Almost Doctor Who:
Boots Christmas Advert 2021.

 

TV As it says in the title, find above the new Boots Christmas Advert 2021, in which Jenna Coleman, the actress who played a companion for nearly three seasons in the popular British science fiction programme Doctor Who, bounces in as a completely different character who is gifted a handbag for Christmas by her Nan, which is bigger on the inside.

Hopefully Andrew Pixley will rock up at some point with the making of this thing because the behind-the-scenes on this could be a riot, either because they're all Doctor Who fans having a laugh or everyone including Jenna were completely oblivious to the implications which would somehow make it all the more hilarious.  I'm not sure either way.

For one thing, they make it absolutely clear throughout that Jenna is playing a character called Joy presumably because it ties in with the hashtag #bagsofjoy which appears in the YouTube title and other socials.  Which is either a way of distancing themselves from Doctor Who, or again just makes it look as though their distancing themselves from Doctor Who which again is even funny.

Just to be silly, how would this fit within Doctor Who?  Since the character is named Joy and has a completely different family, we have to assume this isn't sadly, Clara Oswald herself at some time after she's travelled with me, sorry Me.  In which case we have to assume Joy's one of the splinters of Clara, created when she stepped into the Doctor's timeline in The Name of the Doctor.

How did she end up with this magical bag?  The advert opens with Joy in her bedroom approaching the bag and the message from her Nan as though she hasn't seen either before, much less picked up the bag and investigated its secrets.  Mores to the point at the end of the episode, her Nan seems just as bewildered by this dimensionally transcendental gifting machine as anyone.

How did it get in there?  The party at the end of the film seems to happening in a much larger house than the one in the establishing shot at the start, the bay windows being the real give away, so we know that Nan doesn't live with Joy.  She could be a different Nan, the mother of another of the parents, in which case the bookended messages would make no sense.

The most obvious explanation is the bag's a gift from the Doctor.  We know that such bags do exist.  For years the Doctor's sometimes accessorised with a Gladstone bag which had the ability to gift him just the random object that might be needed to get out of a given problem (originally designed by the TV Comic writers so they could get out of a corner they'd written themselves into).

Perhaps after this Clara splinter stepped into to save the Doctor, unaware even of the help she was giving, the adoptive Time Lord decided to leave the gift.  But not wanting to disrupt her existence too much by revealing Joy's true origin, decided to attribute the present to her Nan, hoping that the old dear would be so full of Christmas cheer that she'd forget that she didn't gift the bag in the first place.

But why does the bag have the Boots logo on the side?  Because unlike the TARDIS it has a working chameleon circuit which transforms it to fit its setting and this seemed the least conspicuous.  Perhaps the Doctor's own bag turned into a Gladstone during an adventure in the mid-19th century or when he visited the Titanic (where they were used by the pursers) and got stuck that way.  

Either way, this has made me feel immensely Christmassy even though it's only the 4th November, which is precisely what they're meant to do.  Before you ask, I haven't quite managed to work out how the John Lewis advert is a secret episode of The Sarah Jane Adventures, unless Luke's sister was hiding some things about her anatomy.  And a vowel.

Not Christmas Links #3


"A new bookstore in the East Village pays tribute to all our animal friends."

"Listening to the women who alleged abuse, and fighting to get their stories heard, helped change the treatment of victims by the media and the justice system."

"Jon Ronson’s new Radio 4 series and podcast Things Fell Apart tells eight strange, unexpected and deeply human stories from the history of the culture wars."

"A gamer who shares her online name with Netflix smash hit Squid Game says she is losing work because of it."

"... is an exclusive club featuring all the camp, glitz, glamour and dodgy disco lighting you’ve been missing during the past few months, but this time it’s all for you."

"The future looks bright for Team TARDIS."

Not Christmas Links #2


[Editor's note: the second and third episodes are now available.]

A Date With the Grave: 
"No one does a funeral scene like the star of Mountain View Cemetery." 
 
"Emerging talent Studio MUTT, working with Roger Zogolovitch’s Solidspace, has won the Liverpool City Region’s ideas competition for a new post-Covid townhouse."

"A high school teacher is on suspension after putting on a play parodying Shakespeare that students called offensive and outdated." 

"Legislation for minimum delivery price aims to stop ‘distorted competition’ against independent bookshops."

"Outfits so ordinary they have to be explained."

"A Texas bar is giving Mariah Carey's mega hit "All I Want for Christmas" the silent treatment. Is it too soon to play the holiday classic? Mariah doesn't think so but the bar does."

