Life Conversation between two pensioners overheard in the local Oxfam shop whilst I was attempting to buy a vhs copy of Jacque Demy's French New Wave classic Lola:

Agnes: Well, I didn't know what else I should so with it.
Clerk: What did she say?
Agnes: She asked me not to.
Clerk: Did you tell here why you were doing it, Agnes?
Agnes: Yes. But she just said that throwing it over the hedge was unhygienic.
Clerk: But if her cats were doing it in your backyard.
Agnes: I know.
Clerk: Has she got a litter tray?
Agnes: That's what I said to her. I told her she should get a litter tray.
Clerk: And what did she say?
Agnes: She said she'd only have to clean it out before she went to work in the morning and she didn't have the time.
Clerk: That's terrible.
Agnes: I know. It's terrible.
Clerk: And what did you say?
Agnes: I said she should get rid of them.
Clerk: No she shouldn't have cats.
Agnes: And she said she couldn't do that.
Clerk: She couldn't do that. So what did you say?
Agnes: I said we should come to an arrangement. I said if I see them doing that in my back yard again, I'd whack them with a broom.
Clerk: (laughs) Did you?
Agnes: I said I'd whack them with a broom.
Clerk: Yes.
Agnes: She didn't like that.
Clerk: (laughs)
Agnes: Yes.
Clerk: You should one of those hoses and put the nozzle by the door.
Agnes: Yes.
Clerk: And if they come in (laughs) turn it on and all the water'll shoot out the end.
Agnes: Yes!
Clerk: (laughs).
Agnes: (laughs) Oh well, I've got to go into Tesco and buy some disinfectant.
Clerk: I'll see you later.
Agnes: I don't like moaning. I mean there are more important things happening outside of my little world. But still.
Clerk: Oh. (turns to next customer)
Agnes: Bye.
Next customer: Have you got one of those things the council have for picking up litter. What are they called?

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