I'll also not forget the scene in Othello when Iago talks The Moor into believing something which flimsy evidence would easily prove to be false.

I wasn't that academic. At no point in my school career did we have a general class which taught essay writing. The idea was that we would gain the skill through practice. But the size of some of the classes meant that some of us didn't get the attention we needed until very late in the day. Although in some cases (but not all) the teaching tended to be very dry -- in one teacher's classes I would utterly blank out every week. The only times I could pay attention was during the moments when we would read the thing out loud, and I got to act out scenes with some girl I had a crush on.

So it was actually touch and go as to whether I'd even complete my A-Levels at all. And this was a good school and on the other hand I was a prefect. I was caught in what could quite comfortably described as a Rushmore Syndrome, and I was Max.

But I did buck my ideas up, and in my last year at school the essays really did get better. I began to type them on an old electric typewriter (which built in Tipp-Ex corrector) and glancing through them now they flow much better. Maybe if the final mark had beens based on coursework as well as exams (as is now the case) I might have fought my way up to a D or even a C.

I'm dredging all this up now, because The Big Read list is out and looking at it I feel like I've wasted my life reading wise. I've read precisely one book on the list and it's a novelisation of a radio series. When I was reading tie-in novels I could have been absorbing good narratives, increasing my vocabulary and improving my writing style. Time then to make up lost time and The Big Read list seems to offer the perfect structure (skipping Archer of course).

Ideas in the comments box, please, for where I should begin...