Not Christmas Links #1


"Scott Mills meets Keisha Buchanan of Sugababes as she picks her Tracks of My Years from artists including Stevie Wonder, SWV, Destiny's Child, Girls Aloud and Britney Spears."

"The Doctor Who series opener was watched by an overnight audience of 4.43 million. Higher than most of S12's overnights."

Mark Gatiss: ‘I’m currently very, very ashamed of being English’:
"The former League of Gentlemen star on his love of low-budget British spinechillers, his loathing of Brexit and a slew of projects opening this winter."

Who is the redhead living in the Tower of London?
"With her flaming red curls, Megan Clawson looks like a fairy-tale princess. So when she walks around the moat of the 950-year-old Tower of London, it's no wonder she draws attention from visitors." 

"Romeo and Juliet is rarely lauded as the greatest of Shakespeare’s plays, an honor that usually goes to Hamlet or Macbeth or King Lear."

"The 1980s was a troublesome decade for many industrial towns and cities across the UK, and Liverpool with its rich industrial heritage was hit particularly hard. Around eighty thousand jobs were lost between 1972-1982 and the city was left devastated by the impact of de-industrialisation."

"After canceling last year because of the pandemic, the 48th annual Village Halloween Parade made its glorious—and spooky—return to New York City on Sunday night."

The Halloween Apocalypse.

TV Good evening. How are we all? Personally, after my birthday meal, I'm stuffed to the eights with kebabs from the Quick Chef and a not just mince pie but an M&S mince pie and currently drinking a hot chocolate. Well, as the millennials say, that was a lot.  Perhaps I could have done with less of the dry chips and rice, but the sauce the chicken is cooked in is so, so good.  If you've never been to the Quick Chef, I can very much recommend it.  It's the Turkish cafe at the top of Hardman Street in Liverpool, round the corner from the Philharmonic Pub and it's excellent value.

Oh, you thought I meant tonight's Doctor Who was a lot.  Well, yes, that too.  When the various announcements as to what this condensed season would look like coalesced into a six-part serial with a single title, one that Martin Belam notices in his Guardian recap is the first on television since The Armageddon Factor in 1979, we still didn't really know what that meant, especially in a contemporary context which expects every episode to be an event, with newer audiences probably less tolerant of whole instalments set inside prison cells with very little action.

The Halloween Apocalypse is probably exactly what we should have expected.  Like all serialised Who of old, it's fifty minutes of set up, introducing the range of characters we'll be interacting with over the subsequent five episodes, and the overall story.  It's The Keys of Marinus, if the exploration of the planet in the opening episode had been intercut with brains in jars, a shaggy old trapper, the murder of Eprin and a few shots of the screaming jungle long before the OG TARDIS team arrived.  It's Doctor Who but with a Game of Thrones structure.

Your mileage on this will depend on how accepting you are of ensemble pieces and hyperlink dramas in general.  Having written a dissertation about them (have I mentioned?) I'm very much looking forward to seeing how all of these characters fit together and how many of them actually have anything to do with the Flux or were just part of a script which had already been prepared and jammed into this shorter season through some flimsy framing material.  Hopefully in episode five, they'll all mime along to Aimee Mann's Save Me together like the denizens of PTA's Magnolia.  

Does it work?  Jonn Elledge has expressed it well on the Twitters, "Well, I have no idea if that was good but I really enjoyed it."  Like all six parters, we won't know if any of this buzzy narrative has paid off for another five episodes.  Chibbers is a known quantity when it comes to offering an interesting setup then squandering it by the end (season one of Broadchurch excepted) so no matter how spectacular the existence destroying capacity of the Flux looks now, in chapter six, we might well discover that it was simply Axos having a brain fart.

And I did enjoy it.  Some of it's set on my home turf, so how could I not?  Ok, so the TARDIS lands in front of the wrong football ground and what was supposed to be Lark Lane clearly wasn't (not even Linnet Lane round the corner has houses that big) but the spirit of the place breathed through in a way which could only be the product of someone relatively local.  At least name dropping Lark Lane isn't something anyone with only a glancing knowledge of the geography would do.  No recourse either to mentioning the city's other main, musical export.  For a change.

Apart from the obvious alien intervention, the history of the Williamson Tunnels is completely accurate by the way.  Although the wikipedia wavers on their purpose in its opening paragraph, if you visit the site, they're pretty certain that as depicted here  Joseph Williamson was largely digging the vaults in order to give local people paid employment.  They're currently re-excavating it because in the years since construction Liverpool Corporation filled it with rubble from demolitions and other detritus.  Local people also tipped their household waste down there.

