"So I go up to the next guy"

Commerce Predictably this interview with Mary Portas is essentially Absolutely Fabulous fan fiction as the precious walks within the world the rest of us inhabits. Example:

""I find myself becoming a bit Tourette's. I walk round going, 'I hate this, I hate this!' Normally I do a food shop at Waitrose, but the other day I had to go locally and the only one was a Tesco Metro. I went up to these guys, and they're stacking the shelves, and I said, 'Do you have any Yorkshire puddings?'" She affects gormless incomprehension and a foreign accent. "Pooding?"

"Now that gets me. You're not allowed to say that, cos it's politically incorrect if someone can't speak English – but he's just not going to know what Yorkshire puddings are! So I go up to the next guy, and he takes me over to the flans and the puddings. So then I'm walking round and I find myself going, 'I hate this, I hate you all, I hate the fact that I have to be here.' And I do become actually slightly quietly insane. I hate it so much. It makes me want to just cry with depression that we've got this bad. It's really, really tragic. I went into Homebase at the weekend and actually thought I was going to kill myself."

More than once lately I've been in a shop and asked for the location of something which has clearly been hidden at the back and been vaguely pointed in the direction of about three aisles none of which seem particularly hopeful and proved not to have the thing I was looking for. None of which makes me suicidal, just consider the idea that shops might as well be self service and have nodes like The Library in the Doctor Who story The Silience in the Library or explain why internet shopping is so much easier. I hope she's joking.