Yes, I know it's all just a bit of commercialised nonsense but ...

That Day I'm going to do this tonight while I'm feeling sorry for myself. I was looking back through the things I've written about tomorrow's date since this weblog began. Last year I said:
It's amazing how a shower can wash away so many layers of badness. My fever broke last night and now I've just got the sniffles. The significance of the day hasn't escaped me I'm just sort of numb to it. I've decided that as well as staying in on purpose tonight and being boring I'm going to watch a film which can accurately capture how I'm feeling about the day. Tonights viewing therefore will be Apocalypse Now Redux. "Siagon. Shit...."
I think you can see where this is going. In 2003 I cleverly skipped the day altogether. In 2002:
I feel strangely ambivilant about today. I'm aware that when I go places there isn't some with me holding my hand, but this year it just feels like something other people do. Perhaps it's because for once I'm not in love with someone -- in previous years I've been looking dewey eyed at the girl from a afar or good friends with them just to be around them for much the same reason. But this year no one. I know it's my situation. My life's on pause -- I'm like Scott Campbell in the film 'Singles', forever locked in a room (in my case metaphorically) wigging away, waiting for the next thing to happen. Which doesn't mean to say that if I got a serious valentine later I wouldn't be interested. My shoulder is looking out of practice -- it looks like it needs someone to lean against it soon.
What this demonstrates, I suppose, how little some things can change over a three year period. That I don't have anything else to add is incredibly disappointing.

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