This year's Liverpool actor in the series, John Bishop, is fine.  As Dan, he's not really given much to do other than be a Liverpudlian and he does this very well, especially when faced with a being imprisoned on a space craft, dog-faced aliens, someone from Sheffield and the TARDIS ("I had a mate who had one of these ... I think his was a bit bigger actually ...").  It'll be interesting to see if the writer gives Bishop more challenging material or stays within the actor's potential limits.  Mum loved Bishop's stand-up, until it mostly became anecdotes about being a celebrity.

As I write this, I'm currently reading Paul Hayes's superb The Long Game: The Inside Story of How the BBC Brought Back Doctor Who about the internal BBC politics between the TV Movie and the announcement of this revival in 2003.  Time and again, creatives and accountants across the hierarchy note that if Doctor Who were to return, it would have to have special effects which could compete with whatever was coming out of Hollywood and so implicitly not the wobbly sets and costumes that Extras belatedly made fun of when the show had returned to air.

To a large extent, The Halloween Apocalypse is the end result of that expectation or mentality.  For the most part it looks extraordinary and presumably even more so on a 4K TV.  There's a certainly ballsy ambition for a tv series on this budget to even attempt the three second shot of a civilisation being completely destroyed in a wave.  The show now has the capacity to look like a feature film, to bring to the screen that which could only previous be described in Lawrence Miles novels or Nicholas Briggs audios.  

The sheer number of locations and scenes, like Game of Thrones, will have been a result of some very clever scheduling in the production schedule, like a hyper-intensive version of the work done to pull of the various season length cameos in The Big Bang but with the characters appearing before we know who they are.  Like that story, it gives Doctor Who a scale and a sense that we're properly watching a wanderer in the fourth dimension.  If nothing else, they've truly turned the COVID restrictions into a virtue.

But, the most effective moments, the scariest moments, were also the most human moments, on the street and in bedrooms. From the grim reaping of the Ravagers (no not those ones) to the posh Dave Lister moaning about his job, as RTD has previously recognised, humanity is the best of narrative anchors in a sci-fi context.  For me, it's Annabel Scholey's Claire which makes the most impact here, with her Sally Sparrow like non-sequential meeting with the Doctor and Yaz, clearly very versed in how to deal with a Weeping Angel.  Who is she and where has she gone?

At the heart of all this is the Doctor and Yaz and finally, finally, they've slotted into the classic dynamic of interpersonal interdependency, of an obtuse Time Lord infuriating their human companion, of a deep, intense friendship which can only end with the two of them sharing a bed, as they literally do here, albeit for a few brief cherishable moments which don't mean anything.  If Big Finish do nothing else with this ruddy franchise, they have to give us all of the adventures between these two leading up to Flux.  You could fit a hundred stories in that gap.

With more screen time (sort of), we finally get a thirteenth Doctor with an agency comparable to her male colleagues, who doesn't simply exist to provide something for the dozen other characters in the TARDIS to react to.  Admittedly, we have seen confronting the villain scenes before with her, but the moments in which she fervently swaps Northerns with the Karvanista hit harder, perhaps because the Doctor has a mission to discover more about her secret origins.  But why exactly isn't she willing to tell Yaz everything.  Aren't they friends?

Similarly, Yaz is a more rounded figure, flying the TARDIS, dealing with Dan's quizzing about the mysteries of the Doctor's life.  We don't know how long they've been together now, but she's a new surety and its a joy to watch her and the adoptive Gallifreyan working in-sync.  There's still a lot of character-based heavy lifting going on in throw away lines like about herself as being a former police officer.  If she's now consumed by her life in the TARDIS, we might wonder how long it is since she visited her family.  Cue Jackie's speech from Parting of the Ways.

All of which ends on a pretty nail-biting conclusion with massive intergalactic destruction intercut with shots of the characters with whom we've just been introduced (all Kuleshoving the end of the universe even though most of them probably don't know its happening given that they're in a completely different time zone).  Jodie tries desperately not to end things on some cliffhanger acting but the edit doesn't do her any favours by cutting away in the final moments when clearly a Trial-like zoom up her nostrils seemed to be the ideal order of business.

