"After about 20 minutes of waiting in this cinema, it was clear that something was wrong. The crowd began to squirm agitatedly in their seats. The old people, emboldened by their coffee, were tutting and clicking like crickets in the background of a Danny Dyer film set in the Med. Somebody even said, "Oh, for goodness' sake," at some point, so you could tell the mood was starting to turn. Myself and the budding Eberts and Siskels started glaring at the projector with indignation, as if to say, "I had a great comparison between Dyer and James Cagney to use and you idiots are ruining it."Or not. The film hadn't even started yet. Or ever ... anyway, inevitably ...
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