Abroad III I’ve always found the prospect of a hotel room a disappointing experience, especially in hotel chains. For me a place has to have a sense of presence, an impression of all that has gone before. To truly be a place to feel comfortable it has to be familiar. The only similarity I found at the Comfort Hotel in Paris was that it looked like every other room I’ve ever stayed in. This was probably the worst place I’ve stayed in. Some questions:

Why is the bathroom filled out completely with tiles including the floor, so that any water which flies there stays there. Why isn’t there a shower curtain, so that when I do want to have a shower I spend the entire time against the wall trying not to flood the rest of the bathroom. Why is the holder for the showerhead vertical to the wall so that I can’t actually stand underneath like I can at home? Why does the bath itself look like it was designed to accommodate dwarfs only?

Whose big idea was it to make the bed that way? So you fold the sheet so it covers the full length of the bed, under the pillows, and trap it under a woolen throw, covered again by another sheet. How am I supposed to get into this without wrecking the equilibrium of my sleep patterns? And when I do get in, why should I then spend the whole night trying to keep all but the bottom sheet on the bed? Further, does the maid have a really small head? I can assume this is the only reason there are two wafer thin pillows, which together only amount to half a real pillow, and require that I use all of my possessions to support my cranium for two nights?

Why is the restaurant located in a room which resembles a doctor’s surgery? Why are the hotel’s cleaning staff in here out numbering the guests, shouting a smoking? Why is that cigarette butt lying in an empty jam sachet? Why does the coffee actually taste alright? Why does the cornflakes have the consistency of old rice paper and with the skimmed milk taste like real cornflakes do with water after many pints of cider? Why are people eating them? How old are these croissants and pan du chocolate? Why did make me want to leave as quickly as possible? Why did I have breakfast in the Louvre the following day?

Why did I pay £48 per night for this?

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