Just one final thing before I go off and read the Gallifrey Base reaction (!).  Is this the first time the title of the story has appeared with the title of the series in the main titles?  I can't think of another.  Even though Trial has its semi-official story titles, in the credits its listed as Parts One to Thirteen and The Key To Time doesn't appear anywhere in the credits of season 16.  It makes sense, sticking Flux random at the top of the episode title page would have looked ridiculous.  FLUX (colon) Chapter One (colon) The Halloween Apocalypse.  A typeface apocalypse more like.

Except Flux has also been adopted as the title when this series of episodes is released on DVD which means we're more than like not going to get something with "The Complete Thirteenth Series" written on the side.  Unless this and the subsequent three specials aren't going to be treated as one of those and after all of this, Russell first run back is going to be called that.  Or Chibbers is of a suspicious nature and they're just going to skip over that particular number.  Even though the present incarnation is incorrectly labelled just that ...
It’s not politics that make the UK rubbish at Eurovision – it’s the fact our songs are bad: "Our failures aren’t to do with Brexit, but our dull tracks. Maybe Dua Lipa’s team can shine a light on where we’re going wrong."
He’s a poet and the FBI know it: how John Giorno’s Dial-a-Poem alarmed the Feds:
"After receiving hundreds of thousands of calls, the poet’s project almost broke the New York telephone exchange – leading to an FBI investigation. Will it cause similar chaos in the Instapoet era?"
Has Covid changed New York City nightlife forever?
"Photographer Dina Litovsky was used to taking pictures of rowdy crowds in the chaos that is nightlife in the Big Apple. Then she was suddenly confronted with the new pandemic reality of empty streets and closed clubs."
How We Made Overload: The Guardian interviews Siobhan and Mutya about the recording of the song:
"We recorded our vocals on a handheld mic, just a quick demo, one take. The idea was that you’d come back and do it properly later. At least, that’s what Cameron told us, which meant we were completely relaxed. My vocal on Overload is quite pitchy – but that was exactly what he wanted to capture, the raw emotion in the moment."

James Bond:
Into the Bondiverse.

 Film  No Time To Die is by far my favourite of the Bond films starring Daniel Craig and perhaps the Bond I've enjoyed the most since The World Is Not Enough.  Completing the narrative arc for this version of the character, it has some absolutely spectacular action sequences and an incredibly appealing story.  On top of that it has a genuine wit with Craig demonstrating his dry comedic abilities more than any of the previous instalments; if Casino Royale felt like it was on the coattails of Bourne, this has something of the comradeship of the M:I series.

At the end of the credits, we're told James Bond will return, and of course he will, but part of me wishes that he wouldn't.  Or at least we'd be gifted a series of spin-off films with Lashana Lynch's new 007 working with this M, Q and Moneypenny aided by Ana de Armas's Paloma in the Felix Leiter role alongside whatever reboot MGM et al have in store.  There's no need for a "Jane Bond" or whatever.  Rest the role for a bit and continue the franchise with this new family of characters, preferably scripted by Phoebe Waller-Bridge.  If not on film, a TV series would do.

But how does this iteration of Bond fit within the overall franchise?  Forgive me if I'm betraying my ignorance with any of the following, but the Broccolis have always seemed to have been a bit ambiguous as to the relationship between the different Bonds.  In some cases the intention seems to be that its all the same continuity just with different actors in the role, with continuity references such as Moore visiting his dead wife's grave in For Your Eyes Only and the same M, Q and Moneypenny continuing through different versions.  But were does that leave Dench's M, who straddled Bronsan and Craig?

The idea of "James Bond" being a codename passed down from agent to agent like M and Q and with Moneypenny as the precedent has never sat will with me because of those continuity elements.  I mean I suppose he could also be a Time Lord but that would be quite the (quantum) leap.  As this superb article about continuity explains, producer Michael G. Wilson has said "that the Bond films weren't one big film series but rather a "series of series."  That article suggests that there are perhaps two fictional universes, whatever happens between Dr No and Die Another Day and then Casino Royale onwards.  

I'd go further than that.  Each of the different Bonds happen in alternate realities, that there are various different continuities with their own internal consistent narrative.  In some realities, M, Q and Moneypenny look the same.  In others they don't.  When Moore visits his wife's grave it's because in his universe, he experienced a version of On Her Majesty's Secret Service and that also explains any other call backs.  His Moneypenny looks older because he joined the service later than Connery.  Similarly the Dench version of M who appears with Brosnan is a different person to the one who worked with Craig.

