Love Actually is so rubbish even The New Statesman hates it.

Film ... or Rhiannon Lucy Cosslett and Holly Baxter of the Vagenda Magazine writing on The New Statesman website anyway. Covers some of the same ground as my original post in a humourous manner with big photographs and more of a focus on romance. Example:

"Recently lost your mum to a tragic terminal illness? Dad off the scene? Perhaps you need someone to tell you that mum really loved you and that that love will always shine in the sky for her. Someone like a grief counsel-OHMYGOD LOOK AT THAT FIT GIRL. In another instance of those pesky, sexy Americans coming over the pond and grabbing the attention of unsuspecting Brits, tweenage Joanna gives ten-year-old Sam his first romantic feelings. He then defies airport security to kiss her goodbye with the help of Rowan Atkinson, somehow without being mistaken for a terrorist with a bomb in his underpants and Tasered: it’s a Christmas miracle!"