The Feeling Listless Soundtrack 1.0 What's Up?

Written by Linda Perry
[from the single: 'What's Up?', Alex, 1993]

There are few words. Strangely not in the mood the write, except to offer my condolences to any American readers, and anyone else effected by this. I've sent a circular email to anyone I know may be a regular reader, but to anyone I don't know -- take care of yourself, on today off all days... [11th]

The train this morning was almost silent as people read the collected stories of yesterday in their newspapers of choice. Silent except for the chatter of two girls more interested in their lipsticks and shoes, in denial, unable possibly to grasp the enormity of the events we've witnessed. Eventually, the hush consumed them as well. This is something which has affected everybody. Something changed yesterday. [12th]

The bus to the station was deathly quiet again this morning. Apart from a baby crying. It is getting easier to live now, although everything is still in the back of my mind. I simply can't understand why this has affected me, whilst my co-workers and people I see about seem to be able to get on with their lives efficiently. My Mum said it was because of 'The way you are.' I wonder what that means. I think I'm mostly filled with foreboding about the days and months ahead. Even in Liverpool this will never go away -- everyone is connected somehow. I was one of the few to volunteer to take calls tomorrow during the three minutes silence, for those who don't want to respect it (although I can't imagine who). I think the thing which will stand after this is 'perspective'. Suddenly, all of the little niggling things which seemed really important on Monday just don't seem to matter now. It occurred to me earlier I haven't listened to any music since Tuesday morning. I should go do that. [13th]

Observed the three minutes silence in the end today anyway -- strange to be doing so in the kind of office those people lost their lives in. Just underlined how lucky we are to be alive. [14th]

As news gatherers begin to acknowledge there is other news happening, I too find it's possible to write and think about other things. I do agree with sentiments at the end of this article that everything has changed. The world doesn't seem as interested in showbiz types and soap operas -- real life dramas have become much more potent.[15th]

People are describing this time as the aftermath. After what? This isn't over yet. Not yet. This is a pause. A respite. A moment of reflection. A preparation for the coming whatever. [17th]

[Commentary: I'm on shaky ground. Should I condemn the younger version of me for being facile enough to juxtaposing these blog post excerpts with this 90s anthem? Well ... I think there's probably more to condemn in the content of the posts themselves in the way they attempted to transfer my own emotions, to everyone else in the world, but I don't think most of them say anything which wasn't communicated somewhere else at the time in some way.  I do remember the moment when The Onion published their famous article and I do think there is a cycle when horrendous events occur that we do wonder if we'll ever get back to being able to thinking about trivialities and not feel guilty about it.  It's worth pointing out that by 9/12 I was noting that PJ Harvey had won the Mercury Music Prize and by the Sunday I was concerned for welfare of some locals.]