This isn't a new idea.  The Redditor who fairly comprehensively demonstrated that Connery's character in The Rock is supposed to Bond also suggests each Bond actor's tenure as being a story in its own continuity, with Casino Royale being the only time Eon 'officially' rebooted it on screen (they also note that as far as Connery was concerned he was playing Bond in The Rock).  I'd also add that the various literary Bonds and other portrays are part of this prism of endless possibilities as will whatever new version of the character crops up next (and I can't even imagine what that looks like).

Does any of this matter?  No.  But thinking of them as separate continuities will probably make them easier to watch or read with a modern sensibility attuned to franchises with rich mythology.  So there are six different James Bond series, five reboots in total.  With that being the case, perhaps it is time to either rest the character or as I've been hoping for years, to produce fidelity adaptations of the original novels and short stories, set in period, remaking where necessary.  Although I admit doing another Casino Royale right now would be tricky...

The Coffee Collection:
Wimpy, Princes Pavement, Birkenhead.

Twenty Years of Feeling Listless:
Twenty One Touch.

Music  If the pandemic has done anything, it's ruined everyone's sense of timing.  The twentieth anniversary rerelease of the Sugababes's One Touch is actually coinciding with its twenty-first year, thanks to COVID-19 and wanting to create maximum buzz.  Live shows and potential new material were supposed to appear at this time last year, when the album was officially in its 20th year but frankly, no one was in the mood.  Plus Mutya seemed to be having a time of it in terms of her hold on reality in relation to the truthiness of the Qanon conspiracy, although its nice to see she's been around for interviews a bit more.  

The sheer fact of its existence was enough for me to pay the £16 for a copy on Amazon, along with the promise of an extra exclusive disc which isn't even available on their official website.  I hate this sort of thing, especially since there are a couple of previously unreleased demos on there which is an interesting way of repaying the loyalty of fans buying directly from them through the website.  A friend on Twitter has bought a bundle from their online shop which included a signed cd and the Amazon version so he can have everything.  However cool it would be to have their signature on something, I could only really justify having all of the music.

So what do you get for your however much your paying, whomever you're paying it too?  Let's start with the packaging.  The CDs and booklet come in a cardboard tripartite slip cover which means the discs roll out almost as soon as you open it and the text is near impossible to access.  The cover tore slightly as I reached in to get the booklet, which was wedged pretty solidly at its end of the envelope.  Housing CDs in glorified paper is clearly good for the environment, but it also makes the release feel insubstantial.  If audiobooks and the like are still appearing in plastic cases, why is this premium release in a folder which won't even sit properly on the shelf?

The first CD kicks off with a remastered version of the original album in all of its imperious glory.  Perhaps its difficult to judge after twenty years of listening to these twelve tracks but there's no filler, clocking in at forty-eight minutes which feels positively brief at a time when some pop bands are still bloating things out to fill the whole potential duration of a 75 minute disc.  Much as I like Tay-Tay, Lover did not have to be an hour long; a few of the tracks especially later in the album would have made perfect b-sides back when such things existed.

Much has been written here over the years about these vocals but let's go around again.  The liner notes talk about how during the recording sessions, the producers weren't interested in hearing a "perfect" sound and wanted something raw and authentic.  You can certainly hear that in the likes of Real Thing, Same Old Story or even the title track when MKS are singing individually.  But in the harmonies, some kind of ancient magic is invoked as the three original band members create a truly unique sound, especially in polyphonic moments, as happens in New Year, when one of the voices breaks out into a different, but complementary key.

The rest of the set, including Amazon bonus, is split into four types of track: B-sides, previously unreleased demos, new remixes and contemporary remixes.  One Touch was released with a bonus track in Japan and Don't Wanna Wait is programmed directly after the end of the original album.  Not a cover of the Paula Cole track, it crashes in after the perfectly pitched final bars of Run For Cover.  Of a piece with Same Old Story or Lush Life, it's fine and would probably make sense earlier in the track listing but its surprising to know that for a number of Sugababes fans this is how the album concluded, on a slightly dated sounding fade out.

This and the next few will be familiar to those of us who bought all of the iterations of the CD singles.  Between its two versions, New Year had three non-album tracks, Sugababes on the Run, Forever and Little Lady Love although the version featured here is previously unreleased, the single version turning up on CD2 for some reason.  Run is the catchiest of the three and perhaps would have fitted soundly on the album but all four betray a certain generic sound which probably explains their lack of inclusion.  Good enough but not enough to justify chiselling through any of the commandments on the sacred tablet.

