I hope to write a better one next time

Theatre Emma Kennedy has been to see the widely and wildly panned musical The Man In The Iron Mask, y'know just to see. Oh the humanity:

"There was no doubting it - it was shockingly diabolical but even the hardest of critics would have been moved to tears by the fact that sitting in the stalls, with the other 50 people who had come to point and gawp, was the composer and lyricist. He was about 80 and looked like thin tissue paper about to disintegrate in the wind. He had a plastic bag in one hand and was wearing a short brown rain coat. He was sitting on his own and singing along to every single song. It was heartbreaking. Rumour has it that the reason this show has been put on was because it was his wife's dying wish. I don't know if that's true but if it is, it makes me want to kill myself for laughing. At the end, he stood up, turned to a group of deeply unimpressed tourists and said "I hope to write a better one next time," smiled and walked out of the theatre where he stood and took pictures of the hoardings."

Sadly, the soundtrack is not available in any shops. [via]