human act of perpetual motion

Life Walking to work each day just seems to be magnifying the ghastliness of bus travel on the way home, or at least perhaps increasing my sensitivity to the whole process of sitting in close proximity with other people in what amounts to a storage container with windows on wheels.

Yesterday there was a man sitting next to me chewing gum. He was middle aged, slightly balding, wearing a track suit, but all of that's probably irrelevant.

Most people I know who chew gum, stop now and then to give their jaw a rest, or move it around their mouth. Fidget. This man was having none of that. His chewing was rhythmic, routine, indomitable. And once I'd noticed this, once my eyes fixed on the sight of his jaw shifting left and right, it began to slowly drive me insane.

I was trying to read a newspaper, but simply couldn't concentrate as in my peripheral vision this mouth went round and round in circles. I tried looking away, out of the window, concentrating on this hilarious dissection of The Saturdays in G2, but even when I couldn't see this human act of perpetual motion, I could still irrationally sense it, even hear it, though I suspect that was just my imagination.

Ultimately I spent the rest of the journey home with my right eye shut leaving my left eye free to finish the newspaper and make sure I got off at the correct stop. This is of course insane, but the only way I could think of that didn't broadcast my discomfort. It wasn't his fault he was sitting next to a umbrageous twerp like me.