As the liner notes indicate, forty demos were whittled down to the twelve selections which appear on One Touch and other selections appear on the final four tracks from CD1 and the first two on the Amazon bonus.  They're all obviously quite rough and betray how the sessions must have proceeded as the producers tried to work out what they had in front of them and how their voices could be best utilised.  Some are outright failures.  Always Be The One attempts to bend the harmonies around a filler ballad from the Roberson and Luckett era of Destiny's Child.  All Around The World is a S/A/W revival and not in a good way.

Of the rest, Girls Night Out Is a hoot, opening with chatter between the 'babes on olde fashioned mobiles and probably would have been a stonking single from the second album with this line-up had One Touch actually sold enough copies back in the day and the animosity between the band members hadn't come to a head (which Keisha's suggested recently might even have been manufactured).  But none of them really coalesce, though again that might be because some of the more placeholder sounds and lyrics would have been replaced with something more original.  Nevertheless its fascinating to have them.  This is our Beatles Anthology.

On the other hand, sorry to say, with one or two exceptions, CD2 is pretty superfluous to me as are the final four tracks on the Amazon bonus disc.  I'm so old now.  Opening with five new remixes of songs from the original album by people twenty years younger than me might have heard of, the rest are repetitive remixes from the original sessions during the period when the producers were formulating "the sound".  None of these three versions of Overload are a patch one the original.  The "acoustic" mix of Promises is just the original with the base boost turned off.  Most just seem to bury the vocals, which is surely the reason to be here? 

The weirdest inclusion is a "non-Christmas" version of New Year, which currently has nearly nine hundred thousand plays on Spotify, presumably fans wanting to know what "non-Christmas" actually means.  Not much, as it turns out.  Otherwise identical to the original, it simply replaces "at Christmas" in the chorus with "last Winter" which just sounds wrong.  This originally surfaced on a promo CDR with the more festive single track, created perhaps with the thought of giving radio stations an alternative version to play outside of December despite the fact the title very much evokes the season of goodwill.

Despite my reservations about the packaging, this is a very nice item to own, especially in the Amazon iteration with the bonus disc housed in a sleeve designed to evoke the London Recordings singles of the 1950s.  If you're a casual who already has the original album, you're probably just as well sticking with the Spotify stream of the rerelease.  To my ears, the remaster of the original doesn't sound significantly different to the original versions especially through my non-professional audio equipment.  But if you're a die-hard fine, this is an essential purchase, if only for the demos and the liner notes.

Wordshaker.

Media Back when I had a decent salary, The Guardian was a daily purchase. Quite often I'd read most of it online the night before, but I felt duty bound to pay for it the next day anyway because someone has to pay for the journalism and advertising isn't going to cover it all. But jobs change, life changes and the price of the newspaper increased and sadly I can't afford the pay the £70 odd a month to buy every issue plus The Observer. So I make a digital contribution of a couple of pounds here and there, just to keep my conscience clear. 

But I do like to buy the physical paper when changes are afoot and so for the past couple of weekends, I've paid the £3.50 for the Saturday edition as it transitions from a clutch of different supplements, some of which have been running for a few decades, to a single entity covering some of the same material and a few others. A lot has changed since the mid-90s heyday when it even had a supplement dedicated to collating material from other publications and could try experiments like leaflets which tried to imagine what a news publication looks like now. 

Saturday glances backwards and forwards.  Returning to a format close to original 90s magazine, it's essentially much of the editorial innards from the glossy Weekend of recent times with the contents of The Guide and Review sections wedged in the middle before the lifestyle section.  If you weren't aware of the change and simply looked at the various themes on The Guardian's website, I'm not sure you'd see much of a difference. You can definitely tell what would have been the cover story on The Guide this month and Armando Iannucci's Brexit poem would have sat easily in Review instead. In other words, it brings some order to the chaos of the different supplements by making them more cost effective. 

Another approach would have been to retain the brands but simply put them under the same paper-based roof but this no doubt offers some tonal flexibility within the editorial if there's another major event and the supplement wants to produce a special issue. Instead we have a pot pourri of interviews and articles which comes across as a degree level version of The One Show, albeit without the interviewees being asked to weigh in on whatever Tim Dowling's doing that week, perhaps in the corner of the page with a photo and speech bubble.

One of the new slots,  "Dining Across The Divide" is utter horseshit, as a ridiculously ignorant Brexit voting anti-masker talks to her exact opposite and they list all the things they disagree on. Except like Blind Date, the conversation is presented through witness testimony after the fact rather than extracts of what was actually said at the table, so all we really get to hear is how reasonable they both thought they'd been in an immensely boring way. Unless The Guardian's has some trick up its sleeve, every single one of these columns is going to be identical. 

