Nothing exciting ever happens here.

TV About 10 minutes ago all hell broke loose in the National Lottery studio.

I’d just turned over after Doctor Who Confidential for Eurovision and realised I could catch the results live for a change. Sure enough Sarah Cawood was telling the public how much they might win in this week’s super draw (oooh), when it became apparent a scuffle was happening in the corner of the set. Sarah gave a look that was almost exactly the same as the one Sue Lawley had when the Six O’Clock News was invaded all those years ago.

“Fathers for Justice!” Someone shouted.

Eamonn Holmes looked uncomfortable as the camera pushed in closer to the lottery machine and the voice of the balls tried to cover. Then the wacky director cut away to the protestors, who consisted of a duffle-coated man with a plackard, who was pushed out of the way by security to be replaced by a tall woman in a skin-tight t-shirt with some slogan or other on it. It then cut back to the machine as Eamonn and Sarah were drifting behind the curtains at the back, out of harm’s way.

Then a title card came up, and the voice of the balls felled as best he could without a script, even wishing Daz Sampson luck for tonight. Five torturous minutes later it was back to the studio and a flustered Sarah and Eamonn. The draw proceeded (I didn’t win) and at the end Holmes grinned: “Nothing exciting ever happens here.” “We’re all off for a brandy,” Cawood continued, sensing a chance to build her part.
I’m off to watch Eurovision. I can guarantee that even with Ludo or whatever the Finnish entry is called, it won’t be as exciting as that…