But there's also a really lovely piece in which Sophie Ellis-Bextor and her Mum Janet recreate an old photo from the mid-80s and they each talk about their relationship with one another and how her Mother's fame effected her at school and elsewhere growing up. Sophie says she lot her step-dad just before lockdown and doing the kitchen karaoke was one of her coping mechanisms. Walking the Merseyrail map and hopefully blogging some more might just be mine. Both pieces are stored in a section called "cuttings" which seems like it would have been the ideal place to put Blind Date but that's still at the back in the lifestyle section. 

Overall I was very impressed with Saturday. It has a weight and heft and plenty to read and ticks all of my aspirational boxes of making suggestions for things which'll take me out of my comfort zone, enough that I'm seriously considering buying the paper again, at least on a Saturday. I've been feeling a bit out of touch lately and with one TERFy exception, it feels like its being written for someone like me who wants an introduction to new things but isn't always sure how to access them. It's really just a case of deciding whether I can afford it, especially when the contents are on the website anyway.

He's back and it's about T.

 TV   As you know it's been a difficult few weeks, but today I'm beaming, absolutely beaming.  There are certain pop culture moments which seem so unlikely that the world, or at least your Twitter timeline seems to stop because it can't quite grasp what just happened (unless the server's gone down again).  "I'm a doctor, but probably not the one you were expecting" is pretty high on the list Doctor Who wise but taking a break in the middle of watching The Green Knight* and discovering that Russell T Davies, Russell T Davies for goodnesss sake,  is returning as showrunner for the 60th year and beyond is pretty high up there.

The BBC press release is here.  There's scant information about anything much, as you might expect, other than that it's to be a co-production between BBC Studios and Bad Wolf, the production company set up by Julie Gardner and Jane Tranter, who's about page spends a whole paragraph comparing the revival's season one story arc to the Welsh TV production industry sending its work out into the world.  They're putting the band back together and given Phil Collinson and Murray Gold both worked on It's A Sin, there's every chance they'll be returning too.  It's Saturday tea time 2005 all over again.  Again.

The press release is very careful to remind readers that there's another series and bit of Thirteenth Doctor stories to come (or however many Doctors there were before Jodie) and it is unfortunate that some extent this will overshadow the next year or so as people speculate about what the new RTD 2.0 will look like.  But twas forever thus.  Even back in the interdimensional non-space of the time vortex, when the general viewership didn't even know who was writing the show, the shift from one actor to another in the lead role was filled with fear and anticipation.

We await the Doctor Who Magazine interview within which Russell explains how he was persuaded to return, given the finality with which he communicated his desperation to leave to Ben Cook in their book The Writer's Tale.  A very large cheque was possibly involved, or the fear of cancellation because no one else wanted to do it (called by no one the JNT manoeuvre) and the enticement of being able to make it in conjunction with his old friends.  The previous workload seemed to break him last time so it is surprising that he'd want to do it all over again.  Or perhaps he just watched The Timeless Child and wanted to take one for the team.

Not to chill your mellow, but there are a couple of issues.  As we've retrospectively discovered, the production process on his previous tenure was not an altogether happy one, what with the harassment claims against Noel Clarke and John Barrowman getting his todger out in the workplace much to the amusement of cast and crewmembers who's livelihood depended on them finding it funny.  Plus Christopher Eccleston still isn't happy with the BBC or indeed Davies and co because of things he saw during the process so don't expect to see him back for the 60th.  Hopefully, as they say, lessons have been learned.

But what does this mean in the long term?  Given how enamoured Russell is about the whole business surrounding Doctor Who, Big Finish is safe, Doctor Who Magazine will be taken care of (and include a few set visits again) and we might even get Doctor Who Confidential back.  In the wider context, given that he's a collector himself and knows the pain of spines which don't match, the current logo might stay at least long enough for it to appear on all the BD boxsets.  However flimsy it seemed at first, its grown on me, although I imagine the next one'll simply be the title of the series written in lowercase BBC Reith.

Before this is posted, some wild speculation.  The next Doctor will be played by Lydia West assuming Romola's busy again.  It'll return to Saturday nights but in an old old school twenty-five minute format with story lengths of up to four episodes returning the show to twenty-odd episodes a year without much of a change in production time and some added flexibility when it comes to "double banking" and providing more cliffhangers overall.  Christmas Day episodes return although with longer seasons, they'll be woven into the fabric of those rather than standing alone.

Nevertheless this is brilliant news and I'm cracking out all of my prop words to celebrate.  Including gap years, the revival's been running for over fifteen years which is a long time for any show, especially in this genre and the fact that it's receiving a new impetuous rather than suffering through the kind of managed decline some grandees who should know better predicted (he's well pleased now the cretin) is all to the good.  That this show still has an imminent future on television and in such good hands is brilliant news and just what I needed to hear right now.  I might even start writing reviews again.

Four Favourite Doctor Who Television Stories.

 TV  Due to recent events I haven't much felt like blogging and with my wildly sporadic posting rate anyway, my fingers and brain feel out of practice, so in an effort to write and post something here and hopefully Stella my way through things, I've decided to put together a new series of posts which list some favourite examples of a thing.  They're not always necessarily my favourite favourite, such things are impossible when there's so much to enjoy in life, but just four things which are meaningful and recommend you have a look at.  They're also in no particular order which is why there are no numbers.  Anyway, here's some low hanging fruit to get started (since it's Saturday night).  The following is in no way definitive. 

City of Death

Having missed it on broadcast, my first sight of what was to become my favourite Doctor Who story was on a VHS borrowed from a friend (this was years before I became a hardcore fan).  Irrespective of the story or the script, it's the shots of the Doctor and Romana gladding about Paris, which even in that vintage seemed to my young mind who'd spent most of his life in the suburbs of Speke, like the most glamorous, romantic and yet also alien place I'd ever had a window into.  When I ended up in Paris years later, I spent my time on the Eiffel Tower reading out loud the bouquet scene, much to the intrigue of some US tourists.

Marco Polo

Again it's the scenery, but on this occasion the version manifested in my imagination on each repeated listen through the soundtrack recording.  In my mind this takes place across the full epic cinemascope experience and it's impossible not be swept up in the adventure, even when it gets a bit slow and repetitive in the middle.  Writer John Lucarotti's own novelisation for TARGET doesn't do it justice as he tries to tell the whole story in the usual hundred and twenty odd pages, which removes some of the epic scale in favour of laying bare that repetitiveness, the Doctor and his companions becoming variously captured and rescued a bit too often.

Time and the Rani

Like I said, a favourite.  There's no doubt large parts of this story are absolutely terrible, but rewatching the recent re-release, it's impossible not to marvel and the audacity of some of the choices, primarily having Kate O'Mara giving her impression of Bonnie Langford, ginger wig and day-glo costume included.  Even as Sylv is grasping about for some clue as to how he's supposed to play the thing, their scenes together are magnetic.  Plus Doctor Who's often at its most interesting when its still cooking, before it reverts into some kind of formula.

Silence in the Library/Forest of the Dead

Although he tried in his own era, I don't think Moffat created anything as rich and depthful as River Song's introductory story, especially since in retrospect, with the various noodling Big Finish are doing between her and Tenth in the audio, Alex Kingston's acting skills, and one of the longest durational attributions of the Kuleshov effect, we can absolutely feel her panic on realising that this is his first chronological encounter with her even with that daft old face, knowing this could be their final adventure together.

I'm Such An Idiom.

Life  Waiting for the moment to put the tea in the oven, I was just idly ego-googling and discovered, thanks to the magic of Google Books, that I'm quoted in the latest edition of the Oxford Dictionary of Idioms!  Huh?

Both quotes are from this blog post in 2013 in which I talk about my hernia operation (the book gives a publication date of 2014).  

The first quote is for "cross your fingers" and is on the same page as an example taken from The Bible (Matthew's gospel).


The second quote illustrates "the end of the world" which given recent events (my Mum recently died which is why I haven't really felt like being here) is especially relevant.  Sometimes it does look like it could be ...


As you might expect, I've now ordered copy of the book so I can see if there's a bibliography and if it actually explains what "feeling listless" is.  Just glancing at it, you might think it's some bestselling novel, not that it has the most enticing title.

"You asked me not to leave, well here I am again"
PopJustice on the return of ABBA. Some of you will know how meaningful Peter's comment that he "can't be the only one today thinking of all the people who loved this band and aren't around today to hear these new songs" means to me right now. My favourite things about the publicity photos are the codpieces, skirts and the fact that Anni-Frid (swoon) seems to be only one not wearing platforms. Never mind Tron, they're suited up for a lasertag session aren't they?